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Thread: Dealing with New Military Life

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    #1

    Dealing with New Military Life

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    Hello All....my name is Andrea, Andie for short. My husband and I were just recently married in December of last year. We have moved to his current base and I have been having a difficult time adjusting. I do not know anyone here, he is always out with his buddies while I am left here alone with no family or friends. What are good activities that I can become involved into off and on the base to have some interaction?
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    #2
    Hello and welcome!
    Why is your husband hanging out with his friend? Do any of them have wives/girlfriends you can maybe meet? Maybe you can compromise that since you don't really know anyone there yet that he limits his time with his buddies for now and not leave you alone so much? I think that's pretty inconsiderate.
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by andi4ball View Post
    Hello All....my name is Andrea, Andie for short. My husband and I were just recently married in December of last year. We have moved to his current base and I have been having a difficult time adjusting. I do not know anyone here, he is always out with his buddies while I am left here alone with no family or friends. What are good activities that I can become involved into off and on the base to have some interaction?
    Why does your husband leave you at home when he goes out? I get the occasional guys night, but do you and him ever do anything together? As for things to do, what about volunteer work?
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by andi4ball View Post
    Hello All....my name is Andrea, Andie for short. My husband and I were just recently married in December of last year. We have moved to his current base and I have been having a difficult time adjusting. I do not know anyone here, he is always out with his buddies while I am left here alone with no family or friends. What are good activities that I can become involved into off and on the base to have some interaction?
    Where are you located? Knowing that would help with some suggestions or even help you network with members here who might be at the same location. Have you talked to your husband about the fact that he goes out and leaves you at home all the time and how that has made you feel? Are you a person of faith? Do you enjoy any particular hobbies or physical activities? Do you have any pets? Are there causes that you are passionate about?
  5. we were all rooting for you
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    #5
    Can your husband introduce you to any of his friends and their SOs? Also, check out the on-base activities as well as local. What are your interests? I like to run and found a running club when I moved here.
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    #6
    I think the easiest and best solution is that your Dh stops going out so much without you. Perhaps the two of you can discuss it and come to an agreement about what is reasonable. One night out with the boys every two months, for example.

    His unit likely has a spouses group of some kind. Ask him to get you the contact info for the person in charge. They will have meetings where you can meet other spouses, and many of the groups have social gatherings or other kinds of groups. If they don't, you can start one. See who is interested in meeting for coffee or lunch, and then see if you can make that a regular thing. Ask if anyone has a book club, and if not, start one. (It's easy, just pick a book and a date at least 4 weeks out so people have time to read it, and that's it! Then at the meeting pick your next book using whatever method you think is best.)

    Bases also tend to have a ton of volunteer opportunties, if you aren't planning on working (or even evenings if you you are). If you base has a USO, or a library, or an education center, contact those places and ask about volunteering. Or the base school, if it has one. And if you are religious, contact the chapel and see about services to attend and about volunteer opportunities. And don't limit your volunteering to on base! Whatever interests you, find a volunteer-based group and dive in. Animal shelters, at-risk kids programs, elderly care facilities, hospitals, Ronald McDonald house, soup kitchens--the possibilities are nearly endless.

    If there is a craft store, see if they have classes.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski

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