so frustrated!!! - Post Deployment

almostdavis61207 · 10-25-2008, 02:21 PM

I'm so frustrated. I have felt like DF has been less into our relationship since he's been back from deployment. He's about to go to Ranger School and I understand it's easier to feel nothing then to hurt. But he won't even try. I brought this up to him today and he felt attacked and just tried to change the subject or make me laugh. I got so angry when he told me i just needed to run I hung up on him. Now, I know I shouldn't have handled myself that way, but I think I made things worse. He thinks I cry all the time- i don't- and I'm so emotional. I'm female!!! Hello!! He wants me to push aside what I'm feeling and just be happy. It doesn't work that way. Sure I can pretend I'm happy and live a fake cheery life, but I refuse. He told me its so much easier to be emotionless and not feel, especially when he's killing people overseas. But if his lack of emotions is going to come into our relationship what's going to happen?! he doesn't seem to understand.
Sorry it's long. Thanks for reading all that if you made it to this line. I just don't know what to do. He didn't answer my text or call after i hung up. I don't blame him. We live in different states so its not like we can get counseling right now or anything.

Reina · 10-25-2008, 02:24 PM

i think you should be a little more stronger for him even if its pretending. its hard to go through what hes going through im sure he doesnt want to call you and youre doing worse. i hope you guys can work something out especially through rough times.

blndqn9 · 10-25-2008, 07:20 PM

That sounds like what I'm going through right now. DB hates it when I cry and he thinks I should just be able to overcome it. Mind over matter he says. It's not that simple! It's hard to have a long distance relationship. I'm so sorry, I know how you feel. It is really frustrating. I wish I had some ideas to help, but I don't. If I did, I'd try them myself.

almostdavis61207 · 10-26-2008, 01:16 AM

Thanks, glad to know I'm not the only one.. I hope things get better for you too. Right now DF still doesn't want to talk to me. It's hard for me to understand why its so hard to just talk it out then stay mad about it for so long

I'm Boom · 10-26-2008, 01:20 AM

to both of you

MissingMyOnlyJoy · 10-27-2008, 01:18 AM

i'll cry with you hun.... sometimes you need to let it out before you explode... and after crying, you're going to feel a bit better. be strong hun... we're always here for you...

lezlie_09 · 10-27-2008, 01:27 AM

Originally Posted by BuBBleHeadWifE03

i think you should be a little more stronger for him even if its pretending. its hard to go through what hes going through im sure he doesnt want to call you and youre doing worse. i hope you guys can work something out especially through rough times.

I agree (I have to pretend alot of the time)

alexa_jones05 · 10-28-2008, 10:35 AM

WGs_Grrl · 10-28-2008, 10:39 AM

I feel sort of the same way. I'm not crying or bothering him much. But he's been back a week and we've talked a total of 2 hours and he still won't make plans to see me.

I think I'm close to walking...

BJo · 10-28-2008, 10:57 AM

I'm sorry sweetie. He is probably really stressed out preparing for RS.

10-25-2008, 02:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
almostdavis61207 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: me- Tulsa, OK him- Ft. Benning, GA Posts: 457 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 2% Longevity: 41%	so frustrated!!! I'm so frustrated. I have felt like DF has been less into our relationship since he's been back from deployment. He's about to go to Ranger School and I understand it's easier to feel nothing then to hurt. But he won't even try. I brought this up to him today and he felt attacked and just tried to change the subject or make me laugh. I got so angry when he told me i just needed to run I hung up on him. Now, I know I shouldn't have handled myself that way, but I think I made things worse. He thinks I cry all the time- i don't- and I'm so emotional. I'm female!!! Hello!! He wants me to push aside what I'm feeling and just be happy. It doesn't work that way. Sure I can pretend I'm happy and live a fake cheery life, but I refuse. He told me its so much easier to be emotionless and not feel, especially when he's killing people overseas. But if his lack of emotions is going to come into our relationship what's going to happen?! he doesn't seem to understand. Sorry it's long. Thanks for reading all that if you made it to this line. I just don't know what to do. He didn't answer my text or call after i hung up. I don't blame him. We live in different states so its not like we can get counseling right now or anything. __________________

10-25-2008, 02:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
Reina Formerly BuBBleHeadWifE03!!! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Hawaii!! =] Posts: 4,808 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 29%	i think you should be a little more stronger for him even if its pretending. its hard to go through what hes going through im sure he doesnt want to call you and youre doing worse. i hope you guys can work something out especially through rough times. __________________ I Love my boys

10-25-2008, 07:20 PM	#3 (permalink)
blndqn9 Married and loving it! Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Fort Lewis, WA Posts: 126 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 6% Longevity: 23%	That sounds like what I'm going through right now. DB hates it when I cry and he thinks I should just be able to overcome it. Mind over matter he says. It's not that simple! It's hard to have a long distance relationship. I'm so sorry, I know how you feel. It is really frustrating. I wish I had some ideas to help, but I don't. If I did, I'd try them myself. __________________ Surviving our First Deployment. Tough times never last, but tough people do!

10-26-2008, 01:16 AM	#4 (permalink)
almostdavis61207 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: me- Tulsa, OK him- Ft. Benning, GA Posts: 457 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 2% Longevity: 41%	Thanks, glad to know I'm not the only one.. I hope things get better for you too. Right now DF still doesn't want to talk to me. It's hard for me to understand why its so hard to just talk it out then stay mad about it for so long __________________

10-27-2008, 01:18 AM	#6 (permalink)
MissingMyOnlyJoy Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: DF: SC, Me: P.I. Posts: 776 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 35%	i'll cry with you hun.... sometimes you need to let it out before you explode... and after crying, you're going to feel a bit better. be strong hun... we're always here for you... __________________ wifey to PURPLEKITTIE SAILORSGIRL8590 SOLDIERANGEL07

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10-26-2008, 01:20 AM	#5 (permalink)
I'm Boom Account Closed Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3,303 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 21% Longevity: 18%	to both of you

10-28-2008, 10:35 AM	#8 (permalink)
alexa_jones05 IT'S NANERPUS! Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Pope AFB Posts: 723 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 17% Longevity: 53%	__________________

10-28-2008, 10:39 AM	#9 (permalink)
WGs_Grrl My Life is My Own Again! YAY!! Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: NoVA/He's on a boat right now, but stationed in Japan Posts: 2,649 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 27%	I feel sort of the same way. I'm not crying or bothering him much. But he's been back a week and we've talked a total of 2 hours and he still won't make plans to see me. I think I'm close to walking... __________________

10-28-2008, 10:57 AM	#10 (permalink)
BJo Account Closed Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Your mom Posts: 25,363 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 10% Longevity: 40%	I'm sorry sweetie. He is probably really stressed out preparing for RS.