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Thread: I am so crushed

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    #1

    I am so crushed

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    This is also the reason I haven't been around for a few days.

    On monday night, our dog died. He died during surgery.
    He started throwing up saturday morning and by saturday night we realized he needed help so we took him to an emergency animal hospital. They did some tests and said it was either pancreatitis or a blockage in his stomach or somewhere else in his intestinal tract from something he ate. He was on an IV from that time on.
    We went to visit him monday morning and he looked totally not like himself, so worn out and sad. The treatments weren't working and the vet suggested surgery but said we should wait a few hours to see if it was really necessary.

    So at about 7pm we talked to the vet again and he said Frankie needed surgery for sure. They let us in to look at him and he was oh god I will never get this image out of my mind he was so worn out and not moving and then right in front of us he threw up what looked like blood. His eyes were so devoid of any shred of hope. Right at that moment was the first time I realized there was a chance he wouldn't make it.

    They prepped him for surgery right then and we sat in the waiting room. Then the nurse called us in. The vet wanted to show us that his intestines were really blocked up and parts of it looked dead already and he said that it didn't look good. Even then I still held on to hope and the vet said he'd do what he could. A few minutes later he came out shaking his head and he said that Frankie had just stopped breathing.

    At that point I totally lost it and stated to cry hysterically. DH went in and talked to the vet but I don't remember anything other than the nurse giving me a bottle of water and then DH carrying Frankie's body and putting in the back seat and saying we needed to drive to my parents' house to bury him in the back yard (we live in an apartment). So we had this really long drive with our dead dog right there and I cried more than I have ever cried in my life. I saw DH cry too.

    The vet said Frankie must have swallowed something a week or two ago and it had been doing damage all this time. He didn't have any symptoms until saturday though. We still have no idea what it was. The vet took some of it out to show DH but they couldn't figure out what the hell it was. I feel so horribly guilty like I should have sensed that something was wrong long before. I feel like I killed him through my ignorance.

    I know all this may sound stupid to some people but Frankie was a member of our family, like our child. I work from home so I was with him almost all day, every day. He was with us for almost 4 years and he kept me company through a really bad illness and some of the toughest times of my life. Every single square inch of this apartment has memories of him. We had our daily routine and now it's all gone. The place seems so empty and I feel so horrible.
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    #2
    I am so sorry for your loss, I had a cocker spaniel and he ate a rawhide that tore his intestines. He died in my arms.
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    #3
    Oh hun, I am so sorry to hear that!! I understand what you mean about him being a part of family....that does not sound weird at all!! We are here for ya
  4. AheeOo, Killer Tofu!
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    #4
    Oh my God I'm so sorry....I know what it feels like to lose a pet i'm really sorry.....*hugs*
    You don't choose your family...they are God's gift to you
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    #5
    so sorry sweetie.
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    #6
    oh sweetie im so sorry to hear that. i know how dogs can be members of the family and when i was little one of our dogs that i was really close to got hit by a car and i did not take it well at all. i bawled my eyes out. so i know how you feel. it will take some time to get over and i dont think it sounds silly or anything. yes frankie was a part of your family or your child. you have all the right in the world to be sad. hang in there sweetie.


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    #7
    Thank you so much girls. The support means a lot to me.
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    #8
    omg girly I am soo sorry for what you are going through...losing a pet is horrible and I send thoughts and prayers through your grieving right now
  9. happygirl0486
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    #9
    aww I am so sorry for your loss
  10. BamaGirlTiff
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    #10
    I am sorry for you loss....Please don't blame yourself. I know it's hard not too. I lost a my cat Sassy last year, I had her for six years. I kept thinking that if I had done this or if I had done that she would still be alive, she was my baby. For me the only thing that helped me heal, was time.
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