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Thread: Wasn't sure whether or not to post this here.

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    RebeccaLea's Avatar
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    #1

    Wasn't sure whether or not to post this here.

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    I had to write a narrative essay for class describing a personal experience. I decided to write about my friend's funeral. I was only allowed to make it 2 pages or I could have gone on a lot longer... but tell me what you think?


    Anticipation didnít keep me from flinching at the crack of each rifle. I stood in the cemetery with my heels sinking in the ground, trying to ignore the sweat trickling down my arm. The sun bore down on us, and the July afternoon was so bright I could hardly keep my eyes open. I struggled to swallow, choking back tears as I placed a comforting hand on my friendís shoulder. She wept openly, and each sob deepened the pit in my stomach. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on relaxing, but was only overwhelmed with the emotions of the past few days.

    My fiancť, Mitch, had been deployed to Afghanistan three months earlier. Our poor communication and the dangerous nature of his job caused me many sleepless nights. I, like many other military significant others, tried not to fear the worst. Doing so became difficult when my worst nightmare came far too close for comfort.

    ďJustus didnít make it,Ē I heard her sob on the other line. I couldnít even begin to process the words spoken by my good friend. Didnít make it, I repeated in my head. Didnít make it? When I ended the call, I felt like I was in a complete haze. Like the rush of a crashing wave, I was flooded with dread and the harsh truth sent shivers through my body. I fell over my lap like I had just been punched in the stomach, and felt the grief contort my face. Justus didnít make it. The gravity of those simple words felt like the weight of the world on my shoulders. Justus and Mitch were in the same unit. The depth of my fear and emotion was too complex to describe.

    I made the trip to Justusís funeral in Polo, Illinois. His family was a welcoming group of people who didnít have to try very hard to make everyone feel at home. Justusís friends were his family, and his family loved us as such.

    Hundreds paid their respects at the viewing, and then the closest friends and family piled into cars to make our way to the cemetery. As we drove onto the house-lined streets, I was rendered speechless by what I saw. Citizens throughout the entire city came out of their homes to stand on the sidewalks, holding American flags to pay their respects to their hometownís fallen Marine. I was moved to tears by the patriotism and support shown to Justusís family in their time of great loss.

    You think youíve heard a sad song- and then you hear Taps played by a Marine at a fallen heroís funeral. The folded flags send our nationís condolences to his mother and wife. When the ceremony was over, the solemn walk back to the car led to the discovery of a short but sweet email from Mitch on my cell phone. What I felt in that moment was what I can only describe as humble gratitude.

    Mitch returned home from Afghanistan six months later. It was very bittersweet to welcome them back with the knowledge that the number of men returning home was less than the number that left.

    Iíll always hold onto the good memories of Justus that I have. His funeral was the saddest, yet most moving thing I have ever experienced and I will never forget it.


    Of course it was all MLA and fancy... that's just the basic draft. Any suggestions are welcome.
  2. Do or do not... There is no try.~ Yoda, Jedi Master
    Crystal's Avatar
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    #2
    Wow. TFS... reading through it, it felt like I was there.
    I'm not Lynn, but we ARE MSOS Best Friends and MSOS Twins.
  3. cuz i'm wonderful
    linzerfufu's Avatar
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    cuz i'm wonderful
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    #3
    Amazing. It's beautiful, Rebecca.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Crystal View Post
    Wow. TFS... reading through it, it felt like I was there.
    Quote Originally Posted by oohrah_baby View Post
    Amazing. It's beautiful, Rebecca.
    I'm really glad you like it!
    Maybe a stupid question.. what's TFS?
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    #5
    Wow that was beautifully written. I wouldn't change a thing. and I think TFS means "thanks for sharing" but I could be wrong.
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    #6
    That's an amazing and beautifully written piece.

    My blog: Life, Love, and Lesson Plans My Wedding Blog: Operation: Becoming Mrs. B

    I *Kayla*! She's the best wifey and friend in the world
  7. i request the highest of fives!
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    i request the highest of fives!
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    #7
    very well written.
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    #8
    loved it! you give such amazing details...brought tears to my eyes.
  9. Moooooo!!
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    Moooooo!!
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    #9
    Very well written. Very nice job.
  10. Formerly BooBoo_Bear
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    #10
    Oh wow. That's beautiful. The first line catches you instantly and puts you right there. I'm sorry you have the experience to write something like that, but thanks for sharing it
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