Deployment resentment???

[navygirl3736]

Hey guys i was wondering if anyone is feeling any lingering anger or resentment towards their SO after homecoming. DB has been home almost 2 weeks and i loved every second of it! However, now i find myself having some feelings arise that i didnt really know where there. Every time i open up and let a little emotion out it is as though i have opened a flood gate and a rush of many emotions come pouring out. I am soooooooo unbelievably proud of DB for his job and for having the courage to do what he does. But now that he is home and stories about port stops etc (DB is in the navy p.s.) are coming out i find myself angry that he was out partying while i was hear missing him like crazy. He did NOTHING wrong while he was gone, and i know that. But i just cant help feeling a little angry about all the holidays and birthday and huge events in my life that were missed. I dont want to feel this way, and DB does not deserve it. I just dont know how to get past this point. Any suggestions?? Any one else feeling the same way??

[theatretech11]

It's normal to be upset that he missed things in your life. My Dad missed Christmas and birthdays and Easter and things like that as my Fiancee is going to miss our first Christmas as husband and wife. But you just have to remember they didn't do it to you or to hurt you they did it because SOMEONE has to do their job or else we might not have those holidays for them to miss. Just explain to him how you feel. It might help.

[LoLo]

its hard,and it sucks that they miss so much in our lives and our families lives..but just let him know how you feel and where you are coming from..and im sure you will feel better..

[crybeautiful]

I haven't finished up a deployment yet, but it's coming up soon, and I would assume that those feelings are perfectly normal. But like I said, I haven't been through it yet, so I can't really speak from personal experience, just guessing.

[PeppermintRei]

It's normal to be angry and resentful after a deployment. You guys are still in the transition period. It doesn't just go away. You need to talk about it. Sit him down and explain this is how I'm feeling, I love you very much, bu I'm mixed up.

He's probably going through an emotional transition too. You two can do it together. Just be willing to give each other some slack for feeling normal emotions in regads to deployment.

[AbsolutelyAllison]

I've been feeling some of the same things. He talks about "going downtown with a bunch of the guys..." and I get pissy. I know it isn't fair, I know I should be happy he is able to have some fun in the middle of a rough situation, but I feel like sometimes I got the short end of the stick...
I guess we'll just have to work through it.
s

[tiffnoel18]

I kinda kno what ya mean.. Db is in NC and im in FL well i had to come back here after his homecoming.. and im back to school and work.. and he's havin all this fun goin to myrtle beach and stuff with his friends.. i wish i was havin fun wit him.. geez

[Mara Ray]

I know exactly how you are feeling sharon! It really sucks and I dont want to take it out on him but when I see all these pictures of all the fun times I cant help but think that I was here worried and waiting, not wanting to go out so I wouldnt miss a possible call and he was out partying it stinks but I guess its part of the adjustment we have to make to them being back again.

[Mara Ray]

Originally Posted by tiffnoel18 I kinda kno what ya mean.. Db is in NC and im in FL well i had to come back here after his homecoming.. and im back to school and work.. and he's havin all this fun goin to myrtle beach and stuff with his friends.. i wish i was havin fun wit him.. geez

yup I had 5 days with him and now he is home with his friends and family and I get upset when he doesnt answer the phone or call me. I am back at school as stressed as ever and he doesnt have a worry in the world

[withyounear]

I think it pretty normal and can go both ways. DH and I have been finding we are still having some resentment torward eachother(six months later).
Most of it has to do with our daughter though and I found most of it isn't from while he was deployment but when he got back and takes us forgranted. Like for instance he was deployed her first bday and made such a huge deal out of missing it then decided to get drunk and slept through half her 2nd bday party. things like that. His is coming from the other way. "You were there for everything I had to miss out on. You have an amazing bond with her I want that I want that so bad and I know I we will have been but it will never be like yours" I know it's not really the same but I just wanted you to know you are alone and it does happen and if you ever want someone to talk to about it feel free to pm me but as others have said you are going through a transition stage and just give it some time. I think the most important thing is you are open and honest about what you are feeling and work through it together.