So many changes and mixture of feelings post deployment - Post Deployment

MmySuperSoldier · 01-15-2009, 02:27 AM

I am unsure of why exactly I am writing this post, I think mostly because I feel numb to my husband being back. Is that awkward? He has been home for a little over a week and I am the only one he has seen. Well by that I mean I am the only family he has seen since he has been back, he hasn't seen any of his friends or other family members.

He wants me to go with him to our hometown, so he can see his family and friends. Part of me doesn't want to go, I want to let him have his own time with them, is that wrong of me?

It is not that I don't want to go, it is more so I am honestly not use to having him around. I have been really emotional lately and I read to much into his thoughts, but at times I feel like we have grown apart in some ways. I just feel numb to certain things he does, but at the same time I feel hurt at some of the comment he makes and he takes that as maybe there is something wrong with me and the way I think.

I guess what I am trying to get at is, is it normal to feel awkward about his getting us to one another again? I have grown into a different person, not completely of course, but certain things he does that use to get to me, now don't. I am more relaxed and comfortable with him and myself. But at the same time I am uncomfortable with my weight and I think that is really getting to me because I am a bit insecure of my weight and my mind starts thinking about my husband wanting a thinner, prettier women, one that he has more in common with. I know that might sound really odd, but I just want things to be normal and certain parts of me to just be secure with the way we are.

Sorry this is so long and all over the place.

jessi01 · 01-15-2009, 10:26 AM

I don't think feeling awkward is odd at all. You guys have been apart for a very long time and probably have grown apart in some ways. It takes time to get to know each other again and feel comfortable. I would just give it a little more time since he's only been home a week and then if you are still feeling awkward, maybe the two of you can talk to a chaplain together.

lovinlaughter · 01-16-2009, 11:46 PM

It's normal to feel awkward for a while. It will take time to sort of get to know each other again, get used to seeing each other, and get used to being a couple again after so long. You both change and grow in different ways and you each have to see how each other have changed. Hang in there, it will get easier. It just takes time, but just know that you're not alone and it's perfectly normal.

01-15-2009, 02:27 AM	#1 (permalink)
MmySuperSoldier HE IS HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 798 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 20%	So many changes and mixture of feelings post deployment I am unsure of why exactly I am writing this post, I think mostly because I feel numb to my husband being back. Is that awkward? He has been home for a little over a week and I am the only one he has seen. Well by that I mean I am the only family he has seen since he has been back, he hasn't seen any of his friends or other family members. He wants me to go with him to our hometown, so he can see his family and friends. Part of me doesn't want to go, I want to let him have his own time with them, is that wrong of me? It is not that I don't want to go, it is more so I am honestly not use to having him around. I have been really emotional lately and I read to much into his thoughts, but at times I feel like we have grown apart in some ways. I just feel numb to certain things he does, but at the same time I feel hurt at some of the comment he makes and he takes that as maybe there is something wrong with me and the way I think. I guess what I am trying to get at is, is it normal to feel awkward about his getting us to one another again? I have grown into a different person, not completely of course, but certain things he does that use to get to me, now don't. I am more relaxed and comfortable with him and myself. But at the same time I am uncomfortable with my weight and I think that is really getting to me because I am a bit insecure of my weight and my mind starts thinking about my husband wanting a thinner, prettier women, one that he has more in common with. I know that might sound really odd, but I just want things to be normal and certain parts of me to just be secure with the way we are. Sorry this is so long and all over the place.

01-15-2009, 10:26 AM	#2 (permalink)
jessi01 In my own little crazy world . . it's ok, they know me here. Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 3,325 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 25% Longevity: 16%	I don't think feeling awkward is odd at all. You guys have been apart for a very long time and probably have grown apart in some ways. It takes time to get to know each other again and feel comfortable. I would just give it a little more time since he's only been home a week and then if you are still feeling awkward, maybe the two of you can talk to a chaplain together. __________________ The greatness of a nation and it's moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated ~ Gandhi www.frenchbulldogrescue.org

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01-16-2009, 11:46 PM	#3 (permalink)
lovinlaughter Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Southern California Posts: 1,014 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 52% Longevity: 14%	It's normal to feel awkward for a while. It will take time to sort of get to know each other again, get used to seeing each other, and get used to being a couple again after so long. You both change and grow in different ways and you each have to see how each other have changed. Hang in there, it will get easier. It just takes time, but just know that you're not alone and it's perfectly normal.