Proud to be Texan Ladies.. - Posses, Clubs & Cliques

ImNoOliveOyl · 02-26-2008, 10:23 AM

Thought y'all might enjoy this...

Rules of Texas:
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Picante Sauce!! Oh, yeah, we don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat. IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred in San Antonio and real chili never met a bean!

12. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

15. Colleges? Try Texas Tech, Texas A&M or University of Texas They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.

16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, than any other state, so 'Don't Mess with Texas .' If you do, you will get whupped by the best.

17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said: ' Texas can make it without the United States , but the United States can't make it without Texas !'

Texas is the greatest state ever!!

fridaynightgirl · 02-26-2008, 11:51 AM

Those are AWESOME! I love the one about the water hazards... spooks the fish, indeed!

harrisonsdream · 02-26-2008, 11:55 AM

i love that

leanne · 02-26-2008, 11:55 AM

rofl too funny ............... i attend university of texas at san antonio lol ! i love the waving and the sam houston quote too funny

leanne · 02-26-2008, 11:57 AM

oh one more thing you can add to this just for the san antonians lol many drunk people not from here have a hard time realizing that the river walk is not a side walk we filled with water lol its a river between two sidewalks lol you would be amazed how many people come out of the bar thinking the rain made the road or sidewalk flood and want to walk across it lol

missybee77 · 02-26-2008, 12:02 PM

i have only been here since november and i have gone from *****in to lovin it here already

where else can you BBQ all year round, own as many damn guns as you want and stand up for what you believe in without being afraid your not politically correct all the damn time...lol

~~sailorswife01~~ · 02-26-2008, 12:07 PM

those are great i love em

harrisonsdream · 02-26-2008, 12:09 PM

Originally Posted by leanne

oh one more thing you can add to this just for the san antonians lol many drunk people not from here have a hard time realizing that the river walk is not a side walk we filled with water lol its a river between two sidewalks lol you would be amazed how many people come out of the bar thinking the rain made the road or sidewalk flood and want to walk across it lol

i loved UTSA

trtnavywife · 02-26-2008, 12:51 PM

AWESOME!! Love it!!

I_Love_my_marine · 02-26-2008, 04:58 PM

So Cute. We got back to cali last week, the one about the opening door for women cracks me up. My husband went to open the door for a elderly woman on base and she freaked out and held her purse as close to her as possible. She was shocked when he stood there for her to walk through first. Man I totally forgot how different people are in Cali. A whole different breed I tell you what!

02-26-2008, 10:23 AM	#1 (permalink)
ImNoOliveOyl He's my popeye, but I'mnoOliveOyl! Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 33,653 Classifieds: (2) Activity: 0% Longevity: 64%	Proud to be Texan Ladies.. Thought y'all might enjoy this... Rules of Texas: 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot. 2. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way. 3. They are cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one. 4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year. 5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept. 6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time. 7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop. 8. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. 9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age. 10. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey. 11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Picante Sauce!! Oh, yeah, we don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat. IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred in San Antonio and real chili never met a bean! 12. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair. 13. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch. 14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish. 15. Colleges? Try Texas Tech, Texas A&M or University of Texas They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays. 16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, than any other state, so 'Don't Mess with Texas .' If you do, you will get whupped by the best. 17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said: ' Texas can make it without the United States , but the United States can't make it without Texas !' Texas is the greatest state ever!! __________________ Well, I'm what I am and I'm what I'm not and I'm sure happy with what I’ve got I live to love and laugh alot and that’s all I need

02-26-2008, 11:51 AM	#2 (permalink)
fridaynightgirl Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Temple, Texas Posts: 2,146 Blog Entries: 2 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 52%	Those are AWESOME! I love the one about the water hazards... spooks the fish, indeed! __________________

02-26-2008, 11:55 AM	#4 (permalink)
leanne Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: san antonio texas Posts: 4,537 Blog Entries: 7 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 13% Longevity: 35%	rofl too funny ............... i attend university of texas at san antonio lol ! i love the waving and the sam houston quote too funny __________________ [url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]

02-26-2008, 11:57 AM	#5 (permalink)
leanne Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: san antonio texas Posts: 4,537 Blog Entries: 7 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 13% Longevity: 35%	oh one more thing you can add to this just for the san antonians lol many drunk people not from here have a hard time realizing that the river walk is not a side walk we filled with water lol its a river between two sidewalks lol you would be amazed how many people come out of the bar thinking the rain made the road or sidewalk flood and want to walk across it lol __________________ [url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]

02-26-2008, 12:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
missybee77 Happily ever after, no matter what Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: The Great NW (Ft Lewis) Posts: 3,714 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 41%	i have only been here since november and i have gone from *****in to lovin it here already where else can you BBQ all year round, own as many damn guns as you want and stand up for what you believe in without being afraid your not politically correct all the damn time...lol __________________ Always Have Faith Proud Army Wife to Jay, Momma to Chelsey (13) Thomas (8) Jake (5) Expecting Aidan Christopher 5/21/10

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02-26-2008, 11:55 AM	#3 (permalink)
harrisonsdream Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 52,155 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 69%	i love that

02-26-2008, 12:07 PM	#7 (permalink)
~~sailorswife01~~ Banned Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 911 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 38%	those are great i love em

02-26-2008, 12:51 PM	#9 (permalink)
trtnavywife Christi Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Pearl Harbor, Hawaii Posts: 3,804 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 63%	AWESOME!! Love it!! __________________

02-26-2008, 04:58 PM	#10 (permalink)
I_Love_my_marine God is great, Beer is good and People are crazy... Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 5,018 Classifieds: (1) Activity: 12% Longevity: 59%	So Cute. We got back to cali last week, the one about the opening door for women cracks me up. My husband went to open the door for a elderly woman on base and she freaked out and held her purse as close to her as possible. She was shocked when he stood there for her to walk through first. Man I totally forgot how different people are in Cali. A whole different breed I tell you what!