How do I.... - Post Deployment

Rockellexo · 01-20-2009, 01:13 PM

Get him to see he isn't the only one feeling the way he is??

He has only been home a few weeks. We have had the typical readjustment issues. Including him breaking up with me... Like today.

.

He is beating himself up because he feels so awful about everything. I told him lots of people go through the same thing, but he thinks I'm just trying to make him feel better.

We talked to someone at the VA last week. She seemed to help a lot, he has an appointment for tomorrow, but I'm almost positive he has no intention of going.

At this point all I can do is give him his time and space. He can't be helped unless he truly wants it. I just wish I could get him to see its okay to have all these weird feelings and emotions.

Any advice would be appreciated!

BJo · 01-20-2009, 01:24 PM

Like I said before, he's only been home for a few weeks. There is no quick fix. You need to be patient.

Peppo · 01-20-2009, 01:31 PM

I'd say that you just need to be patient with him... Things wont fix themselves immediately.

Amber · 01-20-2009, 01:41 PM

after navy deployments, they say if your relationship is still having trouble "readjusting" after 6 weeks, then you should seek help. i don't know what it is for military deployed to iraq or afghanistan though. give it time, he will come around.

LoveKiss · 01-20-2009, 01:42 PM

Patience is definitely in order, on both sides. Does he keep in touch with any of his battle buddies. Hearing them talk about their adjustment issues may be helpful, especially if they have had to re-adjust repeatedly.

01-20-2009, 01:13 PM	#1 (permalink)
Rockellexo Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 1,656 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 32%	How do I.... Get him to see he isn't the only one feeling the way he is?? He has only been home a few weeks. We have had the typical readjustment issues. Including him breaking up with me... Like today. . He is beating himself up because he feels so awful about everything. I told him lots of people go through the same thing, but he thinks I'm just trying to make him feel better. We talked to someone at the VA last week. She seemed to help a lot, he has an appointment for tomorrow, but I'm almost positive he has no intention of going. At this point all I can do is give him his time and space. He can't be helped unless he truly wants it. I just wish I could get him to see its okay to have all these weird feelings and emotions. Any advice would be appreciated! __________________ TRISHY0815 is my hero,wifey & BFF

01-20-2009, 01:31 PM	#3 (permalink)
Peppo Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Me: San Francisco, CA Posts: 2,326 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 18%	I'd say that you just need to be patient with him... Things wont fix themselves immediately. __________________

01-20-2009, 01:41 PM	#4 (permalink)
Amber deadliest catch without the crabs. Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: we are in va beach. Posts: 15,192 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (2) Activity: 92% Longevity: 24%	after navy deployments, they say if your relationship is still having trouble "readjusting" after 6 weeks, then you should seek help. i don't know what it is for military deployed to iraq or afghanistan though. give it time, he will come around. __________________

01-20-2009, 01:42 PM	#5 (permalink)
LoveKiss Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die today Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Maryland Posts: 8,942 Blog Entries: 11 Classifieds: (1) Activity: 71% Longevity: 28%	Patience is definitely in order, on both sides. Does he keep in touch with any of his battle buddies. Hearing them talk about their adjustment issues may be helpful, especially if they have had to re-adjust repeatedly. __________________ MSOS wifey love makes the world go round.

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01-20-2009, 01:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
BJo Account Closed Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Your mom Posts: 25,363 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 13% Longevity: 39%	Like I said before, he's only been home for a few weeks. There is no quick fix. You need to be patient.