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Thread: please tell me it's okay

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    #1

    please tell me it's okay

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    DD has thrown a little temper tantrum every time I try to leave her after her first wake up at night. She did this last night and tonight. Last night I gave in and put her in my room with me because I thought maybe she wasn't feeling well but tonight I am just letting her CIO a bit. She'll cry and then stop and then start crying again. She's so tired but just won't give in.
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    #2
    It's always tougher on us than it is them, IMO. Jackson cries at naptime but he usually gets over it pretty quickly. He tries to pull the same thing at bedtime but DH puts him to bed and all he has to do is tell him to get back in bed and be quiet and Jackson listens, but if i did that, he would have a huge meltdown ANYWAYS, stick to your guns and put some headphones on or something. The first few days are always the toughest, or so I think
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    #3
    It's ok.

    She will get ledd and less crying as the nights go on.

    I would put on a little soothign music in another room, for both of you.
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    #4
    i need to post something in the SG about this further
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    #5
    I think it's normal. DS does that still at bedtime and he is almost 19mos. Hopefully it won't last too much longer. He will scream until he falls asleep. What's worse is he's in his "big boy bed" now, and so he will climb out. And sometimes he will fall asleep on the floor. It's heartbreaking for us. But like someone else said, it's harder on us than it is them.
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    #6
    (((HUGS)))
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    #7
    My brother had the same problem, I dont' know if he still does it or not. He would throw such a fit when it was bedtime and he couldn't sleep with either my sister or my parents. There were nights I would come home from work and trip over him on my way to the shower in front of my parents room. That was almost two years ago, he'll be 7 next month.
    Both my youngest siblings are spoiled though. I think it depends on the parents. It is tougher on the parents though.
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    #8
    Here is a suggestion....tantrums come out of control and wanting to get there there way. This may take a few nights and be prepared for loss of sleep. I am sure as a mom this is old news =). Put DD to bed and evertime DD gets up, put DD back to bed and do not say anything, give hugs, give kisses, back contact, or bargin. This may sound harsh, but once you have given in DD has already won. It may take 75 tries in one night. Hope this works!!
    ~JANA~
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    #9
    I think its ok Jill. Babies have to cry sometimes and you can't have her in with you forever.
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    #10
    This is a somewhat sensitive subject for me personally. I am not a believer in the CIO method for various reasons, all of which I have researched. My suggestion is to really look into any and all books/info from Dr. William Sears. Here is an excerpt from some of his sleep expertise:

    Dr. William & Martha Sears M.D.

    Authors of 30+ pediatric books, articles in parenting magazines, and appearances on television programs such as 20/20, Donahue, Good Morning America, Oprah, CBS This Morning, CNN, NBC's Today Show and Dateline.

    Sleep is not a state you can force your baby into. Sleep must naturally overtake your baby. Your nighttime parenting role is to set the conditions that make sleep attractive and to present cues that suggest to baby that sleep is expected. Best you can do is to create a secure environment that allows sleep to overtake your baby. A realistic long- term goal is to help your baby develop a healthy attitude about sleep: that sleep is a pleasant state to enter and a secure state to remain in.

    Get Baby Used to a Variety of Sleep Associations

    The way an infant goes to sleep at night is the same way she expects to go back to sleep when she awakens. So, if your infant is always rocked or nursed to sleep, she will expect to be rocked or nursed back to sleep. Sometimes nurse her off to sleep, sometimes rock her off to sleep, sometimes sing her off to sleep, and sometimes use tape recordings; and switch off with your spouse on putting her to bed.

    There are two schools of thought on the best way to put babies to sleep: the parent-soothing method and the self-soothing method. Both have advantages and possible disadvantages.

    1: Parent-Soothing Method

    When baby is ready to sleep, a parent or other caregiver helps baby make a comfortable transition from being awake to falling asleep, usually by nursing, rocking, singing, or whatever comforting techniques work.

    Advantages:

    * Baby learns a healthy sleep attitude - that sleep is a pleasant state to enter and a secure state to remain in.
    * Creates fond memories about being parented to sleep.
    * Builds parent-infant trust

    So-called "Disadvantages": Because of the concept of sleep associations, baby learns to rely on an outside prop to get to sleep, so-as the theory goes-when baby awakens he will expect help to get back to sleep. This may exhaust the parents.

    2: Self-Soothing Method

    Baby is put down awake and goes to sleep by himself. Parents offer intermittent comforting, but are not there when baby drifts off to sleep.

    So-called "Advantages": If baby learns to go to sleep by himself, he may be better able to put himself back to sleep without parental help, because he doesn't associate going to sleep with parents comforting. May be tough on baby, but eventually less exhausting for parents.

    Disadvantages:

    * Involves a few nights of let-baby-cry-it-out
    * Risks baby losing trust
    * Seldom works for high-need babies with persistent personalities
    * Overlooks medical reasons for night waking
    * Risks parents becoming less sensitive to baby's cries

    Remember, in working out your own parenting-to-sleep techniques and rituals, be sensitive to the nighttime needs of your individual baby and remember your ultimate goal: to create a healthy sleep attitude in your baby and to get all family members a restful night's sleep.





    Renee
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