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Thread: Engaged to the USAF

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    Engaged to the USAF

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    Hey there everyone! I'm EJ, I'm almost 21 years old, and I'm definitely head-over-heels in love with my Air Force man. By the way, he and I are a Tinder success story, so there's that.

    I'm fairly new to the whole military lifestyle, and am diving head first into everything. For starters, my fiancé and I only got engaged about a week ago (oh yeah, so happy), and he and I have been together for over a year now. So, here's what going on... He is stationed in Korea, currently on leave for just a few more days back here in the states, and he has another almost six months to go out there. Immediately after, he's getting stationed to RAF Lakenheath, in England. So he and I are going to elope when he takes a VERY short leave between Korea and England (maybe 10 days), and then he's off. I plan on following him over there once I get my medical checks finished. What would be some major concerns about getting those checks done? Like, what would keep me from being unable to pass the medical exams?

    As for my personal life, I ride and train horses for a living, so moving to a new country that doesn't really specialize in what I've been doing my whole life (I ride western, they ride english) is kind of freaking me out a little bit. I really want to continue my education and experience with horses, I just don't know how I'm going to be able to do that out there. It's just all so different in England, so if any horse people have any tips for me, that would be awesome. I'm more than willing to work retail or something, but I prefer being able to get my hands a little muddy.

    Otherwise, he and I are very happy with our little family. We don't plan on having kids until he's done with his time in England and we're able to be stationed back in the states, and we do plan on getting an animal-kid while we're stationed over there.

    I'm really excited to start this new chapter in my life with the love of my life. It's scary for sure, but the adventure is completely worth it.
  2. Senior Member
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    #2
    Welcome
    I rode English, then got a horse who was "trained" western. I decided to ride western as she came with a lot of baggage (abused, injured) and I didn't want to make her relearn everything while I was getting her healthy.
    It is doable. I probably prefer western now, but maybe learning English could be a new hobby?
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    #3
    i have horse friends in England (hunter jumper) who if you give me location may be able to make a connection or at least a suggestion (the horse world is pretty small) of where to look for work - you could learn English or at the very least still work with the horses (feeding, mucking, grooming, barn work will all be the something you know). In my experience switching isn’t easy and often Westetn riders will have trouble with the “ridged” English requirements (straight line from head, shoulder, hip, heel) but it can be done, plus it’s always great to learn new skills!
  4. Dancing Backwards in High Heels
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    #4
    The biggest issue I see with your plan is that you are getting married 10 days before he reports to new orders, so likely his orders will not be accompanied. This means the military does not pay to move you and you are subject to that country's immigration laws. Depending on his rank, he might not get BAH to live out of the barracks.

    As for what may/may not qualify, it's hard to say and it depends on the base and the resources they have available at the time. People have been denied for depression, PCOS and a variety of medical issues.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by HisJuliet View Post
    The biggest issue I see with your plan is that you are getting married 10 days before he reports to new orders, so likely his orders will not be accompanied. This means the military does not pay to move you and you are subject to that country's immigration laws. Depending on his rank, he might not get BAH to live out of the barracks.

    As for what may/may not qualify, it's hard to say and it depends on the base and the resources they have available at the time. People have been denied for depression, PCOS and a variety of medical issues.
    Ooooooh I didn't even think about that.
    With the navy, E4 and below don't get to take dependents over seas without waivers. HisJuliet is totally correct.
  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Medic2Doula View Post
    Ooooooh I didn't even think about that.
    With the navy, E4 and below don't get to take dependents over seas without waivers. HisJuliet is totally correct.
    Air Force, to my knowledge, does not have that rank rule. However, I can't tell whether or not OP is talking about joining in Korea or in England. Korea won't be allowed; families are extremely limited and it requires a two year tour. When it comes to England, HisJuliet is correct on everything else. There would be time in the next year to have those orders amended, but I wouldn't bank on it actually happening.

    OP please think your plan through very very much! You've only been engaged a week. I see it all the time where people jump to get married before an overseas assignment and it doesn't always turn out well, especially in Korea. For a young MM it's a party scene all the time -- I've never heard a single person say they didn't party in Korea when given the chance, to include my own husband and higher ranking MM I know. I'd highly encourage you to wait until his Korea tour is ending (he should get leave sometime in the next year) then get married.
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    #7
    Yes, you likely won't be on his orders so all expenses associated with getting you and your stuff there will be on you. Be aware of that and prepare for it. He may also have to get his orders amended to even allow you to go, because a US citizen can't just move to the UK any more than citizens of other countries can move to the US. That can take time, in theory isn't a 100% given, and make very well increase the length of his orders.

    For the medical screen, it's so hard to say is it depends on the base and even on the day of the week (or the person doing the screening). But they look for anyon ongoing or chronic medical conditions, even those that are currently udner control and require little to no medical care at the moment. Mental health issues, even those well-controlled are also a big red flag. It doesn't mean you *will* be denied, but it could be an issue. In order to be prepared to move as quickly as possible, make sure you ahve a current pap smear, current dental visit (and all big outstanding issues fixed) are current on all vaccinations, and get a TB and HIV test. You may or may not need all those, but it's better to have them and not need them than to need them and have it slow your process by weeks or months.

    You mention working retail, which suggests to me you are going on to this with some very, very unrealistic expectations. Any paid work at all when you are stationed overseas is very, very difficult. I'd say 98% of spouses are unable to get work. You don't have a work visa. I don't know the rules specifically for England, but in most overseas locations, you can't just go out and get a job because of your immigration status. You are limited to wokr on base, unless you have some superspecialized skill that is needed in that country and can't be filled by a local person (or, in the case of the EU, any EU citizen). Base jobs are few and far between, and you have hundreds of spouses fighting for that one job at the Taco Bell found court, or being a checker at the commisary or Exchange. Basically, plan on not working, and consider yourself very, very lucky if you do. But your immigration status will probably prevent you from getting any paid job at a local barn or any other local place. Many spouses baby sit for money, and there is lots of volunteering in the spouse community.

    You guys have a *lot* of reasearch to do so that you both aren't going in to this blind.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
  8. Do or do not... There is no try.~ Yoda, Jedi Master
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    #8
    to MSOS. Please take a moment to read over our Everything A Newbie Needs To Know!!!thread. This is a very important sticky that will answer many of our most common newbie questions. It also has some VERY important information that every member of this site needs to read and know.
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