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Thread: East Bay Area's aggression towards U.S. Military

  1. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
    Tojai's Avatar
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    #11
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    I agree it's ignorant to resort to personal attacks, I just think when it comes to personal insults (for anybody, not just military) that someone who is starting a conversationlike that isn't really going to be very open to being "educated" about why they should be grateful. Conversations with people like that ime consist of them dragging you down to their level and then winning because they're better at being petty. I get that you feel that ignoring them is counterproductive, but it's probably going to be hard to find a productive option here.

    As for gratitude, again that's an opinion thing, people are within their rights not to feel gratitude. Expecting gratitude is setting yourself up for disappointment imo.
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    #12
    But I don't think their opinions are based on ignorance.
    Another thing to realize is that not all military spouses have similar opinions concerning the military.
    some examples:
    They are not fighting for my freedom.
    they are not hero's just because they put on the uniform.
    Burning the American flag and criticizing the governent is one of the best ways to show knowledge and understanding of our rights and constitution.
    we were wrong to invade and interfere in the middle east.
    the militany has nothing to with the reason I speak English.
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
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    #13
    How often does this topic come up in conversation? I honestly can't even remember the last time I talked to someone outside the military about the military. Anyway, I don't think it's productive in the least to argue with anyone about it, especially if the automatic assumption is that they need educating.
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    #14
    How do these people know your SO is military? Most of the time people don't need to know unless you want them to.
  5. aka Milfon2Wheelz
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    #15
    Quote Originally Posted by anthropology View Post
    Hi everyone!
    I am from the very liberal East Bay Area CA.
    In my experience, people in the Bay are very intolerant of those serving in the U.S. Military. Of course it is not as outwardly aggressive as it was during Vietnam, but there is still lots of passive hostility. Berkeley is notorious for activists getting the Marine recruiting station out of town, since it was too close to UC Berkeley. My guy is coming up on his graduation, and I've already gotten a lot of heat. Most people around my area say, "well obviously he doesn't have a brain to think for himself." or "He's just protecting the global banks at the cost of the 99%." I find this rhetoric offensive and unrealistic. Yes, there is corruption in the military, just like there is corruption within any system, but we shouldn't insult our individual service members for it. The overall political ideals do not welcome with military, they believe we need to implement stronger international policy and decrease military sending. I am having a hard time enjoying this transition due to all the ignorance. I am a very left-wing liberal, but at the same time I know the U.S. needs a military and I support our service members. Has anyone experienced this? How did you handle it?
    Why do most people in your area know he's even in boot camp?
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    #16
    Perhaps it's the area of the country that I live in, but I've only encountered two people that are like what you describe. That's not to say that there aren't people who think certain military campaigns (like Iraq) was a bad idea to initially get involved in, but not people specifically blaming military members for the decisions of the government. I agree with the other replies that said basically ignore them, and that it's none of their business. In my case that wasn't a choice.

    The first person was a supervisor for my former SO, who was deployed to Iraq with the ARNG. When the tour was over, the supervisor said my S.O. no longer had a job there. The supervisor specifically mentioned that opposition to the war was the reason, and that my S.O. "chose" to go. This particular company has government contracts, and supposedly can't hold a government contract and discriminate against members of the military. When my former S.O. informed someone in the guard unit that was an attorney, he called someone at the company, the supervisor was demoted, and my SO got the job back. Ironically the person that replaced the former supervisor was a former marine, although that had nothing to do with his promotion. The ex supervisor eventually ended up quiting, claiming a hostile work environment based on their political beliefs. The truth was this person was simply a bad and incompetent employee, was only getting by before because the person was a supervisor, and it was well documented. When you're incompetent and a jerk supervisor and get demoted, your coworkers aren't going to automatically love you.

    The other person is a coworker, and when the movie American Sniper" came out, some coworkers were talking in the breakroom about how great they thought it was. One employee however thought Chris Kyle was a villian not a hero, hated the idea of the movie (hadn't seen it) hated not only the war but also service members in general. It was known to some of my coworkers that I was dating a deployed soldier, and one of them asked me my opinion of the movie. I didn't have one because I hadn't seen it yet. I really didn't want to get involved in the discussion, but the anti military coworker asked me if I knew how many people my BF had killed, and how could I possibly date someone who has "murdered" people. She claimed to ask this out of concern for me, since in her opinion all soldiers that come back suffer from PTSD, and are basically ticking time bombs, waiting to commit domestic violence or something worse. Also that all deployed soldiers are cheaters, because a man can't go that long without getting it from somewhere. Although her comments made me angry, I wasn't going to react to her in any way that would get me in trouble with my employer. It wasn't like anyone was going to change her mind by arguing with her anyway.
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    #17
    IME, arguing with people does NOTHING. People have an opinion, and no matter how much you want to “educate” that person, they’re going to still have the same opinion.

    You need to learn how to bite your tongue and walk away. Walking away makes a bigger statement than you think.




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    #18
    We're from the north bay, and when my husband was at basic I encountered a lot of negativity. I had an "I heart my soldier" sticker on my car and a protestor knocked on my window and told me that if I really loved him he wouldn't be a soldier. I learned to just not mention it in casual conversation. People believe what they believe and they don't want you to change their minds.
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    #19
    I live in the East Bay too - I'm so sorry you're hearing this kind of talk from people in your social circles.
    I find that it's best not to talk about his "job" with anyone that I don't know well.
    I don't have any stickers on my car.
    I agree with the advice here of not trying to "educate" people if they express negative opinions - that they have their opinions and taking the time to try to change their minds will just be an exhausting and fruitless exercise. You can just tell them that you don't agree and leave it at that, or just smile politely
    Thankfully I haven't run across any of this sort of behavior, but I don't run in any particularly collegiate crowds
    Also, while I'm pretty liberal, I work in an industry with lots of Republicans, so I may be somewhat sheltered...
    In any case - hopefully you'll be able to find a way to excuse yourself from hearing from these particular people, and stick to the people who don't pass judgment :-)
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    #20
    Growing up in CA I can understand what you are saying. When my nephew made his choices be known ( about joining the military) he received tons of negative attention. His friends did not support him at all. As hard as it might be you just have to ignore the negative and give the support needed.
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