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Thread: Recovering emotionally from emergency c-section

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    #1

    Recovering emotionally from emergency c-section

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    I know there are several women on here who ended up having to have an emergency c-section so I was wondering if any of you all struggled to come to terms with that afterwards and I'm especially curious how those with more kids, especially more c-sections, afterwards felt second time around like it
    was better emotionally because it was less stressful.

    I'm still really struggling with my c-section. It's not a daily thing by any means but sometimes a reminder of my birth experience or someone making a comment like "how lucky you are you had a c-section" sends me back into a spiral thinking about it. DD went into major distress when I was barely 2 cm dilated. Because of how fast everything was happening no one told me what was going on all I knew was it was clear something was wrong and I knew that they couldn't find her HR on the monitor for a bit. I was put to sleep thinking that when I woke up I wouldn't have my daughter to hold. It traumatized me.

    Some days I seriously don't want to have another baby because I don't want a repeat c-section but at the same time I don't want to risk ever having another birth be so stressful and out of control. So does it ever feel better the second time around?

    I'm working on finding someone to talk to--trying to find a support group and trying to find a doctor or counselor who at least understands generally why I feel traumatized or why I don't always feel like I gave birth but until I find those things I was wondering how you all felt afterwards and how you healed if you needed to heal.
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    #2
    My csection was something I knew about, and definitely nothing too horrible, but I still get a little weird feeling about it. The awful epidural process I had, the nausea from the antibiotic, the terrifying feeling of my lower body being numb, the now lack of full feeling near my incision. My mom has had two and tells me things I really don't want to hear about them as well. I'm really scared knowing I'll probably get another when I have another baby, but I'm also slight comforted. I will know when my baby will be born, how it will happen, and what to expect. I'll already know the recovery process and what not to do next time.

    I think it's normal to have reservations and some anxiety about it, but if it's more than that it might help to talk to someone. I hope that when the time comes you will be ready and happy with your decision
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    #3
    My C-section with my first daughter was an emergency one and I was very upset about it. She start going into huge distress when it was time to push. I had given birth before and could push a baby out no problem, so I didn't understand what was happening. I didn't have pain meds and it was just a disaster. Next thing I knew, I was getting an epidural and heading in for a C-section. She was caught with the umbilical cord around her next multiple times and was choking when I pushed, so it was for the best. But, I couldn't wrap my head around it for a really long time. She was whisked away to NICU so quickly. It was all so traumatic.

    It took a couple of years to be okay with having another child. I did have a VBAC, so I didn't go through another C-section. But, I did consent to have one if baby went into distress.

    I think that it's normal to be traumatized by it, especially when the situation is so out of control. Just know you aren't alone in what you are feeling.
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    #4
    My c-section wasn't necessarily an emergency but they nipped it in the butt before it became one. I had been in labor for about 17 hours and had only dilated to a 3 and I wasn't progressing at all the way I should have been. Plus my blood pressure was through the roof from the pre-E and they said instead of letting Pai go into distress they wanted to go ahead and just do a c-section and eliminate that possibility. I wish I would have fought harder to keep trying to have her vaginally but after 4 years now I know I did the right thing. I was physically and emotionally exhausted and at 2:00 in the morning, I was really just ready to get it over with and hold my little girl.

    It did beat me up for a little bit after the fact but I think that was a combination of being tired, hurting from the surgery and having complications with breast feeding. I remember sobbing in the hospital thinking I was already failing at everything. I like the idea now that when I do have another baby it will be a planned c-section so I'll have more control over the situation. I am kind of a control freak so it's honestly kind of relieving for me Things can and will get better, just know that they did what was best for you and for your little one you can PM if you ever want someone to talk to


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    #5
    Same story as yours, it all happened so fast, and they strapped me to my bed and flipped it sideways to try and get the HR up as they ran with my stretcher through the hallway to the OR. It's been a very long time, but I found that as my hormones began to balance the trauma begin to diminish, although I can still recall it, the fear subsides. My next pregnancy was so different, I think it helped me not to be so afraid. The C-S. was with my first baby because he was face and losing HR. I have 3 children, and my next 2 were vaginal births. It's unbelievable how much faster a person heals physically, AND emotionally after a VB. Time…...
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    #6
    It's been a year since my emergency c-section and I'm still recovering from it. You have the panic of something being wrong with the baby, then you have the mental/physical trauma of the unexpected surgery. I almost coded and only remember certain parts, but it took a while to stop feeling so anxious over it all.

    If it's really getting to you, talk to someone. That has helped me so much.



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    I hate it when people say "you're so lucky you had a c-section" and the like. I mean, I'm fine with c-sections personally but it's not like there aren't major tradeoffs. It's irritating. It's not a walk in the park.

    Anyhow, mine have all been scheduled and I can tell you that for me they have been remarkably un-stressful. When you're scheduled, you go in a couple of hours before your surgery time, they put you on monitors for a while, they joke around a lot, you get used to your surroundings, usually get to meet some of the staff that will assist in the operation, they talk you through a lot of stuff and you might sign some papers. You usually see your anesthesiologist within the hour before surgery, then again when they take you to the OR. There are people to help you while you get numbed, talk you through, help you get moved around and set up. They take their time making sure everything (including you!) is prepared. During a scheduled c-section, as opposed to an emergency one, they really don't rush anything except the actual getting the baby out part- they do that surprisingly quickly, which is kind of nice actually after all the waiting to get in and get going. Most hospitals will let you do skin-to-skin and nurse right away while they clean up.

