please help me... - Post Deployment

futureMrsD · 12-09-2008, 11:52 PM

My fiance has been home from iraq now for almost 2 weeks. We have yet to have sex and he seems to avoid me like the plague. We've talked about it and he says he just has no sex drive at all and that its not me. Is this normal or has this happened to anyone else?? Even though I've lost 20 lbs since he's last seen me I feel so unattractive and inadequate... I'm trying to be understanding but its so hard... anyone have any advice I'd love to hear it. I don't know what to do

BJo · 12-09-2008, 11:55 PM

You need to remember that he is adjusting to the civilian world. He got used to being in a combat zone. This could just be the side effect of that. Post-deployment is a rough time. Be patient.

LoveDisappears · 12-10-2008, 07:45 AM

Originally Posted by BrittanyJo

You need to remember that he is adjusting to the civilian world. He got used to being in a combat zone. This could just be the side effect of that. Post-deployment is a rough time. Be patient.

It's very normal, I'm sure he'll get back into the swing of things.

kanurs · 12-10-2008, 07:48 AM

I know it can be hard with any adjustment period but he has gone through a huge change and his head might not be back to wear he can get intimate yet. Try not to push, even though you may want it so bad (understandably so haha) and let him get into a comfort zone again. Hugs

Air Force Honey · 12-10-2008, 08:25 AM

Originally Posted by kanurs

I know it can be hard with any adjustment period but he has gone through a huge change and his head might not be back to wear he can get intimate yet. Try not to push, even though you may want it so bad (understandably so haha) and let him get into a comfort zone again. Hugs

I am sorry...i dont have any experience with this... my DB will be home in a few days and he talks about sex 24/7 now, but he wasnt in the combat zone...have you tried putting on something sexy and teasing him a little?

futureMrsD · 12-10-2008, 09:59 PM

I've tried everything it seems like.... I mean I even worked my ass off to lose weight while he was gone and its like he doesn't notice.... I guess like you say it will take time. This is all new to me so I'm very thankful I have a site like this

Josh'sBug1228 · 12-11-2008, 03:47 PM

Yeah, I am new to this too. When DF came home from AIT he didn't want anything to do with me for a couple weeks. Then something just clicked and he was normal again. I will take time. He is in there, he just needs to find his civilian side again.

*Mackenzie* · 12-11-2008, 03:50 PM

it takes time, and some more time for him to get back to "normal"

12-09-2008, 11:52 PM	#1 (permalink)
futureMrsD Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 2 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 16%	please help me... My fiance has been home from iraq now for almost 2 weeks. We have yet to have sex and he seems to avoid me like the plague. We've talked about it and he says he just has no sex drive at all and that its not me. Is this normal or has this happened to anyone else?? Even though I've lost 20 lbs since he's last seen me I feel so unattractive and inadequate... I'm trying to be understanding but its so hard... anyone have any advice I'd love to hear it. I don't know what to do

12-10-2008, 07:48 AM	#4 (permalink)
kanurs MilitarySOS Jewel Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: me - CT, Him - Iraq Posts: 2,143 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 21%	I know it can be hard with any adjustment period but he has gone through a huge change and his head might not be back to wear he can get intimate yet. Try not to push, even though you may want it so bad (understandably so haha) and let him get into a comfort zone again. Hugs __________________ Missing Him We're both in "a" desert on a mission

12-11-2008, 03:47 PM	#7 (permalink)
Josh'sBug1228 It's a love story baby just say yes! Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Missouri Posts: 464 Blog Entries: 5 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 17%	Yeah, I am new to this too. When DF came home from AIT he didn't want anything to do with me for a couple weeks. Then something just clicked and he was normal again. I will take time. He is in there, he just needs to find his civilian side again. __________________ I my wifey Marie2419!

12-11-2008, 03:50 PM	#8 (permalink)
Mackenzie Hoping for team pink! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Laughlin AFB, Del Rio, Texas. Posts: 2,496 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (1) Activity: 64% Longevity: 30%	it takes time, and some more time for him to get back to "normal" __________________ I my wifey Sandykay

About Us

MilitarySOS Shortcuts

MilitarySOS Help

About MilitarySOS

12-09-2008, 11:55 PM	#2 (permalink)
BJo Account Closed Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Your mom Posts: 25,363 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 13% Longevity: 39%	You need to remember that he is adjusting to the civilian world. He got used to being in a combat zone. This could just be the side effect of that. Post-deployment is a rough time. Be patient.

12-10-2008, 09:59 PM	#6 (permalink)
futureMrsD Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 2 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 16%	I've tried everything it seems like.... I mean I even worked my ass off to lose weight while he was gone and its like he doesn't notice.... I guess like you say it will take time. This is all new to me so I'm very thankful I have a site like this