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Thread: Here we go...

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    Here we go...

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    Hi ya'll,
    I guess I'm not technically a newbie and have lurked the site a few times on and off and finally decided it's time to participate and introduce myself. My hubby is in the Air Force and recently left for deployment. This isn't our first separation, but it's the first time for the "D" word and the first time I've been left on my own without running to family for support. We have 2 boys and they are just at the age now that I refuse to make them pack up their lives every time their dad leaves. I am prior Air Force and right now I'm trying to hold down the fort while I also go to school full time as a pre-med student. It hasn't been an easy go. I don't feel like the base(or maybe just his unit) where we are located has adequate support for deployed spouses. I'm completely alone, I haven't once heard from any of our key spouses and I'm honestly going insane without any sort of support system. There were a lot of promises made before he left that haven't been followed through on. I hope by participating in this forum I can at least find some people to talk to about this that know what this feels like. That's the gist of it right now and I hope I can get to know some of you well.
  2. The name says it all!
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    #2
    Welcome to the forum! I understand where you're coming from where the "no support" is concerned. Dh was with a command on the opposite end of the continent from us and it wasn't easy. I can only imagine how it is going to school full time and having all that going on. There are some awesome people on this site. I hope you find the support you're looking for here!

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.




  3. Senior Member
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by yourinkyness View Post
    Hi ya'll,
    I guess I'm not technically a newbie and have lurked the site a few times on and off and finally decided it's time to participate and introduce myself. My hubby is in the Air Force and recently left for deployment. This isn't our first separation, but it's the first time for the "D" word and the first time I've been left on my own without running to family for support. We have 2 boys and they are just at the age now that I refuse to make them pack up their lives every time their dad leaves. I am prior Air Force and right now I'm trying to hold down the fort while I also go to school full time as a pre-med student. It hasn't been an easy go. I don't feel like the base(or maybe just his unit) where we are located has adequate support for deployed spouses. I'm completely alone, I haven't once heard from any of our key spouses and I'm honestly going insane without any sort of support system. There were a lot of promises made before he left that haven't been followed through on. I hope by participating in this forum I can at least find some people to talk to about this that know what this feels like. That's the gist of it right now and I hope I can get to know some of you well.
    Are you new to the area? Have you made many friends yet?

    I'm in the same boat as you: I'm going to school full time and I don't know any wives from the squadron. I've found that school and friends (that I met through sports) keep me so busy that I haven't had a chance to feel lonely yet.

    I hope things get better for you




  4. Fresh Newbie
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    #4
    Hi! If you are looking to get in touch with Key Spouses I would ask your DH who is all involved and try and reach out that way. I know for our first deployment, it took a month or 2 before the key spouses got in contact with all the other wives. Your DH can also provide your information in order for them to reach out to you. Since you are prior AF try and get involved with your AFRC, especially with other wives who have children!
    Most importantly, make sure you take self-care. School, work, and kids can be slightly overwhelming to say the least. Pick a certain day or time everyday to enjoy even 10 minutes to yourself. Whether that be a bubble bath & wine (my personal favorite) or read a book, if you are religious/ spiritual there are great online blogs/vlogs to watch. Once a week I would take my dog on a walk at different park and enjoy some "me" time. I hope this forum can offer you the support you are looking for! (:
  5. Senior Member
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    #5
    Also, keep in mind that key spouses and other spouse and family program participants are volunteers. If you don't like they way things are being run, the best way to fix that is to volunteer. Yes, you are busy, but almost certainly so are the other volunteers, which is likely part of the reason the program isn't as robust as you'd like to see. So offer your labor and time to help change that. Cite a specific need and contact them with a suggested fix (that you are willing to take on), and do so with enthusiasm and no criticism of their current programs. "Hey, I was thinking about it, and I feel like the families would benefit from a weekly email update, even if there's no new info that week and it's just something to help them stay connected and feel supported. I'd love to take this on, if it's possible. Let me know, and if I can do this, I just need the email list and I will be ready to start next week!"

    If you aren't willing or able to do it, remind yourself that this is exactly why no one else is doing it, either.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    Also, keep in mind that key spouses and other spouse and family program participants are volunteers. If you don't like they way things are being run, the best way to fix that is to volunteer. Yes, you are busy, but almost certainly so are the other volunteers, which is likely part of the reason the program isn't as robust as you'd like to see. So offer your labor and time to help change that. Cite a specific need and contact them with a suggested fix (that you are willing to take on), and do so with enthusiasm and no criticism of their current programs. "Hey, I was thinking about it, and I feel like the families would benefit from a weekly email update, even if there's no new info that week and it's just something to help them stay connected and feel supported. I'd love to take this on, if it's possible. Let me know, and if I can do this, I just need the email list and I will be ready to start next week!"

    If you aren't willing or able to do it, remind yourself that this is exactly why no one else is doing it, either.
    with all of this!!

    Also reach out to them! I'm the FRG president for our ship but I don't get a roster or anything from the ship so I don't know when new spouses arrive unless they reach out to us. Our ombudsmen (which I believe is similar to the key spouse) does get a roster but she can't just reach out without being invited to (i.e. your husband provides contact info to her for the blast emails or you reach out about a problem). 100% the best way to get involved or know whats going on is to email or FB message and get to know those leading these programs!
  7. Do or do not... There is no try.~ Yoda, Jedi Master
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    #7
    to MSOS. Please take a moment to read over our Everything A Newbie Needs To Know!!!thread. This is a very important sticky that will answer many of our most common newbie questions. It also has some VERY important information that every member of this site needs to read and know.
    I'm not Lynn, but we ARE MSOS Best Friends and MSOS Twins.

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