    I tell you this because if you do end up with more babies and deciding to schedule c-sections instead of attempting a VBAC, I want you to know that a scheduled c-section can be a peaceful, joyful, non-hectic experience. I agree that counseling could be a great help in dealing with your first experience and the feelings associated with it- I can only imagine how scary that was. I hope you can find someone wonderful and understanding.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by SingWeJoyous View Post
    I hate it when people say "you're so lucky you had a c-section" and the like. I mean, I'm fine with c-sections personally but it's not like there aren't major tradeoffs. It's irritating. It's not a walk in the park.

    Anyhow, mine have all been scheduled and I can tell you that for me they have been remarkably un-stressful. When you're scheduled, you go in a couple of hours before your surgery time, they put you on monitors for a while, they joke around a lot, you get used to your surroundings, usually get to meet some of the staff that will assist in the operation, they talk you through a lot of stuff and you might sign some papers. You usually see your anesthesiologist within the hour before surgery, then again when they take you to the OR. There are people to help you while you get numbed, talk you through, help you get moved around and set up. They take their time making sure everything (including you!) is prepared. During a scheduled c-section, as opposed to an emergency one, they really don't rush anything except the actual getting the baby out part- they do that surprisingly quickly, which is kind of nice actually after all the waiting to get in and get going. Most hospitals will let you do skin-to-skin and nurse right away while they clean up.

    I tell you this because if you do end up with more babies and deciding to schedule c-sections instead of attempting a VBAC, I want you to know that a scheduled c-section can be a peaceful, joyful, non-hectic experience. I agree that counseling could be a great help in dealing with your first experience and the feelings associated with it- I can only imagine how scary that was. I hope you can find someone wonderful and understanding.
    That's nice to hear, because I'd really like that with my next one. With my emergency c-section, after they got Landon out, I got to see him for about a minute before they took him and DH away (he'd been having bowel movements so they needed to get the meconium out of his lungs), and that part freaked me out more than the c-section itself. Being left, tied up, with no one around, and no nurses even to talk to me and keep me calm while the doctor talks about my organs he's currently moving around....was horrifying to me. I had such a panic attack that they told me if I didn't calm down they were going to sedate me and then I wouldn't remember much about Landon's first moments with me, so I forced myself to calm down.

    Other than that, I was kind of prepared for a c-section. I'd been in labor for 25 hours, his heart rate was dropping when they upped the pitocen, he was having bowel movements since they broke my water 20 hour earlier, and I wasn't dialiating...so I had come to terms with the fact that I was probably going to end up in an emergency c-section. The during surgery and recovery directly after were the most traumatizing parts to me because I couldn't feel my lower extremities and they wouldn't sit me up until about 30 minutes after I was in the recovery room, so I couldn't even SEE my lower extremities, which I knew would make me feel better to do.

    All that being said, my overall recovery was pretty easy, so I'm definitely choosing another c-section next time around, even if VBAC was an option for me (which it isn't anyway ).


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    #9
    I had an emergency csection because DS's heart rate dropped in the 60's and they ran me down the hallway. I made it to 4 cm. They put me under and my husband didn't get to go in the operating room so we have nothing at all from his first breaths. I didn't wake up til three hours later and was patting on my belly asking if I was still pregnant. The csection doesn't bother me as much just the way it happened and that neither of us have those memories of his first moments and just wasn't as special. I got to my room and they wheeled my baby in as I was puking so it def wasn't everything I imagined it would be.
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    #10
    First off, so many . My first was a quick easy vaginal delivery, but LM was an emergency c-section. I can related with everything you posted. It's extremely hard still (2 yrs later) for me to accept. My birth with this 3rd pregnancy is quickly coming up and my emotions are all over the map. I hate my CS incision. I hate the pain it causes me, it never did fully heal. I hate hearing it tear and rip inside my head as I get bigger and baby E moves more and more this pregnancy. It is emotionally very challenging. We fought with the idea to have another because it was so hard on me but ultimately wanted just 1 more. (She kept turning and tangling which is finally why I was CS, then I lost so much blood because of other scars that I needed 2 transfusions. She was NICU for a day. It was awful.) This will be our last as I cannot physically, emotionally, mentally handle the stress of having another. My body cannot either. We are working hard towards a VBAC this time but I have accepted that IF I have to have another CS I would rather have it planned in hopes it goes better than have to be another emergency. Ultimately at this point, I am just ready to be done and never do it again. A BIG HUGE HUGE difference for me this time is that I 10000% trust and love my doctor and I know that HE is handling everything/anything no matter what and that is comforting to me.

    I had some pretty bad PPD after my CS and honestly, it almost destroyed my marriage because I couldn't see just how bad it was. I didn't get the support I needed and had many many people, still do, that respond to me about my CS with "oh well at least she's healthy" or "it could have been worse" or "at least she wasn't preterm" etc etc and they all make me want to punch them in the face because it still eats me up. I still become extremely emotional about it. It is still and always will be very hard for me. Finding a doctor and or support group to help you process those feelings and to know that they are completely okay to have will be a big help. Also please feel free to PM me anytime at all.

    I think if you decide to have another baby the biggest thing for easing your fears and pain is to really really really search for a doctor that you love. Or even a midwife/doula. Whatever you are comfortable with. Someone that will be and is attentive to every aspect of what you need and how you need it. I was very lucky to be able to have found that this pregnancy otherwise IDK what I would have done. My doctor has been amazing this time and even was super comforting yesterday when I had a total meltdown in his office about this baby and this baby's birth and the troubles we are having.

    Many again hun.
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