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Thread: High needs babies?

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    #1

    High needs babies?

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    Last edited by lisa0323; 01-11-2010 at 11:09 AM.
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    I had the 'needs to be held ALL.THE.TIME.' problem with molly. Not so much wanting to nurse all the time and she was okay in the car but she needed to be held all the time by me. I put that in past tense because she is SO much better now that she is crawling and learning to walk. She still likes to be able to see me and her favorite thing to do is climb on me... but I can set her down a LOT more now to play on her own so I can do whatever.

    It is such a relief to me that she is growing out of it... hopefully Josefine does too My theory is that Molly is doing better because I did always hold her. People like my mom would tell me to put her down and just let her cry for a few minutes while I got things done but she was so little that I felt bad doing things that didn't absolutely have to get done if she would cry. I wanted her to know I was there and loved her... and now she knows it and knows she can go off and play because I'll be there when she needs me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheBryTree View Post
    I had the 'needs to be held ALL.THE.TIME.' problem with molly. Not so much wanting to nurse all the time and she was okay in the car but she needed to be held all the time by me. I put that in past tense because she is SO much better now that she is crawling and learning to walk. She still likes to be able to see me and her favorite thing to do is climb on me... but I can set her down a LOT more now to play on her own so I can do whatever.

    It is such a relief to me that she is growing out of it... hopefully Josefine does too My theory is that Molly is doing better because I did always hold her. People like my mom would tell me to put her down and just let her cry for a few minutes while I got things done but she was so little that I felt bad doing things that didn't absolutely have to get done if she would cry. I wanted her to know I was there and loved her... and now she knows it and knows she can go off and play because I'll be there when she needs me.
    That's the best thing to do. You can't "spoil" a baby by holding them too much (although people tried to convince me otherwise, that my then three month old was spoiled because I held her when she wanted me to...).
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amy View Post
    That's the best thing to do. You can't "spoil" a baby by holding them too much (although people tried to convince me otherwise, that my then three month old was spoiled because I held her when she wanted me to...).
    yeah, my mom kept telling me I had to let her cry because she needed to learn to sit on her own and I needed to learn to get things done with her... it drove me bonkers because what I NEEDED to do was care for my baby's needs... including her emotional ones.

    I wouldn't want to be set down either if I spent 9 months folded up and held all comfy and warm i'd want time to feel safe in this big weird world
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheBryTree View Post
    yeah, my mom kept telling me I had to let her cry because she needed to learn to sit on her own and I needed to learn to get things done with her... it drove me bonkers because what I NEEDED to do was care for my baby's needs... including her emotional ones.

    I wouldn't want to be set down either if I spent 9 months folded up and held all comfy and warm i'd want time to feel safe in this big weird world
    My grandmother in law tried to convince me that Autumn was spoiled- she shouldn't be held all day, shouldn't sleep in my bed with me, because I didn't just let her CIO (which babies aren't even able to do at that age). If they're crying, it's because they need something- even if it is a need to be held.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amy View Post
    My grandmother in law tried to convince me that Autumn was spoiled- she shouldn't be held all day, shouldn't sleep in my bed with me, because I didn't just let her CIO (which babies aren't even able to do at that age). If they're crying, it's because they need something- even if it is a need to be held.
    I'm lucky... My grandma TOTALLY jives with me on all my parenting opinions... in fact, she is basically the version I want to be. I love when she comes to visit because she is the only person I trust completely to babysit Molly
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheBryTree View Post
    I'm lucky... My grandma TOTALLY jives with me on all my parenting opinions... in fact, she is basically the version I want to be. I love when she comes to visit because she is the only person I trust completely to babysit Molly
    My grandmother was trying to give Autumn jello when she was about 6 months old.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amy View Post
    My grandmother was trying to give Autumn jello when she was about 6 months old.
    oh my...
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    #9
    Alec is that way too, he loves to just be held, I'm lucky for maybe 30 mins when i can put him in his walker but other than that he has to be in my lap

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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by lisa0323 View Post
    Any other mamas of a high needs baby?
    I love m daughter sooo much, but she is a very needy little baby girl. This is new territory for me, as my son was super easy going and laid-back baby.

    Josefine never wants to be put down, she has to be held pretty much all the time. She is a big time nurser and refuses any sort of pacifier (except me lol) and she hates the swing. She does OK in a front carrier (I think I need a sling) and hates the car. She sleeps fairly well at night though, so at least that is something.
    Not sure where I am going with this post, just feel the need to vent and commiserate I suppose. I feel like everyone else has "normal" babies that don't need constant holding.
    Most of the time it doesn't bother me too badly, but I feel pretty burnt out at times.

    I keep holding out hope that she will turn a corner and become this awesome baby/toddler and really neat kid and not stay attached to me and my breasts for the next 18 years.
    I could have wrote the bolded part myself. Sounds exactly like Kaia. My only relief is the fact that she sleeps all night.
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