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Thread: Bedsharers... I need your help

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    #1

    Bedsharers... I need your help

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    So, after this thread: Swaddle
    we pretty much quit cold turkey on the swaddle....... and started bedsharing.

    While I love this feeling and the bond, I also need to have adult time with my husband, and we cant have that right now because she sleeps with her head on my arm, and it takes SO LONG to get out from under her, and then a majority of the time she wakes up, and by the time I can finally get free, we are both just ready to go to sleep.

    So, we had the idea to sidecar the crib. Great and all, except, she doesnt use it. She still sleeps in my arms.

    She will be 6 months on the 18th, and we would at least like to get her sleeping in the sidecar, or in the crib separated from the bed.


    What tips do you have? I'm not ready to have her CIO I don't think, but I feel like that is where this is going. DH has a three day weekend this weekend, so we are going to try to start the transition when it wont matter if we get sleep.

    Please help me!



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    #2
    I don't have any advice on how to achieve her sleeping in the side crib but I asked my parents once since they bed-shared for seven years straight between my brother and I and they said they rarely had sex in bed/at night, they just found other places to do it while we were distracted/napping/self entertaining.
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    #3
    Here are some things you can try. 4 Ways to Get a Baby to Sleep in a Crib - wikiHow


    I honestly would just let her cry it out, and only pick her up/comfort her if she is still crying after about like 15-20 minutes without stopping(at least that is about how long I waited before ever picking up DD. Normally she'd stop within 5-6 minutes, and go to sleep/start playing with her feet or hands.) Normally after a few times of not caving in and picking them up right away. They start to self sooth and start to realize that you are there and will hold them again. That was the most effective way for me to get DD used to sleeping somewhere else besides in bed with me/where she was being held by me or someone else.. Only took about 3 days before she was completely content and happy about sleeping in her bassinet, swing, pack n play, or bouncer when I was doing stuff. It was SO nice once it got to where she didn't have to be held, or cuddled right up next to me/someone else like my sister just so she'd sleep.
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    #4
    I just really dont think I am ready to let her cry it out.

    I will check out that link. Thanks


    Anyone have any more tips?



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    #5
    Where does she nap? Is it in your arms too?

    My kids shared a bed, but not as long as my youngest. She was there forever. I would really work on the sidecar. Put her in it and lay next to her. You can soothe her while you are right there. It will take awhile, especially when she is used to being in your arms. She is still young though, so after awhile, she'll get the hang of it.
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    #6
    I honestly would start swaddling her again and put her in the crib or just move her to the crib. Aria only slept in our bed for the first month then she was in the Pack N Play swaddled in our room. Once she started getting out of the swaddle then we just left her unswaddled in her crib.
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    #7
    Derren wouldn't sleep in his crib until about 8/9 months (can't remember exactly). For us, the only thing that worked was to let him cry it out. It was hard and a bit of a struggle but it didn't take him long to adjust and now he is a dream to put to bed and sleeps for 11-12 every night! Sorry I have no other tips - we tried everything we could until CIO was the only thing left!

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    #8
    I couldn't let either of my boys cry it out. I know there's nothing wrong with it, but didn't have it in me. Now I kind of wish I had. DS will be 3 and I'm struggling to get him to sleep in his own bed. It's much harder IMO to get them to sleep in their own bed when they can just get up out of bed and walk to your room. Lesson learned for the next time around I guess. Good luck.
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    #9
    We put the crib at the level of our bed right next to our bed. That is where they slept; but, they were near enough.

    That is where naps where and all that stuff.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by twistertwin View Post
    Where does she nap? Is it in your arms too?

    My kids shared a bed, but not as long as my youngest. She was there forever. I would really work on the sidecar. Put her in it and lay next to her. You can soothe her while you are right there. It will take awhile, especially when she is used to being in your arms. She is still young though, so after awhile, she'll get the hang of it.
    For naps she falls asleep in my arms and then I set her in the boppy on the floor in front of me. I try to lay her in the sidecar but she wakes up almost immediately. By the time I get her down and calmed down and back asleep, she wakes back up.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sushi View Post
    I honestly would start swaddling her again and put her in the crib or just move her to the crib. Aria only slept in our bed for the first month then she was in the Pack N Play swaddled in our room. Once she started getting out of the swaddle then we just left her unswaddled in her crib.
    We stopped swaddling because she hated it. :-/ But as soon as she would break out of it, she would wake up mad.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tamzyn View Post
    Derren wouldn't sleep in his crib until about 8/9 months (can't remember exactly). For us, the only thing that worked was to let him cry it out. It was hard and a bit of a struggle but it didn't take him long to adjust and now he is a dream to put to bed and sleeps for 11-12 every night! Sorry I have no other tips - we tried everything we could until CIO was the only thing left!
    Thank you! I feel like that is where this is heading. Im just afraid itll make her hate me. I know that is totally a "new mom" fear but our bond is so strong now and I dont want to lose that.

    Quote Originally Posted by ldk123 View Post
    I couldn't let either of my boys cry it out. I know there's nothing wrong with it, but didn't have it in me. Now I kind of wish I had. DS will be 3 and I'm struggling to get him to sleep in his own bed. It's much harder IMO to get them to sleep in their own bed when they can just get up out of bed and walk to your room. Lesson learned for the next time around I guess. Good luck.
    Thank you, I appreciate it.

    Quote Originally Posted by DakotaCowgirl View Post
    We put the crib at the level of our bed right next to our bed. That is where they slept; but, they were near enough.

    That is where naps where and all that stuff.
    we have the crib sidecarred right now and its not working. She can smell me or something () so she wakes up as soon as I move away.


    Thank you everyone. We are going to keep working on it.



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