this normal feeling when SO comes home???

[I_love_my_Sailor]

ok so for like the past month dh has been sending me secret messages of what kind of fun he wants to have the first night coming home from deployment



but the last few days i have been just the feeling of just wanting to cuddle

for those who have been through a couple deployments - did that happened to you? and were they understanding

[Christina]

i have a rule that the first night is no sex after we haven't seen each other in a while. i just need a day or so to get back into him after not having seen him for so long. it's almost like we're getting to know each other again, so for me it just doesn't feel right the first night.

he doesn't want to wait but he knows how i feel and he understands. it helps to have discussed it beforehand so he isn't expecting anything right away and can keep his mind off it (or at least TRY to). he knows i need us to spend a little time getting to know each other again first. it works for us.

[ImNoOliveOyl]

Pretty normal.. though when I first see him there's an immediate WANT to climb him, we usually get the "tension" out of the way ASAP and go from there... Things will be fine, I'm sure..

[PeppermintRei]

Sure it's normal. Whether he understands that or not, is another matter. Men have a tendency to focus on the night life as equal to love, but for women we need the touching and to be held.

My DH was very understanding about it. Have you talked to him about it at all? That cuddling before would be nice?

[PeppermintRei]

Originally Posted by MelissaMc424 Pretty normal.. though when I first see him there's an immediate WANT to climb him, we usually get the "tension" out of the way ASAP and go from there... Things will be fine, I'm sure..

Yea, I have to say, even though I want to cuddle, I really miss the "naughty time".

[ChiQV]

Originally Posted by thistooshallpass i have a rule that the first night is no sex after we haven't seen each other in a while. i just need a day or so to get back into him after not having seen him for so long. it's almost like we're getting to know each other again, so for me it just doesn't feel right the first night. he doesn't want to wait but he knows how i feel and he understands. it helps to have discussed it beforehand so he isn't expecting anything right away and can keep his mind off it (or at least TRY to). he knows i need us to spend a little time getting to know each other again first. it works for us.

I really like this idea... don't know why I haven't thought of it before..? lol

[ChiQV]

I know it's nothing compared to a deployment, but when DH & I were together for the first time after his boot camp training.. I felt like I didn't know him anymore... yet I loved him so much... hm, there was a stupid tension where I wanted to do it real bad yet I didn't want to do it with a "stranger". Anyways, when it came time to "put out" that night, I told him I wasn't ready and he was very understanding about it all...

HAHAHA! BUT HE STILL WANTED TO GET IT ON! LOL what's a girl to do? I totally suggest making him cuddle first... or start with talking + cuddling. LOL, but what do I know... I have a feeling ima be the same way as I_love_my_Sailor when my DH comes back from his first deployment.

[Daniyelle]

Well our first two deployment were before my son was born, so we could hardly get in the door before we were tearing each other's clothes off. This time will be different, since we have a 4 yr old now. We'll see how it goes.

[erickson007]

Originally Posted by thistooshallpass i have a rule that the first night is no sex after we haven't seen each other in a while. i just need a day or so to get back into him after not having seen him for so long. it's almost like we're getting to know each other again, so for me it just doesn't feel right the first night. he doesn't want to wait but he knows how i feel and he understands. it helps to have discussed it beforehand so he isn't expecting anything right away and can keep his mind off it (or at least TRY to). he knows i need us to spend a little time getting to know each other again first. it works for us.

we have the same kinda thing goin, we just need to get comfy with each other for the first night!

[Sid's Girl]

His first deployment, I was scared as **** that he would charge through the door like a raging bull and that would be that. I was feeling like a virgin again, was worried about his expectations, about trying to have the perfect moment, of changes with him and I. Everything, I was completely spazzed about it. So I told him, plain and simple, in the weeks leading to him coming home. Said I was nervous and I needed time, to please don't come in here like that's the only thing that matters. We need time to personally reconnect. He was really great about it, and yes, we did it right away, but it was sweet, not some slam bam, rough adn tumble affair. Talk it out. Second and third deployments, when he came home on leave, I was just horny, not nervous, LOL.