Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: Saw the doc today (TMI and kinda long)

  1. MilitarySOS Jewel
    honeybun's Avatar
    honeybun is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Oceanside, CA
    Posts
    7,288
    #1

    Saw the doc today (TMI and kinda long)

    Advertisements
    The good news: My uterus is not prolapsed and my vajayjay is NOT going to falling out like I thought. I can also start running and exercising again, taking otc pain meds if needed for discomfort.

    The bad news: My bladder is not quite where it is supposed to be (it “dropped”), and I have had a slight vaginal wall collapse and a full blown rectal prolapse. He made me look at it with a mirror and it looks AWFUL. But he kept insisting it happens to a lot of women and is totally fixable.

    The dilemma: I need surgery to basically “reconstruct” it all. To make matters worse, I need to make a decision on if I want to have the surgery before or after having more children. If I have it before, I will not be able to have another child vaginally, doc says planned c-section only. He (like me) is NOT a fan of c-sections and said my other option is to just leave it until I am all done having kids (at which point it likely will be really falling apart and possible have gotten worse) and then have it. He thinks that is more favorable.

    There are a lot of factors for DH and I to consider including how it will impact our life, possibly having to limit the number of children we have, how we would prefer to have them brought into the world, etc.

    Honestly, I care more about being able to have natural births and DH cares more about avoiding me being in pain and discomfort now. I was able to get him to agree to waiting and seeing how I handle after he gets home, and that if it is painful and that gets in the way of the AMAZING life we are used to having I will have it. I know he doesn't care about the cosmetic part of it, although he is really curious to see However, he is convinced he is going to break me somehow or that I will develop and aversion to because I am self conscious about it looking and feeling different.

    I know I probably sound selfish, but I really just want my natural births and am scared to death of having a c-section. My doctor supports that, but nobody else seems to.

    I cried the whole way home. The pros and cons are just so hard for me to weigh. I feel like my body has turned into a beat up old car and I don’t know what to do.

    BiggyBiggs...the Wifey that makes me go "WoW"
  2. Living in paradise :D
    BlueButterfly505's Avatar
    BlueButterfly505 is offline
    Living in paradise :D
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Hawaii
    Posts
    8,640
    #2
    That's really tough. Sounds like a good plan to wait until he comes home and see how things go. It also gives you more time to think about it all, let it all really sink in, and be more certain about what you want to do.
  3. MilitarySOS Jewel
    HollySunshine's Avatar
    HollySunshine is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Eielson AFB, AK
    Posts
    21,037

    #3


    Wish I had some words of wisdom but I'm glad nothing to horrible is wrong. Hope you make your decision easily.
  4. sassypants
    WiggleWiggle~'s Avatar
    WiggleWiggle~ is offline
    sassypants
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Encinitas
    Posts
    8,499
    #4



    birth is a very personal thing, im sorry you have to make a choice lke that
    rocket_liz is my wifey
  5. I was the perfect mom, until I had kids.
    *IGrow'EmXL*'s Avatar
    *IGrow'EmXL* is offline
    I was the perfect mom, until I had kids.
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Near Knoxville, TN
    Posts
    36,179
    #5
    I'm sorry you're in this position I never got the chance to have a vaginal birth so it's easy for me to say that you shouldn't take your chances and get it fixed ASAP....but I can definitely understand that vaginal birth is very important to you and in that case I'd definitely weigh the pros and cons of both and see how comfortable is with the hubby is before making any decisions


  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
    mxchick910's Avatar
    mxchick910 is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Me: Nor Cal... Him: the dusty side of the world </3
    Posts
    2,067
    #6
    I've not had any children. So from my point of view: I'd say get this fixed. You can still have children, which is the most important thing to you, you just have to alter the method of having your children. I mean, you're already in pain, doing things like jogging was hurting you. You're already regularly taking ibuprofen for the pain. Your sex life WILL be different, it will feel different, and likely it will hurt. And then, if you do continue to wait, and you get pregnant, how do you think it will all feel when there is the extra pressure on that area, and then trying to get a baby out of there? It seems like it is just a down-hill slope to me, you KNOW it isn't going to heal itself, so it can only get worse.

    I'm really sorry you're going through this, I can tell you're very passionate about having a natural birth, but I thought I'd offer up my honest opinion instead of just saying "wellllll if that's what you want to doooo....". I think it could be good for you if you want to wait until your DH gets home, and see how things go. I just hope that everyone's opinions have helped you in some way. We're still here to support you no matter what path you choose. And I really hope you find some relief with all of this.

    DB: "Hey woman, listen up. I love you. Now shut up and kiss me."
    Me: "What sparked that sudden outburst?!"
    DB: "I just love you. You are beautiful. You are sweet. And you are MY baby. And I miss you."

    Nickelknack is my wifey
    EverlastingLove and crimson_heart07 are my bestest buds!
  7. Senior Member
    utemhsa's Avatar
    utemhsa is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Fort Fail (Sill)
    Posts
    1,217
    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by mxchick910 View Post
    I've not had any children. So from my point of view: I'd say get this fixed. You can still have children, which is the most important thing to you, you just have to alter the method of having your children. I mean, you're already in pain, doing things like jogging was hurting you. You're already regularly taking ibuprofen for the pain. Your sex life WILL be different, it will feel different, and likely it will hurt. And then, if you do continue to wait, and you get pregnant, how do you think it will all feel when there is the extra pressure on that area, and then trying to get a baby out of there? It seems like it is just a down-hill slope to me, you KNOW it isn't going to heal itself, so it can only get worse.

