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Thread: Having a hard time living in Naples, Italy

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    Having a hard time living in Naples, Italy

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    Last edited by carefreexheart; 01-28-2017 at 04:08 PM.
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by carefreexheart View Post
    Hello everyone...I came on this site because I really need support from others. It has been so hard to live here in Naples, Italy. I will tell you why.

    I hate it the trash. I hate the people sometimes (the rude ones), I hate how people constantly honk when they are trying to get somewhere (which is all the time), I hate the self-centeredness, I hate the brashness, I even dislike the food at times.

    I have tried to apply to multiple federal positions (since that is all they offer spouses besides the NEX and CYP) and we cannot work off base. I continue to try applying to positions. I even tried Flexjobs.com, monster.com, Upwork, etc. for remote positions. I am working on a graduate degree and working on a certification on the side.

    It is also very expensive to live here and I truly believe they do not give us enough money to live here.

    I am trying my best to make the most of it but even the support system is not good. I tried to reach out to multiple wives. Some are open but most of the time everyone is living their own life in a hermit shell.

    I also tried learning the language and it is: a) still in progress b) the people here speak Neapolitan; which is a dialect of Italian- making it more difficult, discouraging & frustrating to live here.

    I even ended up in the hospital for 1 week with my white blood cell count more than the amount of a Leukemia patient. My husband has developed allergies since being here. He never had allergies. The air has 90% of allergies in the air. The air is heavily polluted with the burning of trash such as plastic, tires (rubber), etc.

    My husband and I have moved to a second place in Naples due to the landlord not paying for our water (was in the contract) and over pricing on my electricity bills, being rude, etc.

    I flew back home to visit to get a "recharge" last December and it worked for a little bit but all it did was make me miss home even more and constantly remind me of the convenience America has. My sister recently visited me and it was nice but again, makes me sad that I am missing my family.

    Not to mention, this is supposed to be a shore duty station. It isn't. My husband works nights and long hours. The good thing is every few months he is now allowed to switch over to days for just a month every 3 months.

    I have sought counseling and they just told me all the things I already knew.

    I really do not know what to do anymore. I honestly believe it is almost toxic to live here (literally and mentally/emotionally).

    I am really trying and I think I have made it clear I have.

    Any thoughts?

    Best,
    carefreexheart
    I don't have any advice because I have never been in your position. Just wanted to come offer hugs. I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope things get better

    <3 Anthiea <3 KittenMittens <3
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    #3
    Our utilities were crazy in Italy but the utility allowance is finally much higher there (way more than when we were there back in 09). Even E1 utility allowance is over $1000/month.

    Get out of the house. Find somewhere to volunteer. Make friends. Get involved. Travel. There is so much to do in other parts of Italy and in Europe and it's pretty easy to do it on a budget too.
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    #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by *Stephanie* View Post
    Our utilities were crazy in Italy but the utility allowance is finally much higher there (way more than when we were there back in 09). Even E1 utility allowance is over $1000/month.

    Get out of the house. Find somewhere to volunteer. Make friends. Get involved. Travel. There is so much to do in other parts of Italy and in Europe and it's pretty easy to do it on a budget too.
    I agree that you've got to get out of the house and keep looking for groups of people. It's definitely not easy but find anywhere that needs volunteering such as the library, school, uso, FRG, anything! If you are religious I highly recommend PWOC as a bible study, it's never let me down overseas with helping me feel like I'm not alone. you don't have to like your duty station no matter what the location but you have to find the silver lining somewhere in order to survive.
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    #5
    I have no advice either but I really just wanted to send you some good vibes and hugs. I really hope you can sort this out. Hang in there.
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    #6
    I have not heard the best about living there...like you mentioned, the trash and pollution. How long have you been there? Is the end in sight? My only suggestion is like the others, travel, But it's hard to justify spending that money when you are not working. It's a sticky situation for sure :/ Hang in there
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by carefreexheart View Post
    Hello everyone...I came on this site because I really need support from others. It has been so hard to live here in Naples, Italy. I will tell you why.

    I hate it the trash. I hate the people sometimes (the rude ones), I hate how people constantly honk when they are trying to get somewhere (which is all the time), I hate the self-centeredness, I hate the brashness, I even dislike the food at times.

    I have tried to apply to multiple federal positions (since that is all they offer spouses besides the NEX and CYP) and we cannot work off base. I continue to try applying to positions. I even tried Flexjobs.com, monster.com, Upwork, etc. for remote positions. I am working on a graduate degree and working on a certification on the side.

    It is also very expensive to live here and I truly believe they do not give us enough money to live here.

    I am trying my best to make the most of it but even the support system is not good. I tried to reach out to multiple wives. Some are open but most of the time everyone is living their own life in a hermit shell.

    I also tried learning the language and it is: a) still in progress b) the people here speak Neapolitan; which is a dialect of Italian- making it more difficult, discouraging & frustrating to live here.

    I even ended up in the hospital for 1 week with my white blood cell count more than the amount of a Leukemia patient. My husband has developed allergies since being here. He never had allergies. The air has 90% of allergies in the air. The air is heavily polluted with the burning of trash such as plastic, tires (rubber), etc.

