I feel bad that I'm not upset...

[my.hero's.mrs]

I'm posting this after Zoe encouraged me to because I just need to hear that it's normal to feel this way and it's not a big deal.

I'm feeling kind of guilty. Not an immense amount of guilt, but enough. I go back to California next week. I have lots of great things lined up to accomplish: trip to Alaska, wedding planning, getting a job, Halloween, the holidays and then doing everything I can to see DF at Christmas.

I thought I'd be a basket case right now. I was sobbing when I booked the plane ticket a month ago. I've cried a couple of times at night when we were falling asleep, but I find myself so eager for my travel date to just get here. I'd rather just get the distance started and over with. I feel bad that I'm not walking around moping about and crying every hour. Instead, I just get so excited thinking about seeing my other fur baby (even though Misty is so flippin' cute!) and my family.

So can I just get some reassurance from you ladies?

[gottli10]

I think it TOTALLY normal and probably healthy that you're looking forward to getting back. As a military SO, I think we get used to the "It's a bandaid, and you just need to quickly rip it off". I HATE having to dwell on things that I'm anticipating like for example seeing my DH and then not seeing him for a couple months (I'm in the same boat as you Torie ). So, I actually think you're handling it well and it's totally ok that you're not crawling into a hole because you're so upset. Living away from our SO's, we've gotten used to the fact that we'll see them for a short period and then be away for a while. Don't feel bad at all that you're not more upset. I think you have a great mindset and stay excited about all your upcoming trips, job and planning!!

[Holly M.]

Its very normal. Don't worry it hits us all in diff ways and at diff times ya know. The fact that you have so much to do while he is gone is going to help the time fly by

[Amber]

i don't think you should feel bad. i don't know that i would.

[LoveKiss]

Pumpkin, I am soo glad that you aren't a basket case. This is a good thing, a healthy thing in fact. It tells me that you are 100% sure that you guys can handle this. No fear, no worries. You are confident in your strength as individuals and as a couple, and you are keeping a bright outlook on things. These are good things, not things to feel guilty about.

[=Mrs.AiNokeA=]

Oh of course that's normal sweetie. I know I get that way when it gets close to the time DH deploys. I feel ok and then a month or so later it hits a bit and I start crying then I'm ok again. Everyone is different and you feeling like you do isn't wrong at all. You have a lot to keep you busy and too look forward to when you leave. I would be a bit excited about leaving too if I got to go to alaska!

[Zoe]

Like i said TOTALLY TOTALLY HEALTHY!!!!

Torie you have been through the absolute ringer to get where you are!! ever since you arrived in Germany, the opposite side of the world to where your comfort zone is you have coped with PTSD, TBI, 2 engagements, planning a wedding and being alone (even when justin was there -cause of his work and school) .

you have done nothing but support him, be there for him, and comfort him and its been tough! youv'e had to compete with work, school, and his friends and again all on your own!!!

you shouldn't feel bad about going home cause you are doing this for both of you! when you came over to Germany you entered his world and his life that he had already settled into.

this time you know at the end of this small time apart, you will have the wedding of your dreams and you will be both in exactly the same place and ready to start a new chapter together in Italy!!!

Your not crying and moping cause you know this is means to an end and at the end of this you will be a very happy MRS JUSTIN!!!!!!!!!

I personally think you are an amazing girlfriend, a brilliant fiancee and have no doubt you will make the perfect wife!!

Torie, i aspire to be like you!!!!!!

[BJo]

He can't be the only thing in this world that provides you with happiness.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being excited to see those who provide you with security and happiness. Never feel guilty for that. You have new adventures ahead of you and that is a wonderful thing.

[my.hero's.mrs]

Originally Posted by Zoe Like i said TOTALLY TOTALLY HEALTHY!!!! Torie you have been through the absolute ringer to get where you are!! ever since you arrived in Germany, the opposite side of the world to where your comfort zone is you have coped with PTSD, TBI, 2 engagements, planning a wedding and being alone (even when justin was there -cause of his work and school) . you have done nothing but support him, be there for him, and comfort him and its been tough! youv'e had to compete with work, school, and his friends and again all on your own!!! you shouldn't feel bad about going home cause you are doing this for both of you! when you came over to Germany you entered his world and his life that he had already settled into. this time you know at the end of this small time apart, you will have the wedding of your dreams and you will be both in exactly the same place and ready to start a new chapter together in Italy!!! Your not crying and moping cause you know this is means to an end and at the end of this you will be a very happy MRS JUSTIN!!!!!!!!! I personally think you are an amazing girlfriend, a brilliant fiancee and have no doubt you will make the perfect wife!! Torie, i aspire to be like you!!!!!!

Well... I *WASN'T* crying.
Thanks Zoe! I wasn't expecting an answer like that at all. I guess I really don't give myself enough credit because when I think about all of the things that I gave up to come to Germany, I just say to myself, "duh...doesn't that just go without saying?" I guess it depends on who you are and where you are in your life.

Thank you too all. I know I shouldn't feel guilty and J tells me that he's glad I don't feel guilty, but I needed the reassurance to make sure I'm in check, I suppose.

[Zoe]

Originally Posted by torie. Well... I *WASN'T* crying. Thanks Zoe! I wasn't expecting an answer like that at all. I guess I really don't give myself enough credit because when I think about all of the things that I gave up to come to Germany, I just say to myself, "duh...doesn't that just go without saying?" I guess it depends on who you are and where you are in your life. Thank you too all. I know I shouldn't feel guilty and J tells me that he's glad I don't feel guilty, but I needed the reassurance to make sure I'm in check, I suppose.

sorry honey .....but im just telling it like it is!!!!!

your friggin awesome and im so glad i get to call you a friend!!!!!!