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Thread: Wanting this style of parenting

  1. browneyedbeauty's Avatar
    browneyedbeauty is offline
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    #1

    Wanting this style of parenting

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    So lately Andrew and I have been discussing different things we'd do if we'd have kids. (Him for the third time.)

    The only thing he really supports is breastfeeding. I mentioned babywearing and he was like as long as it's one of those backpack style ones sure. I said well don't you think a newborn would be more comfortable in a sling. And he was like "If you want to hold the baby like that there are these things called arms." (At this point he's looking at me like I'm fucking stupid.) I said well what about if you want to have your baby close to your heart while you work around the house? And he said "Oh that sounds great. You can wear the baby while cooking and drop it on the oven. Smooth."


    He had smart ass comebacks for most everything.

    How did you talk to your spouse about attachment parenting? I....this is something I really want for future kids and it'd be nice to be on the same page.
  2. Mrs.Trouble
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    Is he a reader?
    If he is you could dig up some articles online about the benefits of attachment style parenting.

    If he's not a reader, you can still dig up those articles and read them yourself. Then you can comeback to his comebacks with scientific proof as to why this method is the way you want to go.
  3. browneyedbeauty's Avatar
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    Nooooooooooooooo he is NOT a reader.

    But that sounds good.
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    I couldn't be with someone who doesn't genuinely consider the things I want in my life and just dismisses them as if it's the stupidest thing he's heard. I don't know how you do it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by goldilockz View Post
    I couldn't be with someone who doesn't genuinely consider the things I want in my life and just dismisses them as if it's the stupidest thing he's heard. I don't know how you do it.

    I'd be HIGHLY offended and hurt that he wouldn't even CONSIDER my thoughts and just MOCKED me instead. how completely disrespectful!

    [my] Andrew doesn't care about any of that stuff... so long as the baby is safe and healthy, Andrew could care less if I want to wear baby. He is even all for cloth diapering "as long as [he] doesn't have to wash them or they get washed with [HIS] clothes"
    I'm glad for that... it makes my job easier... I just discuss with him what I want to do... and he supports it

    of course.. with that means I will often have to be the bad guy when it comes to discipline... but I'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I just care that he knows about what is going on and is happy.
  6. browneyedbeauty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goldilockz View Post
    I couldn't be with someone who doesn't genuinely consider the things I want in my life and just dismisses them as if it's the stupidest thing he's heard. I don't know how you do it.
    Tawny it's not like he's doing it to be mean. It's just....he genuinely doesn't get it. Like when he says he wants Hamburger Helper and I say you can make that dish from scratch. He looks at me like I'm speaking Yiddish or something.

    Kinda one of these looks: I actually got the screwy face without the finger last night when we were talking about babywearing.

    It's not disrespect it's just different for him. We were raised very different and what's right is right and what's wrong is wrong in his head.
  7. browneyedbeauty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bryanna View Post

    I'd be HIGHLY offended and hurt that he wouldn't even CONSIDER my thoughts and just MOCKED me instead. how completely disrespectful!

    [my] Andrew doesn't care about any of that stuff... so long as the baby is safe and healthy, Andrew could care less if I want to wear baby. He is even all for cloth diapering "as long as [he] doesn't have to wash them or they get washed with [HIS] clothes"
    I'm glad for that... it makes my job easier... I just discuss with him what I want to do... and he supports it

    of course.. with that means I will often have to be the bad guy when it comes to discipline... but I'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I just care that he knows about what is going on and is happy.
    Yeah I mentioned cloth diapering and he was like ??? Then he told me there was a reason for the plastic and that it was to keep the crap in it.



    It's not coming from a disrespectful place and that's why I don't get offended.
  8. Mrs.Trouble
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    My husband is really confused about the whole attachment style parenting, too. I really want to do it (if/when) we have squeekers. He thinks it's odd, his mom was very hands-off. My mom did something very similar to attachment parenting with my little brother and he's the happiest kid in the world.

    I just figure he'll go along with whatever I'm doing when the time comes. They're men, what do they really know about mothering?

    When I talk to my DH about it, I use a lot of references and such. He's very methodical and he likes data. I present it like a court case. When he completely understands where I'm coming from, he's much more likely to come along with me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by browneyedbeauty View Post
    Yeah I mentioned cloth diapering and he was like ??? Then he told me there was a reason for the plastic and that it was to keep the crap in it.



    It's not coming from a disrespectful place and that's why I don't get offended.
    cloth diapers have the outer plastic stuff too
    AND they are more cost efficient, reuseable, and better for the environment!
    I mean... if nothing else.. it saves him money haha
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    I think to have kids with someone it helps to have someone on the other side of the bed that has similar ideas relating to raising the children. You have a long, hard road ahead if he keeps up that attitude. It can't make you feel very good to be dismissed like that, either
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