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Thread: Divorce Help Please :(

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    #1

    Suspicious Divorce Help Please :(

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    So by the title, yea I'm getting a divorce. Well more like being divorced. The person I was with for just about 10 years, married for 5 (would've been six in December), has decided that he wants to divorce me. More like separate so that he can live his the rest of his twenties, he's 28, then come back to me once he's finish finding himself or whatever he wants to put it. Ive been to a divorce/separation briefing, but the guy wasn't as informative. He basically told the soldiers to pay their spousal / child support and keep their nose clean, but nothing as to how and where to get the process started. I've googled so much but I'm just broken and broke down and don't know what else to do. I'm a full time student taking 18 credit hours, and cant afford to move out or a lawyer. Thank heavens my degree plan is online, and will have to move at the end of the semester, but then what. My family back home already have a house full. I remember him saying at the briefing something about spousal support but how do we go about doing that. Do I have to file something with the North Carolina State Court House, we're stationed at Fort Bragg. What if he refuse to pay it. I cant just move without any form of support. Any kind words or suggestion is appreciated. I'm already stressed with school, and this just put the icing on the cake. I just need help anyone. Please
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    #2

    Sad Newbie that needs divorce help..

    Hello everyone. I'm here for any form of support I can get. My husband of 5 almost 6 years is divorcing me. I'm a full time student taking 18 credit hours, and currently an emotional reck. Ive tried to be strong and cry only at night but I just need listening ears and sound advice.
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    First, what you need to know is that dicorce is a civil matter. it has almost nothing to do with the military. You divorce the same way any civilian does. the only ways the military ay be involved are benefits, and maybe if he isn't paying what he is supposed to (if anything).

    So how you proceed is to find a lawyer. I know you said you can't afford it, but it may not be a choice. At least get a consultation (generally free) and see about the pay structure, if they are willing to wait to be paid until you get a settlement, etc. This may contradict my earlier point, but ask if they have experience handling military divorce. His future pension is an asset and can be treated as such, and a lawyer familiar with that and a few other things will be helpful.

    I'm sorry you are dealing with this.

    Also, keep in mind that if you are stressed, you can give yourself as much time as you need. You can wait until winter break when you are not in class to file. You can even wait until summer break if you need to.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #5
    From what I can see North Carolina requires a 1 year separation prior to granting a divorce. Like Villanelle said I'd get a free consultation from a lawyer (make sure it's free - the lawyer I used when I got divorced you had to retain to even talk to him), I would talk to 2 or 3 and pick the best one. If you and your DH agree you may not need a lawyer. I believe NC is a 50/50 state so unless you have kids and don't agree on custody a lawyer may not be necessary.
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    to MSOS. Please take a moment to read over our Everything A Newbie Needs To Know!!!thread. This is a very important sticky that will answer many of our most common newbie questions. It also has some VERY important information that every member of this site needs to read and know.
    I'm not Lynn, but we ARE MSOS Best Friends and MSOS Twins.
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    #7
    Get an attorney. Especially if you have kids.
    You may be entitled to a portion of any pension he may get.
    Also, you need to figure out what you need to do to protect yourself and your assets.
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
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    #8
    Thank you so much. We don't have any kids, (thank heaven), and he's refusing to pay spousal support, so I have no choice but to take out loans to get an attorney to protect myself.

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