To all of SOS (My Mom died update) - MilitarySOS in the Spot Light

CoffeeGirl · 03-31-2009, 06:14 PM

This has been the most insane last 24 hrs & I am still reeling from it all. After I got the news last night, I was just numb, absolutely numb & when I heard the news, I didn't believe it could actually be true. I felt a heat rush through my whole body & was just speechless. Throughout the night, I finally cried, then I would just think, think, think & get real quiet. The last time I talked with my Mom was about 2 yrs ago when my Dad had a mini stroke and I was worried so I called & she & I got to clear some of our issues then & we said I love you----I do love her, she is My Mom, yes she ****ed up on so many levels in certain things that she did when raising me & her choices are things I would NEVER do for my kids, I deserved better & my kids deserve better too.

Regardless she is my Mom who birthed me & loved me, I slept horribly, had a upset stomach all night, had diarhhea(sp?) all night & all day so far today-I know TMI) & I did dream of her too-I dreamt of her wallet(not for $ purposes) I was simply looking through her wallet & looking at pix & just checking each compartment in the dream. I have no idea what that means but I will look it up-Anyways, after the struggle she & I have had in the last 5 yrs, I have still decided to go to her services & pay my last respects-I have not yet come to the realization that I have a "loss" but I am very fully aware & standing in the fact that my Dad has lost his partner of 44 yrs & my heart breaks for him-I talked with him just about 20 mins ago & he is doing as well as can be expected, but crying too-He sounds........................... small, cruched & defeated, understandably. I just don't know what to say or how to comfort him although I want to. I told him that I DO love him, I did love her & that I am proud of him for being strong. wow this **** is surreal-I have cried on & off all day & I went to work cause I would have stayed home & just gone crazy. I feel broken & numb all at the same time.

Anyways, on to the shout-out part-I have been on SOS since it began

& I have never received the

or outpouring of support & encouragement that I have since this happened. I simply want to thank each & every person who replied or who has pm's me or whatever-I am astonished by the

& kind words & thoughtfulness. I appreciate each & every sentiment & I want you to know that I am going to work on the forgiving her part so please when you read the words in my siggy, please think of my Mom & send her some kind vibes up there ok?? Thanks-I know she is happy now, up there with her uncles, her parents & her brother. I have to start thinking of good times........... sorry for rambling & thank you

Lastly I found out she died of natural causes.............................

Kala · 03-31-2009, 06:15 PM

Aurora · 03-31-2009, 06:20 PM

I missed that post but I'm so so sorry for your loss

I think it is wonderful that you can find some forgiveness and you and your family will be in my thoughts

CoffeeGirl · 03-31-2009, 06:29 PM

*Kate* · 03-31-2009, 06:32 PM

Valkyrie · 03-31-2009, 06:35 PM

Brialee · 03-31-2009, 06:35 PM

Dawna, you're someone I have always admired. I'm sorry you're going through this and I'm thinking of you

.

military sister · 03-31-2009, 06:37 PM

I am sorry for your loss and you and your family will be in my thoughts...

Serpentine · 03-31-2009, 06:38 PM

I bet it's going to be an interesting journey...getting to a place where you can sort through your emotions and feel O.k...I hope you're able to get there soon!

