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Thread: Help after baby is born.

  1. Proud Army Wife
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    #1

    Help after baby is born.

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    Ok so DH is in school and is not allowed to miss any. We don't really have anyone here to help me out after baby is born and this is worrying me because we also have an 11 month old so I am gonna need help for the first couple weeks. My parents can't come out till later this summer. DH has the option to recycle to the next class an start school over (he has been in since Jan) This would help him out in the long run I think getting a better score on his final test and he would get a bigger bonus at the end, but it would be longer until he got promoted which would also help us out. My question is if you were in this situation what would you do? Would you have your husband recycle and have him home for 3-4 weeks after baby is born and start class over again or would you just deal with it on your own?


  2. "If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me"
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    #2
    I would do whatever hindered my husband's career the least.

    He would be the only one to know what that is.

    There are 10 types of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't
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    #3
    Can you hire a mother's helper (like a teen or college student) for a few hours a week?

    Even if it isn't written policy, is it frowned on to recycle? Does that mean that if he struggles down the road, he's already used up his change to recycle so he would fail out?

    Like Trish, I would do whatever was least detrimental to DH's career.
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  4. Proud Army Wife
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by TrishAFSpouse View Post
    I would do whatever hindered my husband's career the least.

    He would be the only one to know what that is.
    Neither would hinder it. He would just graduate later. IMO if he recycled it would actually benefit him because he is in language school and he would get to learn it better if he started it over. He is struggling a little bit because he got a really hard language.


  5. "If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me"
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by TareBear View Post
    Neither would hinder it. He would just graduate later. IMO if he recycled it would actually benefit him because he is in language school and he would get to learn it better if he started it over. He is struggling a little bit because he got a really hard language.
    But how would it fare among his peers?
    How would it look on his record in the future?

    I know in the AF, if they see in your record that you recycled its frowned upon and can harm you as far as achievements and later one when going up against a board.
    For me, if there was any inkling, one minute thing, that would give a bad tick in anything I would not let him do it.

    What will he be doing in the meantime? its not customary to allow for 3-4 weeks of leave. will they have work for him

    Only you two know what is best for career and family.

    There are 10 types of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't
  6. Moderator
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    #6
    DH dropped out of a language course and went on emergency (could have been paternity) leave so we could move after the tree came through our house because there was no way I could do it alone right after a c-section. He says if he'd taken the course anyway with everything going on and tried to make it work, he probably wouldn't have passed it. Is he SURE they will let him recycle? If he is, I'd strongly consider that option. Language courses are so tough without the added distraction of a new baby, even if you did have help!
  7. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #7
    IIRC there was already some frustration on your part due to the demands of the course and how that impacted his ability to help you around the house, etc during his non-school hours. With that in mind, if he re-cycles you will be starting over from day 1 of the course and facing all those same weeks of frustration with a toddler and a newborn, instead of a toddler and a pregnant wife - how many weeks has he already done that you would basically be tossing out and redoing the frustration of?
  8. Senior Member
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    #8
    I would push through and have him finish if at all possible. I know it would kill me to have to start school over, I would have for my DH to have to do the same thing.
    Never do anything halfway unless you want to be half happy.

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  9. Proud Army Wife
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by TrishAFSpouse View Post
    But how would it fare among his peers?
    How would it look on his record in the future?

    I know in the AF, if they see in your record that you recycled its frowned upon and can harm you as far as achievements and later one when going up against a board.
    For me, if there was any inkling, one minute thing, that would give a bad tick in anything I would not let him do it.

    What will he be doing in the meantime? its not customary to allow for 3-4 weeks of leave. will they have work for him

    Only you two know what is best for career and family.
    I'm not sure I will have to ask him about that. There is one person that I know of that has recycled already because his wife just had a baby and they have stuff for him to do sometimes like details and what not but must of the time he just has to go to formation in the morning and he is off the rest of the day.
    Quote Originally Posted by SingWeJoyous View Post
    DH dropped out of a language course and went on emergency (could have been paternity) leave so we could move after the tree came through our house because there was no way I could do it alone right after a c-section. He says if he'd taken the course anyway with everything going on and tried to make it work, he probably wouldn't have passed it. Is he SURE they will let him recycle? If he is, I'd strongly consider that option. Language courses are so tough without the added distraction of a new baby, even if you did have help!
    He has talked to his leadership about it and if for some reason I have to have a c-section he would have no choice but to recycle anyway because I would not be able to talk care of an 11 month old and a new born after that. Language is super hard!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Ol' Grey Mare View Post
    IIRC there was already some frustration on your part due to the demands of the course and how that impacted his ability to help you around the house, etc during his non-school hours. With that in mind, if he re-cycles you will be starting over from day 1 of the course and facing all those same weeks of frustration with a toddler and a newborn, instead of a toddler and a pregnant wife - how many weeks has he already done that you would basically be tossing out and redoing the frustration of?
    He would be starting from day 1 BUT he would already know what they are learning in the first couple months so it would be like a refresher course for him, which would be good because he is having a hard time with it so he wouldn't be just tossing it out he would still be in the same language just starting from the beginning again.


  10. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #10
    You seem pretty set about what you want to do. I hope it works out how you think it will!
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