dear abby: about cutters

[harrisonsdream]

DEAR ABBY
Friends are 'cutters,' and teen feels pain

By ABBY
Universal Press Syndicate

Dear Abby:

The thing that comes to mind when I look at my friends is, "How much did you cut today?" It hurts my heart to know they do it. A couple of them do it on their legs. They wear pants in the summer so no one can see the nasty gashes and scars. My other friends do it on their arms and wear long-sleeved shirts or sweat shirts in 80-degree weather.

I am only 14, and I am crying out for help. What can I say or do to make them stop? I feel like if I tell them, they'll feel bad and cut more, and I really don't know what to do. Please print this soon.

FRIGHTENED AND WORRIED in Minnesota

Dear Frightened:

You are right to be worried about your friends. They are in serious trouble. Strange as it may seem, people who cut themselves do it to distract themselves from their emotional pain. Cutting is usually a symptom of a serious emotional problem, and often cutters need professional intervention to stop their compulsion.

Your friends are sick, and they're not likely to listen to you at this point. That's why you must tell your parents what is going on so they can tell the other adults that their children are in need of treatment — and the sooner the better.

Dear Abby:

I went to college for two years and did not find one bit of enjoyment in anything I was studying. Now, at 23, I work in a business owned by a friend and do a bit of acting on the side, which I love.

My problem is that I am judged by people I hardly know for my career choices. I get questions like, "Have you gone back to school yet?" and "When are you planning to go back to school?"

I was recently outraged when a family friend asked me what my fiance does for a living (construction) and if he had finished college (he did not). Abby, this woman actually asked me why I was going to marry him!

What most people don't know is, I do plan to return to school and study architecture. However, I do not feel I should have to explain my every move to these people, when they obviously don't care about my feelings. Most of the time I give them a disgusted look and walk away, but I'm tired of feeling like I'm running away from them. What is a polite way of telling them my decisions are not their business?

UNEDUCATED in Ontario

Dear "Uneducated":

Having a college degree is an asset but no guarantee of success — and people in the trades also can earn a very good living. (Just ask anyone who has tried to hire a plumber, electrician or someone to remodel a home.)

You are under no obligation to confide your career plans to anyone who asks. Just smile and say, "I'm planning on winning the lottery."

Yes, God forbid the girl doesn't marry a doctor or lawyer. People can be idiots.