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Thread: Seeking advice

  1. Fresh Newbie
    Amycno's Avatar
    Amycno is offline
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    May 2018

    Seeking advice

    My fiancť just left for the army basic training a few days ago and I am completely devastated. I have a constant pain in my chest, I cry all the time, and I donít have any appetite. Are these feelings normal at all? Also, we are both pretty young and he said before he left he will get me a hotel room and plane ticket for his graduation and family day in July but Iím not sure how he can do that. I donít know how to prepare for his graduation. I also have no idea if I can send him letters now before he has been put into a unit. I feel so alone and helpless. So if anyone has any tips or advice that would be great.
  2. " do Classical Gas"
    Matchbox's Avatar
    Matchbox is offline
    " do Classical Gas"
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    Feb 2017
    Yes, you can write to him as much as you like.

    It takes them a week or two to settle in to training. One of the first things the instructors try to do to any recruit is to isolate him and to cut him off a little from his old life - if he misses his home or his family, then he’s thinking about that rather than paying attention to what they’re trying to teach him, so the first week or so is all about making him concentrate entirely on where he is and what he’s doing right now. He’ll be tired, because tired people don’t think much about the outside world. He’ll be confused, because everyone is shouting at him and he doesn’t entirely understand what they mean yet. They want him to be there with them, not still half at home with you.

    They have a lot to cover and not a lot of time to do it in, but as soon as he knows which way is up and which foot his boots go on he’ll have a chance to send you a note with his exact address on it. As soon as you get that, you can write as much as you can think of. If he does well in training, he may even be able to call you as a reward.

    Information about passing-out/graduation will reach you closer to the end. For now, just concentrate on a week at a time.

    You’ll manage.
    If I cannot move heaven, I will raise hell
  3. Senior Member
    Medic2Doula's Avatar
    Medic2Doula is offline
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    Mar 2017
    San Diego, CA
    What Matchbox said. Get a good hobby to keep you busy and write as much as your heart desires.
  4. The name says it all!
    ALil2Naughty's Avatar
    ALil2Naughty is offline
    The name says it all!
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    Mar 2010
    Loki's chambers

    Matchbox and Medic are right! Get a great hobby to get into, that'll take your mind off him for whatever short period of time. I didn't meet my husband till he was well established in the military, so I don't know about Basic Training, but I can tell you about our deployment. We were newly weds at the time, we had just had a baby 4 months before he left, new house and what not, but we managed to do it together. Plan out things to do while he's away (pedicures were my go to each month), go out with friends each weekend, plan what you want to do when he gets back (trips, dinners, etc.), there are so many things you can do while he's gone to take up your time. I hope you find your way in this wacky life and support your boyfriend, he'll need you more than you realize.

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.

  5. Old Newbie
    Christine8790's Avatar
    Christine8790 is offline
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    Apr 2018
    I'm so sorry you are going through this. I don't have much in the way of advice, I am still getting my feet wet with the Navy life. But I can tell you that you've found the right spot for some really good advice and support. You're not alone!

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