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Thread: Working moms. Tips and words of encouragement needed.

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    #1

    Neutral Working moms. Tips and words of encouragement needed.

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    The time has come. I'm going back to work on Monday.

    I am having mixed emotions. On one hand I feel guilty and depressed at the thought of leaving DS. I'm afraid he won't remember me anymore, I'm afraid of missing milestones, I'm afraid he will miss me.

    On the other hand, I miss working. Playing spit the paci out for 30 minutes at a time and vacuuming the apartment every day gets old. I miss feeling productive, I miss social interaction, and the feeling of accomplishment I get from working. I feel guilty saying that.

    I guess I need to hear I'm not a bad mom for working. Realistically we can't afford to live well without my check. I know working will give him a better quality of life and we'll be able to afford a nice place to live, toys, trips, etc. But I need him to still love me and miss me and I feel jealous that he won't be depending on me 24/7 anymore. That sounds so dumb but it's how I feel.

    I'm also concerned about my schedule. I fear I'm going to be a zombie. He's on a solid schedule of waking up around 12, 3 and 6 am to eat. He always goes back to sleep but I don't know how to handle that when I have to work 8 hours.

    He won't eat more than 2-4 oz at a time but I wish I could get him to feed more less often to get him to sleep longer. I guess that will just come in time.

    How did you deal with going back to work? Any advice? Words of wisdom? Tips?




  2. I was the perfect mom, until I had kids.
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    #2
    I don't have any advice on it, but I do want to say that you are not a bad mom for going back to work, and you shouldn't feel guilty for missing it. You may be a mom, but you're still a woman and a person, and if working is what makes you feel productive and gives you the social interaction you crave, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

    Yes, he will probably miss you, he may even cry when you leave, but your his mommy, he won't forget you, and it won't be detrimental to him in any way. It will just make seeing you again that much more exciting for him, and for you.


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    #3
    You're not a bad mom for going back to work the first couple of days was rough. I bawled like a baby when I dropped her off at daycare for the first time. But it gets easier and it was also this amazing opportunity for Paityn to grow and develop interactions with other kids as well! I know she gets bored being around me all the time

    But you'll be okay! Tip wise, I don't really have much advice but you guys will find a routine to make it work and eventually it will get easier and easier!


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    #4
    You're not a bad mom at all

    My Mom always told me that if she had been a SAHM, she would have been bored out of her mind and gone completely insane-- and it's true! My Mom is a constantly moving, producing, doing her own thing kind of woman. She was active duty Air Force when I was born (and for years afterwards), so she worked long hours and I didn't sleep through the night for ages. But she still did great (both at work and at home) and I was STILL crazy about her-- I've always been extremely close to my Mom. She made sure that we did a bunch of supplementary stuff and we went to every aquarium, zoo, children's museum, grown-up museum, historical site, cultural event, etc. in like a 100 mile radius (sometimes more-- when we were living in LA, she took me up to Vancouver to see their famous aquarium because I was really into marine biology).

    As much as she worked and I was a lock key kid for a while (while she was a single mom), I never doubted how much my Mom loved me. She was ALL about me and I always knew that. Your son can still feel just as loved, cherished, and as much of a priority as he would if you were staying home.
    ​​​

    “Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” -- Carl Sagan

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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by *IGrow'EmXL* View Post
    I don't have any advice on it, but I do want to say that you are not a bad mom for going back to work, and you shouldn't feel guilty for missing it. You may be a mom, but you're still a woman and a person, and if working is what makes you feel productive and gives you the social interaction you crave, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

    Yes, he will probably miss you, he may even cry when you leave, but your his mommy, he won't forget you, and it won't be detrimental to him in any way. It will just make seeing you again that much more exciting for him, and for you.


    Also, on the sleep thing, remember that he won't be on that schedule forever. As he gets a little older his pattern will change and he may start to eat more/less often for you. Forgive me for lack of clear memory, but is your husband there with the two of you or not at this point? I ask because with your return to work it may be the time to negotiate those night time feedings so that you are both taking one/two instead of one person (you) doing them all.
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    #6
    as a mother has who worked from day one of motherhood... this too shall pass.

    you will see milestone, he will still love you... you might up end up cherishing and loving him even more. You can enjoy him being a child/baby. Instead of being his caregive 24 hours a day, and getting overwhelmed with it, you will learn to just enjoy him.. instead of constantly having to change him, clean him, pic up after him. etc... they don't stay babies forever.. when he hits the toddler years, you could be thankful that someone else will get to deal with the tantrums and such ...

    your feelings are all natural and normal, but they will pass. The first few days are the hardest.. but seeing his smiling face when you pick him up will make it all better.

    There are 10 types of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't
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    #7
    I don't work but I take B to daycare. I catch shit for it sometimes because he goes even though he doesn't need to. But I can tell you that he is a much happier baby now that he goes. He gets to play and interact with other kids. It nipped his mommy mommy all the time attachment phase in the bud. The first month he cried a lot but now he is all smiles when I drop him off and pick him up. He still loves me I get a little jealous sometimes of the relationship he has with his providers but I know it's good for both of us.
  8. Life is an adventure!
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    #8
    you are not a bad mom at all! Like others have said, the first couple days are the worst.

    The sleeping definitely gets better, just hang in there. When I first when back to work I was walking around like a zombie. You just push through.
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    #9
    Obviously I don't have any advice, but I wanted to offer
    You will find what works for you, and you are in no way a bad mother for going back to work.



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    #10
    You are not a bad momma!!!
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