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Thread: Feel like such a failure ...

  1. Junior Member
    Tamzyn's Avatar
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    Feel like such a failure ...

    I can't breastfeed my son I've tired everything (so please dont try and suggest ways to do it - I literally have tried everything), worked religiously with my lactation consultant, spent so much time and money on ways to get my son to latch and my supply up. I have been supplementing and pumping (so he has had some breast milk) - but the pumping takes up hours and hours of my day (it takes an hour to pump 2oz from both breasts combined). I am exhausted, emotional, and feel useless. My family have gone back to England, my husband returns to work next week. I cannot physically keep up what I am doing when I am by myself with my son. My family have seen first hand how much this is affecting me and have urged me to move exclusively to formula so that I can enjoy these times with my son, instead of beating myself up when trying to feed him from my breast, being hooked up to a pump for half the day unable to move when he cries. I cry almost everyday about these issues - I feel like I'm failing my son and my body is useless. I read comments and articles and I feel like I'm going to kill my son by feeding him formula, that I'm not trying hard enough .. basically that I'm a horrible mother.

    I'm sorry for the rant .. I just had to get it out somewhere

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  2. Senior Member
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    The fact that you have tried so hard shows that you are an amazing mother. Your soon will thrive on formula. He will be just fine. I know its hard, but please try not to be so hard on yourself. You are not a failure.
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    It could be worse.

    You aren't a failure to yourself or your son. Don't think that way.

    Bottom line, feed your son. Feed your son in the way that works for the two of you. Everyone else can kick rocks.
  4. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    You are not a horrible mother! He will be just absolutely okay on formula, millions of babies are fed formula and they are just fine. You gave him a great start with the amount of breast milk that you could give him and now you're making sure that he is being nourished now with formula. The fact that you care so much about making sure that he's fine and healthy shows that you're a great mother
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  6. The name says it all!
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    I know how you feel, hon. When we first brought baby girl home, I tried so hard to breast feed baby girl but I was exhausted, was suffering from some pretty rough ppd and dh went back to work 2 days after I came home. (WTF?!)

    You are in absolutely NO WAY a bad mother. I had to switch over to formula when we figured out baby girl was lactose intolerant. She's way ahead in size and brain function according to the doctors, so don't think for a second that your son won't do the same.

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn View Post

    You aren't a failure to yourself or your son. Don't think that way.

    Bottom line, feed your son. Feed your son in the way that works for the two of you. Everyone else can kick rocks.

  9. Praying for a Miracle
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    You are NOT a bad mother! My daughter and I had a very hard time breast feeding. I almost gave up. Our situation improved with a few visits to the lactation consultant, but that is not the case for everyone. While I was struggling, someone said to me, "Babies are made with love not boobs."
    I felt so guilty reading on line all of the people saying how terrible formula is - that's not true. I also tried to exclusively pump - I was spending all of my time pumping and not bonding with my baby.
    In the end, do what works for you.

    Pleeeeeease stick!!!
  10. Breathe and chill
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    you are definitely NOT a failure! You've done everything in your power to try and sometimes, it's just not meant to be. It's more beneficial and less stressful to just bottle feed in the end.

    One of my BFF's at work IS a lactation consultant and wasn't able to feed her son; she felt so guilty until she finally made the decision to stop, she said it was like a weight just lifted and she was able to enjoy her son stress-free.

    You're an awesome mommy with an adorable little boy! Do what you need to do and you'll both soar!
    Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like a boss.

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