    I'm really sorry you're going through this, I can tell you're very passionate about having a natural birth, but I thought I'd offer up my honest opinion instead of just saying "wellllll if that's what you want to doooo....". I think it could be good for you if you want to wait until your DH gets home, and see how things go. I just hope that everyone's opinions have helped you in some way. We're still here to support you no matter what path you choose. And I really hope you find some relief with all of this.
    I agree with this. And how long are you going to be able to tolerate these things (the different feeling sex, needing pain meds, being self-conscious)? How long until you plan to have another child? Those are things to consider.

    I, personally, do not plan to have any more kids. But that doesn't mean it won't happen. BUT if I was in your boat, I would get it fixed and try to have your body back 100%. I totally get the natural birth being important, I was adamant about it. But in the end, to me, the result is the child, and if that meant needing a c-section to get them here safely (to them and to me), then so be it.

    Like she said though, it's YOUR decision, and everyone supports you. I'm so sorry you're even having to make a decision like this and for the physical and emotional pain it's causing you. I hope you and your DH can work it out, and get to a happy place
    Our sweet girl is here!
    ZoŽ Marie- 11.02.11!



    http://princessgirlface.blogspot.com/
  8. MilitarySOS Jewel
    honeybun's Avatar
    honeybun is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Oceanside, CA
    Posts
    7,288
    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by *IGrowPeople* View Post
    I'm sorry you're in this position I never got the chance to have a vaginal birth so it's easy for me to say that you shouldn't take your chances and get it fixed ASAP....but I can definitely understand that vaginal birth is very important to you and in that case I'd definitely weigh the pros and cons of both and see how comfortable is with the hubby is before making any decisions
    Quote Originally Posted by mxchick910 View Post
    I've not had any children. So from my point of view: I'd say get this fixed. You can still have children, which is the most important thing to you, you just have to alter the method of having your children. I mean, you're already in pain, doing things like jogging was hurting you. You're already regularly taking ibuprofen for the pain. Your sex life WILL be different, it will feel different, and likely it will hurt. And then, if you do continue to wait, and you get pregnant, how do you think it will all feel when there is the extra pressure on that area, and then trying to get a baby out of there? It seems like it is just a down-hill slope to me, you KNOW it isn't going to heal itself, so it can only get worse.

    I'm really sorry you're going through this, I can tell you're very passionate about having a natural birth, but I thought I'd offer up my honest opinion instead of just saying "wellllll if that's what you want to doooo....". I think it could be good for you if you want to wait until your DH gets home, and see how things go. I just hope that everyone's opinions have helped you in some way. We're still here to support you no matter what path you choose. And I really hope you find some relief with all of this.
    Quote Originally Posted by utemhsa View Post
    I agree with this. And how long are you going to be able to tolerate these things (the different feeling sex, needing pain meds, being self-conscious)? How long until you plan to have another child? Those are things to consider.

    I, personally, do not plan to have any more kids. But that doesn't mean it won't happen. BUT if I was in your boat, I would get it fixed and try to have your body back 100%. I totally get the natural birth being important, I was adamant about it. But in the end, to me, the result is the child, and if that meant needing a c-section to get them here safely (to them and to me), then so be it.

    Like she said though, it's YOUR decision, and everyone supports you. I'm so sorry you're even having to make a decision like this and for the physical and emotional pain it's causing you. I hope you and your DH can work it out, and get to a happy place
    Pretty much everyone agrees with these. I am kind of an odd duck I guess. Doing it either way is going to make furture pregnancies a little more risky and likely a lot more uncomfortable so I think I keep holding on to that. I guess only time will tell at this point.

    Thanks everyone for all the ans support. I really need them.

    BiggyBiggs...the Wifey that makes me go "WoW"
  9. i will NOT limbo in Idaho
    chickadeebaby's Avatar
    chickadeebaby is offline
    i will NOT limbo in Idaho
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Hurlburt Field, FL
    Posts
    3,669
    #9
    I say your current plan is probably the best. See if it impacts your quality of life and if the pain eases up.
    After having her 5th child my sisters uterus flipps completly upside down and had to be removed. Sex for her was unbearable.
    I would think that by not getting it fixed and trying to have another vaginal birth you are putting yourself at risk for more damage and a more serious surgery. However, I TOTALLY understand your desire to not have a c-section. It scares me too.
    In the end the decision for me would come down to how much it effects my abilities to be a mother and wife and fulfill all of the things that calls for.
    I'm LeAndra

    Married to James since October 2008
    Lorelai Feb 2010
    Beckham July 2012
    I am a Christian & SAHM/W

    If you have any questions about massage therapy, breastfeeding, natural birth, Your Baby Can Read, teaching kids sign language or whatever...feel free to ask!
    PS~ Please excuse any typos for the time being...I've almost always got an arm full of baby
  10. Banned
    JasonsGirl's Avatar
    JasonsGirl is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Manhattan/Ft. Riley, KS
    Posts
    19,803
    #10
    That happened to my mom as well. Luckily, she already had to have a full hysterectomy so she didn't have to deal with the future pregnancy aspect of it.

    I hope you and your hubby are able to come to a decision that works best for you guys! again.
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •