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Thread: I am new at this, and I have some concerns. Please, help

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    I am new at this, and I have some concerns. Please, help

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    I have met this guy a month ago, and we immediately clicked. We started dating and then he told me he was gonna leave soon for training (two months without physical contact, only some calls/texts I think) and then he'll have weekends off. Now, I know this is a new relationship, but we talked about being serious. My concern is "will he change during this time? Will he not want to be in a relationship anymore? Is it too soon to overthink this? Is it possible to start something serious by being in this situation?" I have so many questions.

    We are both fairly young, 18, and I am so new at all this. If someone wants to help, please do. It will mean a lot.
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by EmGray View Post
    I have met this guy a month ago, and we immediately clicked. We started dating and then he told me he was gonna leave soon for training (two months without physical contact, only some calls/texts I think) and then he'll have weekends off. Now, I know this is a new relationship, but we talked about being serious. My concern is "will he change during this time? Will he not want to be in a relationship anymore? Is it too soon to overthink this? Is it possible to start something serious by being in this situation?" I have so many questions.

    We are both fairly young, 18, and I am so new at all this. If someone wants to help, please do. It will mean a lot.
    Welcome! What kind of training? Is it basic! He’s only 18, so I can’t imagine he’s been in long. No one can answer if he’ll change or want to be in a relationship. Time will tell. My experience is different because I was with DH for 4 years before he left.

    I do think you’re over thinking this a bit and both you guys and the relationship is so new. It’s good to have a conversation about what communication expectations will be and where you see it going, but don’t put too much pressure on such a new relationship.
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    #3
    Hi EmGray
    I've experienced plenty of separation and minimal communication in my relationship so what I can tell you is this; a relationship can withstand any circumstance as long as both people want to make the relationship work. If you both have stated that you want to make this relationship work, then that will stay true unless one of you changes your mind.
    Keep communication open (as much as possible due to circumstances) and enjoy your time together
  4. Old Newbie
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by EmGray View Post
    I have met this guy a month ago, and we immediately clicked. We started dating and then he told me he was gonna leave soon for training (two months without physical contact, only some calls/texts I think) and then he'll have weekends off. Now, I know this is a new relationship, but we talked about being serious. My concern is "will he change during this time? Will he not want to be in a relationship anymore? Is it too soon to overthink this? Is it possible to start something serious by being in this situation?" I have so many questions.

    We are both fairly young, 18, and I am so new at all this. If someone wants to help, please do. It will mean a lot.
    Welcome!!
    I am so glad to read your post. I am 27 and met DB a little over three months ago. Exactly one month ago, I was exactly where you are now. DB relocated to the other side of the country and my entire train of thought went into over drive. As mentioned above, no one knows how your relationship will progress. But I can tell you that you will feel 100% better about your future if you both genuinely stay open and honest with each other. Communication (while it might not be that often) really is so so important. Don't hold any of your feelings back, and put your trust in him. If you both put in the effort, you have a pretty good shot. I know how you are feeling, and I still have concerns about my brand new relationship too. It's SO new! But the questions you are asking are all the ones I was and still I am still asking myself. And keep this in mind, 1. you are not alone how you are feeling, while it may not feel like it, it's normal 2. these women on these threads KNOW what they are talking about, trust their advice and 3. always go with your gut. Your gut wins every time, beyond your heart and your brain.
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    #5
    Welcome I think training - like any other separation or significant change in life - is just something you roll with it as it comes. Some relationships last a lifetime, others don't, but I don't think minimal communication for a 2 month period will cause a relationship to fail. Most military relationships go through some form of separation and limited communication at some point so maybe it's a positive thing to get experience under your belt early in the relationship
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    #6
    I say see where it goes.

    Being apart for 2 months when you've only been together less than a month is not ideal but it is manageable. No one will be able to tell you for sure if he will lose interest because that could happen with or without separation. Just enjoy eaach other and see where it goes.




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    #7
    Have you met him in person?
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    #8
    Will he change? Absolutely. People are always changing, you are not the same person you were two months ago, no? We are meant for change.
    Will he still want a relationship? Maybe, maybe not. I don't think his service has much to do with it, sometimes relationships work out, and sometimes they don't. You don't marry every person you date (or you do if you are that 1%, I sure as hell wasn't).
    I think you could give it a chance, what's the worst that could happen? DH and I were long distance for over four years, it worked out for us.
    “There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide”


    ― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self Reliance

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