Here is my story...(kind of long)

[stephie]

READ POST #31 TO BE UPDATED WITH THE LATEST...men, they all lie, IM convo...November 11th
READ POST #19 TO BE UPDATED....lunch today November 9th...

Ok so first off some people probably will not care about this, but for those of you that asked and wanted to know what happened...here it is....

A little back story...we met as Freshman in high school dated for 10 days I was the only girl to break up with him and yet we continued to be friends, lost touch here and there and there...all the while a crush lingered but either one of us was taken and the other single or both taken at the same time, just never worked out...so about a month before he left he just happened to be in town and well we hit it off like old times and decided we would be a couple still even with him leaving...and from the beginning I told him that I knew this would be one of the hardest things for both of us to go through but that no matter how long I would wait...now here is what is going on now...(and yet another thing I normally would not do, but I think you need to know exactly what was said to understand it all...)
My DB has always been better with writing things down(even if not always gramatically correct) than saying things so this was the email I received...

ok check it out...idk if we should be together....i have been thinking about this for weeks almost months....after being in iraq i realized that my mind set isnt the same as when i left...i really dont know what my deal is and whats wrong with me...i think i rushed into dating u cause i couldnt have u before...and i made a mistake i should have just been friends till i got home and maybe things could be different.....i know i still have strong feelins for u and that wont change...but i just think for the time being i need to be alone for a while...i saw a different side of myself while i was gone and i think that i need and want to get my **** together and doing that i dont think i can do it while having a gf...specaily u...ur to good to me and if i do things that i want to do it wouldnt be fair to u.....the reason im telling u this in a email is cause im not good at words in person...im a better writer then anything and one of the better ways i get what i think out is to write them...i just talk stupid and to fast and get nerves.....if u would like to be friends with me after this i would like to...and if u dont want to i also understand....i dont like how this all played out....its kinda ****ty.....i dont want u to think i used u while i was in iraq....cause that wasnt the case i really did love u....i just want u to be happy and i cant put all of me into this right now....it wouldnt be fair to either of us....

again not the best writing but you get the point...as I knew this email was coming because I had caught him on Gmail talk right as he was typing it, he said that I would probably be calling him shortly after reading that, and so I did...we got to talk a little bit on the phone about everything...the basic just of the conversation was that I know he is confused and well he and I were friends before so now we will be friends again...obviously i was beating myself up for maybe pushing him too soon, or for some moments being like his ex(who was PSYCHOTIC) but this is what he had to say about that...

Stephanie I love you and still care about you, just right now I finally need to be about me...Everything I have done before has been about/for my girlfriends and never about me, so right now I need to take care of me and get some things done for me... You were the ONLY reason I made it through this deployment, you were my rock and you made me realize I could do anything I wanted too, all because you have such a good head on your shoulders...I cannot be there for you like you deserve and because I love you I need to let you go...For a while I need to work on me...

While that hurts to hear that it still makes me feel good that finally I was able to get through to him that he CAN do the things he wants too...

And while I know people will think I am totally crazy for this, I feel like he already has my heart and that he truly is the one for me...He was the one that I pushed away while he kept trying and now this...everything happens for the right reasons and people that keep coming back into your life are there for a reason, so now it is just about figuring out why...

I all of you ladies so much and know that I could have never made it through everything without all of your stories of inspiration, heartache and laughs...Now I hope that I can continue to be a part of your community still seeing that I currently have a good friend that is a Marine...


For those reading this I know this is best for now, promise you that and I want to emphasize that I am going to continue being patient, right now what he needs is a friend and later on we will see what happens...still love him and care for him, just holding that back to the friendship stage for now... are just really appreciated...

[Am]

First off, I'll kick your if you don't keep coming here.

I'm so sorry, Love. He sounds like he just needs some space for right now. You know him better than we do and I'm praying this works out for you. I'm always here.

[MullerKris]

It seems like it may be for the best now. I hope things work out in the end!

[BJo]

I'm sorry sweetie. Give him space and time. I hope all of this gets worked out!

[Gunslinger]

Originally Posted by CarolinaHokie First off, I'll kick your if you don't keep coming here. I'm so sorry, Love. He sounds like he just needs some space for right now. You know him better than we do and I'm praying this works out for you. I'm always here.

You know where the four of us stand on this. We are ALWAYS here for you

(by 4 I mean, Me, Amber, Lindsay, and Zoe)

I mean 5 of us! I forgot Jill!!!! Eek!!!

[LindsayLou]

love you girly, we've already talked alot so I don't have much to post here but you know I'm always here!!! and thanks SO much for always being there for me!

[TallBlondie82]

Im so sorry Steph...that is quite a story...

what he said does make sense...I believe that if you give him what he needs you will reap the benefits in the end kwim?


I hope it all works out the way you want it to...I am always here to talk

[my.hero's.mrs]

Space and time sounds like exactly what he needs. And as long as you just stay in the distance but keep doing your own thing, he'll probably realize eventually that there is a small void in his life because you aren't in it everyday. I hope everything works out for the best no matter what the outcome is. We're here for you!

[Jeni14]

I'm sorry hon. I'm sure it's disappointing but it sounds like you have a good outlook on it. I hope things work out for the best!

[KaylaKLaF]

Originally Posted by torie. Space and time sounds like exactly what he needs. And as long as you just stay in the distance but keep doing your own thing, he'll probably realize eventually that there is a small void in his life because you aren't in it everyday. I hope everything works out for the best no matter what the outcome is. We're here for you!

I agree! Just give him what he's asking for and I'm sure it'll all work out!