Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: Worried

  1. Captain's Wife
    jojojo's Avatar
    jojojo is offline
    Captain's Wife
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    762
    Blog Entries
    2
    #1

    Worried

    Advertisements
    So I have posted about this somewhat before but I have SOOOOOO much on my mind lately that I just need to get this out....I truly, truly need help....

    (recap for those that do not know) Jack was born the day before my husband left - husband was home for 3 weeks and then left again, this time for his long deployment....

    One would think that with it just being my son and I that we would bond. Well I know that he and I must be bonding naturally but STILLLLLL I have these feelings that this baby is my husbands baby and I am just taking care of it - that is how it feels....I cannot truly grasp that Jack is mine. He looks like daddy which doesn't help - because I think if he looked like me I would make the connection more readily. I love Jack please dont misunderstand but its just that something doesnt feel right - its like I'm watching this baby and waiting for my hubs to come home....which I need to stop waiting because its only been 7 weeks and I have a long way to go....

    EVERYONE says "oh dont worry he knows you're his mother" but really I dont feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel that way in my heart. I dont KNOWWWWWWW that he knows that I am his mother. I am soooooo sad and hurt and angry that the child WEEEEEE planned is being raised without his father. DOES ANYONE else have this disconnected feeling - someone else that has had a baby when daddy has been gone that feels like I do?

    Am I nuts? I am sooooo sad all the time and I sometimes think why am I not fanatical about my son? I wanted a baby for so long - we tried for awhile....why am I not goo goo ga ga over him? I have been talking to a guy (cause military ppl get the 6 free) and all the guy says is that I shouldnt worry we are bonding.....blah.....

    Please help
  2. wishin
    sailornwife's Avatar
    sailornwife is offline
    wishin
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    MD and VA
    Posts
    2,516
    #2
    it sounds like the start of post pardom. mine started about 6-8weeks pp. hubby was still deployed for the birth and from the min she was born i didnt care. i didnt want to hold her or see her. i never felt close to her. the list goes on. talk to your doc. sometimes just talking to someone doesnt help. I hope you can get some help but i do understand if you want to pm me. i swear it changes.
    Sometimes the smallest things take up the biggest space in your heart.
  3. Account Closed
    epete6501's Avatar
    epete6501 is offline
    Account Closed
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Camp Lejeune, NC
    Posts
    1,683

    #3
    Not trying to offend you or ask something too personal, but have you thought it may be a little post-partum depression? It kinda sounds like it. It is very common, but you should see your doctor.
  4. MilitarySOS Jewel
    TaraB's Avatar
    TaraB is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    3,213
    #4
    While it's great that you are talking to someone, I would make an appointment with your doctor. Be honest with him/her about how you are feeling. It does sound like postpartum depression.
  5. Captain's Wife
    jojojo's Avatar
    jojojo is offline
    Captain's Wife
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    762
    Blog Entries
    2
    #5
    Thanks girls...I take him places and see ppl and I'm not a total frump but I just want to know if the deployment is causing mixed up feelings between being sad about him leaving and being happy for the arrival of my son.....?????
  6. Captain's Wife
    jojojo's Avatar
    jojojo is offline
    Captain's Wife
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    762
    Blog Entries
    2
    #6
    I just want to die right now....I just want to screammmmmm......sometimes I feel guilty for feeling this way.....so angry at my husband....but I am! There I said it I AM MAD AT MY HUSBAND FOR LEAVING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  7. Senior Member
    LauranwithanA's Avatar
    LauranwithanA is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Arlington, Texas
    Posts
    3,267
    #7
    while i dont know what that feels like, its something i worry about because DF is leaving soon. he wasnt here for my first trimester and i thought he missed out on alot. now he works until the late late evening and hardly EVER sees ellie. so i know about the taking care of alone thing.

    when she was first born, i didnt feel attached to her. she was in the nicu and she just didnt feel like mine. i always went down there with df and i felt SO BAD for not just DYING to want to be there''

    a few weeks later the attachment thing grew on me and i feel better now. im sure things will get better but it'll take time. i think you should tell your dh a little how you fee, but not so much that he will worry a whole lot. maybe he'll be able to help you with words

    . i dont know what else


  8. Senior Member
    HeatherA.'s Avatar
    HeatherA. is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    JAX, FL NAS
    Posts
    2,410
    #8
    Maybe it is just normal. I bonded w/ my son immediately. We are very close, he is very attached to me......but, even at 11 months I sometimes feel like I am "babysitting" or he isn't really my baby. I love him so much, it overwhelms me sometimes, and I guess I just don't feel like it is real? Maybe that doesn't make sense, but it isn't always post partum. I am not sad about any of this, it is just weird to me.

    Hang in there!!
  9. billys*princess's Avatar
    billys*princess is offline
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    109
    #9
    another thing that you may want to consider....how was the relationship that you had with your mother growing up? i had those very same feelings with all 3 of my children, but i know that its directly related to how i was raised. (i dont feel like that any longer, i promise you it gets better...) if you need to just talk with someone who knows what you're going thru, just pm me.

    i know it sucks.

    billy: you are more than a princess though......you're also all i think about!
  10. cabbage and gravy
    Staystrong130708's Avatar
    Staystrong130708 is offline
    cabbage and gravy
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Me-Scotland, Him- somewhere in the sea
    Posts
    1,695
    Blog Entries
    1
    #10
    i think the first thing you should do is probly go see your doctor and be completly honest. to me it sounds like post natual depression but thats just what i think. i hope everything works out for you though best of luck pm me if you ever jus need someone to have a vent to xox

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •