Post Deployment Status Update

[afredric]

Where is everyone at in their lives since your SO returned home?
How do you feel about yourself and the relationship?
If you could go back in time to the beginning of deployment and tell yourself anything-- what would it be?
Or what would you have done different?

[jessi01]

Well, I'm here in PA and he's in VA at Ft Eustis and things are at a stand still. We're separated and I'm not sure what's going to happen yet. He hasn't mentioned divorce in a couple months, but then again we're not talking. Things got pretty nasty so I took a step back and we did have a couple "nice" as in civil emails yesterday. He thanked me for being nice? I'm just going to try to move on by myself for now and find some peace. For some reason after all of the things he's done to me I still am holding out hope that things will work out. Right now I'm not feeling too optimistic about our relationship b/c it's pretty non-existent. There are a lot of things I woud've done differently. I wouldn't have responded to his anger with anger. I wouldn't have let myself become a pitiful doormat when he was cruel. I would've created a more peaceful environment for him when he first came home and tried to spot the early warning signs that something was really wrong. Hindsight is a *****. I could sit and think all day about the should haves and what ifs, but it's not going to do me any good I wish I would've found this site before he left for deployment so I could've had some support from other people in the same situation as myself. I knew no one in a military family back then.

[withyounear]

Originally Posted by afredric Where is everyone at in their lives since your SO returned home? How do you feel about yourself and the relationship? If you could go back in time to the beginning of deployment and tell yourself anything-- what would it be? Or what would you have done different?

DH has been back since sept.Things are still a struggle. Finally got past the not sleeping at night in fear that he wouldn't be there when I woke up. His schedual is pretty demanding and I think i just expect to much now that he is home. He wakes up at 430-5 am to go to PT then works till 5, Pt again. then home by 7 which is an hour before dd goes to bed. He is so exhuasted by the time he gets home that he just wants to sleep or sit around and play xbox live and then we fight cause he is feeling guilty about missing out on time with dd and time with me.

We finally got a much needed winter break and the three of us had a pretty nice holiday together.

it's still quite the change from feeling like i could do anything while he was deployed to not wanting to go anywhere without him. Uh as I'm sure you can guess he has been dealing with being home better then i have. It's like he never really came home or maybe i was never really here. but we are working through our differences and making tihngs work. How about you? hope your time has been better then mine.

this is our second deployment by the way don't remember it being like this th first one. maybe it's cause we have dd now.

I'll have to get back to you on something i wish i told myself at the begining of this deployment.