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Thread: New Marine fiance - Losing it!

  1. Old Newbie
    Waffle's Avatar
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    #1

    New Marine fiance - Losing it!

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    Hello!

    I joined about a month ago but never brought myself to post anything. Ended up creating a new profile to get my real name out of my username! I've read through all the welcoming pages for newbies and just wanted to finally put myself out here and post. So here is a little about my situation and concerns!

    I am currently engaged, my DF is now away at bootcamp. He has been gone about a month now, and I am going absolutely insane! About a month before he left I lost my job, my job that I had been happy, comfortable and stable at for 4 years. I wasn't initially worried, I thought I would be back on my feet the moment I started looking for another job and wanted to enjoy the last month I had with my DF with both of us now job-free! (He quit his job right before I lost mine)
    Great month of hanging out taking a nice trip, but now he's gone and I have been unable to find a job for the last month of trying - Talk about discouraging.
    Aside from being jobless and burning through my savings for bills, I am now stuck at home with absolutely nothing to do, which makes him being gone 100x worse.

    We have finally established a decently frequent letter back-and-fourth which makes me very happy. He is doing well but I know he is struggling being gone. In the last year we've MAYBE spent a combined week apart, so this is very different. I know he is stressed thinking about the troubles I am dealing with here, but he has enough to worry about! I try not to worry him with what has been going on, keeping my letters positive. Is there anything else I can do to show my support? Now and in the future? I know this is only the first tiny stretch of a long road ahead of us, so I want to know as much as possible of what I am able to do for him!

    How did everyone try to keep their SO's spirits up and show support while they were away?

    Thank you in advance!

    (My profile picture is our handsome turt Nelson. He is also anxiously awaiting his return!)
  2. Regular Member
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    #2
    It sounds like what you're doing is great! I think sometimes we forget that we or our DH, DB, DF is going to be frustrated in this career field (or any career field). We can offer positivity as much as we can but ultimately he's going to need to be frustrated occassionally too. Makes the mind work better and keeps him striving for the next goal. I personally feel like that's a big chunk of what the military is - stepping (or crawling) goal to goal. BCT to AIT to Station #1 to New rank, etc. Listen to what he can tell you and encourage him to find the next goal.

    I have faith you will find a job, in the meantime try to keep busy at your parents. Cook them dinner, do their laundry, etc. Shows gratefulness.

    Keep your chin up, stay faithful and sweet!
  3. Do or do not... There is no try.~ Yoda, Jedi Master
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    #3


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    #4
    Welcome. And what an adorable turtle!
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    #5
    Welcome! When DH was going through BCT he said receiving letters was what really helped him deal with separation from everyone. He didn't mind if they were short or long, small talk or super motivational. Just hearing his name called and knowing we were thinking about him was enough, so it sounds like what you'r doing is just fine!
    As for your job situation, I went through something similar shortly after DH switched from Guard to active. Being alone with nothing to do can really suck. I know settling isn't the best thing to do but maybe widen your job search to jobs you wouldn't normally think about applying to. You could always continue looking after getting a job but having something to keep you busy is so important.
    Good luck, you got this!
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by ThumperJane View Post
    It sounds like what you're doing is great! I think sometimes we forget that we or our DH, DB, DF is going to be frustrated in this career field (or any career field). We can offer positivity as much as we can but ultimately he's going to need to be frustrated occassionally too. Makes the mind work better and keeps him striving for the next goal. I personally feel like that's a big chunk of what the military is - stepping (or crawling) goal to goal. BCT to AIT to Station #1 to New rank, etc. Listen to what he can tell you and encourage him to find the next goal.

    I have faith you will find a job, in the meantime try to keep busy at your parents. Cook them dinner, do their laundry, etc. Shows gratefulness.

    Keep your chin up, stay faithful and sweet!
    Thank you for the kind response! I know he's bound to be frustrated sometimes, just want to be as supportive as possible! He loves getting letters, and that's really the most I can do right now, so I've been doing that as much as possible.

    And I have been spending a lot of time lately visiting my parents (probably sick of me by now!)
    My best friend has been doing everything possible to get me out of the house doing stuff with her, which I greatly appreciate. And lots of gym!
    Also have been spending time with DF's mom, which has been very helpful for both of us.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Deifick View Post
    Welcome. And what an adorable turtle!
    Thank you!
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by crnason4224 View Post
    Welcome! When DH was going through BCT he said receiving letters was what really helped him deal with separation from everyone. He didn't mind if they were short or long, small talk or super motivational. Just hearing his name called and knowing we were thinking about him was enough, so it sounds like what you'r doing is just fine!
    As for your job situation, I went through something similar shortly after DH switched from Guard to active. Being alone with nothing to do can really suck. I know settling isn't the best thing to do but maybe widen your job search to jobs you wouldn't normally think about applying to. You could always continue looking after getting a job but having something to keep you busy is so important.
    Good luck, you got this!
    Thank you for your kind response! He loves getting letters, so I try to send those often! I write every day and send them off in little batches every several days.
    As for the job thing, I have been a tad bit too picky! I've started expanding my searches a little bit. I wanted to find something I at least somewhat enjoyed because I am not one to hop around jobs (I've had 2 in the last 8 years, both for 4 years) , but a temporary job is better than depleted savings!!

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