Help? Advice? Military Homecoming letdown/issues

[Tif]

My boyfriend came back from deployment less that 2 weeks ago. The first 3-4 days were awesome. Then...I don't know what happened but he put up this big wall, closed himself up in a box and seemed to just shut off all feelings! He tells me he is uncomfortable with everything from his old job back on base, me, the house, driving, going anywhere, eating out, going to the mall, working out, doing anything, etc.... This is whether I am home or not. He's just uncomfortable and doesn't know why.

I know this is somewhat normal and many of our soldiers go through this. But he blew me away last night when he said he'd asked to be immediately deployed again. Says that being deployed is the only way he is comfortable. They turned him down because he already has orders for his next duty station. All he could talk about when he was deployed was how much it sucked and and couldn't wait to be home.

So bottom line is that the boyfriend that I was so close with (we've never even had a fight) came home a very distant buddy! The more I try to make him comfortable again the farther away he gets. S0 I back off and give him space which he says makes him more uncomfortable.
And to make matter worse (I know we've all discussed this on other posts) I couldn't hold back and told him after 14 months that I loved him....that freaked him out!!

The homecoming I was looking forward to for 6 months has turned into the biggest hearbreak I've ever had!!

Thoughts? Idea? Help? Any advice? I would be very grateful!!

[moonlit-eyes]

*bump* Can someone who has been through this give more insight?

[nsthayer]

Sorry to hear you are going through this. My husband just went on his first deployment so I have never had to deal with anything like this. In some of the packets they give tips on how to adjust back home after a deployment.

Has he seen anyone like mental health or some type of professional to see if they can help him through feeling uncomfortable? Maybe would good for him to see someone by himself so maybe he can open up more and also maybe would be good if you 2 could see someone together as a couple also.

I know that I would leave it to a professional since im sure they have a lot of experience with feelings like that. I wish you luck. You can Pm me if you just need someone to talk to. Sorry probably not much help but thought I should try.

Nina

[jessi01]

I'm so sorry My husband came home and started acting like this, but he didn't start until 6 months after he got back. We're no longer speaking so I really can't give you advice besides maybe gently suggest he talk to someone and then give him some time. I'm here if you want to talk.

[BJo]

Is anyone seeing the start date of this thread? It's been 2 1/2 months.

[jessi01]

Originally Posted by BrittanyJo Is anyone seeing the start date of this thread? It's been 2 1/2 months.

Nope, I sure didn't see when it started . . duh. Thanks

[LoveDisappears]

Originally Posted by BrittanyJo Is anyone seeing the start date of this thread? It's been 2 1/2 months.

Yeah, and I can't believe no one responded to it, I feel so bad

[shamonag]

Sorry it's taken so long for someone to respond to you but if you give him more time to come around maybe it will work out.