Roboto · 03-31-2009, 06:38 PM

03-31-2009, 06:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
CoffeeGirl Java Queen Extraordinaire Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Arizona Posts: 56,459 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 20% Longevity: 82%	To all of SOS (My Mom died update) This has been the most insane last 24 hrs & I am still reeling from it all. After I got the news last night, I was just numb, absolutely numb & when I heard the news, I didn't believe it could actually be true. I felt a heat rush through my whole body & was just speechless. Throughout the night, I finally cried, then I would just think, think, think & get real quiet. The last time I talked with my Mom was about 2 yrs ago when my Dad had a mini stroke and I was worried so I called & she & I got to clear some of our issues then & we said I love you----I do love her, she is My Mom, yes she **ed up on so many levels in certain things that she did when raising me & her choices are things I would NEVER do for my kids, I deserved better & my kids deserve better too. Regardless she is my Mom who birthed me & loved me, I slept horribly, had a upset stomach all night, had diarhhea(sp?) all night & all day so far today-I know TMI) & I did dream of her too-I dreamt of her wallet(not for $ purposes) I was simply looking through her wallet & looking at pix & just checking each compartment in the dream. I have no idea what that means but I will look it up-Anyways, after the struggle she & I have had in the last 5 yrs, I have still decided to go to her services & pay my last respects-I have not yet come to the realization that I have a "loss" but I am very fully aware & standing in the fact that my Dad has lost his partner of 44 yrs & my heart breaks for him-I talked with him just about 20 mins ago & he is doing as well as can be expected, but crying too-He sounds........................... small, cruched & defeated, understandably. I just don't know what to say or how to comfort him although I want to. I told him that I DO love him, I did love her & that I am proud of him for being strong. wow this ** is surreal-I have cried on & off all day & I went to work cause I would have stayed home & just gone crazy. I feel broken & numb all at the same time. Anyways, on to the shout-out part-I have been on SOS since it began & I have never received the or outpouring of support & encouragement that I have since this happened. I simply want to thank each & every person who replied or who has pm's me or whatever-I am astonished by the & kind words & thoughtfulness. I appreciate each & every sentiment & I want you to know that I am going to work on the forgiving her part so please when you read the words in my siggy, please think of my Mom & send her some kind vibes up there ok?? Thanks-I know she is happy now, up there with her uncles, her parents & her brother. I have to start thinking of good times........... sorry for rambling & thank you Lastly I found out she died of natural causes............................. __________________ When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done, help me leave behind some reasons to be missed. Don't resent me when your feeling empty,Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest leave out all the rest

03-31-2009, 06:15 PM	#2 (permalink)
Kala is it Christmas Time yet?! Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Camp Lejeune Posts: 6,425 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 86% Longevity: 18%	__________________ I've got googly eyes for missmaaaine, I'm head over heals for [JJ], I'm all sexed up for Mrs. Nimkumpoop Lovin my complete opposite CubLub63 & HeatherNichole's mistress

03-31-2009, 06:20 PM	#3 (permalink)
Aurora Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 5,712 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 18% Longevity: 45%	I missed that post but I'm so so sorry for your loss I think it is wonderful that you can find some forgiveness and you and your family will be in my thoughts __________________

03-31-2009, 06:29 PM	#4 (permalink)
CoffeeGirl Java Queen Extraordinaire Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Arizona Posts: 56,459 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 20% Longevity: 82%	__________________ When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done, help me leave behind some reasons to be missed. Don't resent me when your feeling empty,Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest leave out all the rest

03-31-2009, 06:32 PM	#5 (permalink)
Kate Lounging with ocean breezes and palm trees Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Hawaii Posts: 13,091 Classifieds: (1) Activity: 24% Longevity: 45%	__________________ Needs work.

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03-31-2009, 06:35 PM	#6 (permalink)
Valkyrie Don't go where I can't follow! Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Camp Pendleton Posts: 6,149 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 42% Longevity: 38%	__________________ http://www.suicidequeen.com/lotrindex.html

03-31-2009, 06:35 PM	#7 (permalink)
Brialee Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 2,455 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 20% Longevity: 71%	Dawna, you're someone I have always admired. I'm sorry you're going through this and I'm thinking of you .

03-31-2009, 06:37 PM	#8 (permalink)
military sister Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: cloverdale, indiana Posts: 1,201 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 20%	I am sorry for your loss and you and your family will be in my thoughts...

03-31-2009, 06:38 PM	#9 (permalink)
Serpentine I know where you blog! Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: East Coast Posts: 7,066 Blog Entries: 2 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 83% Longevity: 18%	I bet it's going to be an interesting journey...getting to a place where you can sort through your emotions and feel O.k...I hope you're able to get there soon! __________________ Pssst... NO MORE TICKER

03-31-2009, 06:38 PM	#10 (permalink)
Roboto bend...and snap! Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow Posts: 4,091 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 91% Longevity: 17%