    My husband and I have moved to a second place in Naples due to the landlord not paying for our water (was in the contract) and over pricing on my electricity bills, being rude, etc.

    I flew back home to visit to get a "recharge" last December and it worked for a little bit but all it did was make me miss home even more and constantly remind me of the convenience America has. My sister recently visited me and it was nice but again, makes me sad that I am missing my family.

    Not to mention, this is supposed to be a shore duty station. It isn't. My husband works nights and long hours. The good thing is every few months he is now allowed to switch over to days for just a month every 3 months.

    I have sought counseling and they just told me all the things I already knew.

    I really do not know what to do anymore. I honestly believe it is almost toxic to live here (literally and mentally/emotionally).

    I am really trying and I think I have made it clear I have.

    Any thoughts?

    Best,
    carefreexheart
    Our previous duty station was a horrible experience and honestly, now that I look back, I'd do things very differently. The most important thing is to relax and meet people. Do not get discouraged by setbacks. Do not isolate yourself. That's more important than you would think! If you have a chance, get to know other spouses, FRG group members. If you have kids, try to make friends with the other parents. If you can't find a job (been there), volunteer. You will eventually meet people and you don't have to be BFF's to actually feel better instead of being alone all the time. If you don't like the language, don't feel pressured to spend your days studying something you do not like. I have been living in Germany for a few years now and I can't speak German. I just really don't like it and can't learn it. It's no big deal. I don't feel bad about it. I speak 4 languages, I don't care what others think (btw, most spouses cannot speak a word so why bother?). Everybody is different and it's normal to dislike certain things.

    My experience was that the harder I tried, the worse I felt. I think relaxing and taking things less seriously helps a lot. If you take yoga classes or at least learn about breathing exercises, they might help a lot! As for rude people...you have to ask yourself: are they going to be a part of your life in 5 years? If no, don't worry about them. You and your family matter.

    When is your PCS?

    I wish you good luck and want you to know it can get better, this is not a permanent thing for the rest of your life. Just like you said, try to make the best of it.
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    #8
    Ahhhh, has anyone actually did any googling or other research about how toxic the ENTIRE region of Naples is??

    What no one told you?? The local mafia has been dumping toxic waste in the Naples region since the early 1990s, some 11 million tons, to include nuclear waste! And guess what, the Naval Support Base is right in the middle of it all!

    Let me further paint a picture with some actual phrases used by the locals: "The Triangle of Death", or maybe you prefer "The Land of Tumors". Here is one, "The Land of Fires", oh the Navy forgot to tell you about the black pillars of smoke from burning garbage dumps that have exposed local populations to increased risk of lung carcinoma. Birth defects here are 80 percent above European averages, and researchers have found that breast cancer rates in the region were 47 percent above the national average.

    You can't/shouldn't eat any food produced in the entire region's land, e.g., vegetables, cheese, olive oil etc. because it's contaminated. The commissary apparently tests some food products on a regular basis but doesn't publish results, perhaps one could ask for them. Essentially, there is no way of knowing that all the local vegetables, local cheese, tomato sauce, or oil olive sold in the commissary is contaminant free. With the level of lies and deceit will you trust anyone at this point to ensure the produce you are consuming isn't from the contaminated local farms??

    Definitely don't eat any food bought on the economy. That takes away eating Naples famous pizza and cheeses for a start. They use the tomatoes, cheese etc. from the local area in all their cooking.

    Even if some sources say it's safe, will you gamble with your family's life knowing the factual and indisputable level of the entire region's contamination??

    The Navy itself in a report ending in 2011, came to the conclusion that military/civilians shouldn't live in the area for more then 3 years without the likely hood of experiencing adverse side effects! Moreover, the report stated that off-base families should choose living accommodations above the second floor, “which will significantly mitigate concerns associated with vapor intrusion from soil gas.” WTF!

    Moreover, you can't use the tap water for anything, except showering. The Navy states “use bottled water for off-base personnel, for drinking, food preparation, cooking, brushing teeth, making ice, and for pets. The region's water table is contaminated. Filters don't remove radioactive/toxic material ladies and gentlemen, so I don't believe I would shower in it either!

    A former mafia member admitted that nuclear and other toxic waste was also dumped in the area. All the places are not known....nice. About 50 of the areas communities are contaminated and more not known. The Italian government got the mobster testimony of the toxic waste dumping in 1997 but didn't release the information until 2013. The level of corruption in Italy is unbelievable.

    There is a plethora of information about this subject on the web.

    The obvious issue that screams to me is the Navy told us NOTHING about these issues. Why do they still make military families relocate to this cess-pool? This is simply criminal!

    Here are some toxic appetizers(websites) to get your cancer growing:

    Coping With Naples’ Toxic Waste Crisis | Latest News | Earth Island Journal | Earth Island Institute

    Illegal Dumping of Toxic Waste and Its Effect on Human Health in Campania, Italy
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    #9
    Interesting first post to add to a thread that is 9 months old.
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    Quote Originally Posted by dekeoboe View Post
    Interesting first post to add to a thread that is 9 months old.
    "She knew she loved him when 'home' went from being a place to being a person."
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