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Thread: DB possibly going active...proud/scared..if i move

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    #1

    DB possibly going active...proud/scared..if i move

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    My DB just told me yesterday he is considering going from National guard to active duty.
    I told him i support him 100% and he asked if i would go with him and I told him of course i would.

    he told me he wants to marry me, but if he goes active we will have to do it fast and not wait for a long engagement or have a big wedding.
    I want to marry him and i def want to have a wedding, even if it is a rushed one i am willing to do it so we can go together when he has a duty station he is sent to.

    This may not be until down the road and several months or a year away but I still get a little worried about moving away from home.
    Him and I are long distance so it will be nice to not be anymore, but being away from family and not knowing anyone and not having any friends scares me.

    I also will have to leave my career and im worried i wont be able to find something i want to do elsewhere or wont get hired.

    Just looking for insights from women how have gone through it or that are familiar with base life.
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by KellyL3 View Post
    My DB just told me yesterday he is considering going from National guard to active duty.
    I told him i support him 100% and he asked if i would go with him and I told him of course i would.

    he told me he wants to marry me, but if he goes active we will have to do it fast and not wait for a long engagement or have a big wedding.
    I want to marry him and i def want to have a wedding, even if it is a rushed one i am willing to do it so we can go together when he has a duty station he is sent to.

    This may not be until down the road and several months or a year away but I still get a little worried about moving away from home.
    Him and I are long distance so it will be nice to not be anymore, but being away from family and not knowing anyone and not having any friends scares me.

    I also will have to leave my career and im worried i wont be able to find something i want to do elsewhere or wont get hired.

    Just looking for insights from women how have gone through it or that are familiar with base life.
    Why do you have to get married quickly if he goes active? and why can't you have a big wedding?


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    I don't think going from NG to active is a super simple process to be prepared for that to take a little while. I don't see why he's already resigning you to foregoing a wedding if he's still only considering going active, you could have plenty of time to plan a wedding.

    That said, once you're married, I think it kinda just depends where you get sent. There are good bases where you won't have much trouble finding a job (depending on how specialized or in demand your field is) but it's also likely you'll be sent to the middle of nowhere or even overseas.

    It wasn't really hard for me to leave my home except for holidays that I missed. We were always home for Christmas but thanksgiving was sad for me and it's my least favorite holiday lol. I just don't like missing out.
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    We would like to be married before he switches so I can go with him and everything is already done . He never said no big wedding, I was thinking out loud. Those werenít my big concerns , itís the mixing part and how to fit in and all
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
    I don't think going from NG to active is a super simple process to be prepared for that to take a little while. I don't see why he's already resigning you to foregoing a wedding if he's still only considering going active, you could have plenty of time to plan a wedding.

    That said, once you're married, I think it kinda just depends where you get sent. There are good bases where you won't have much trouble finding a job (depending on how specialized or in demand your field is) but it's also likely you'll be sent to the middle of nowhere or even overseas.

    It wasn't really hard for me to leave my home except for holidays that I missed. We were always home for Christmas but thanksgiving was sad for me and it's my least favorite holiday lol. I just don't like missing out.
    Yeah I knew he preocess wasnít a quick one , Iím just thinking ahead .
    Yeah thatís what Iím worries about is holidays and seeing my nieces and nephews grow up and all. I know there is a sacrifice I have to make , just donít know how well Iíll deal with all of it and making new friends and all
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    Quote Originally Posted by KellyL3 View Post
    Yeah I knew he preocess wasn’t a quick one , I’m just thinking ahead .
    Yeah that’s what I’m worries about is holidays and seeing my nieces and nephews grow up and all. I know there is a sacrifice I have to make , just don’t know how well I’ll deal with all of it and making new friends and all
    Are there any bases within driving distance to where you are now? He can't up and leave whenever but you can.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by KellyL3 View Post
    We would like to be married before he switches so I can go with him and everything is already done .
    Why wouldn't you be able to go with him if you marry him after he goes Active? I can see it perhaps being an issue if he is stationed OCONUS, but if he is stationed in the states, you could just move to his location. I would not suggest rushing into marriage just because he is going Active.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by KellyL3 View Post
    My DB just told me yesterday he is considering going from National guard to active duty.
    I told him i support him 100% and he asked if i would go with him and I told him of course i would.

    he told me he wants to marry me, but if he goes active we will have to do it fast and not wait for a long engagement or have a big wedding.
    I want to marry him and i def want to have a wedding, even if it is a rushed one i am willing to do it so we can go together when he has a duty station he is sent to.

    This may not be until down the road and several months or a year away but I still get a little worried about moving away from home.
    Him and I are long distance so it will be nice to not be anymore, but being away from family and not knowing anyone and not having any friends scares me.

    I also will have to leave my career and im worried i wont be able to find something i want to do elsewhere or wont get hired.

    Just looking for insights from women how have gone through it or that are familiar with base life.
    Quote Originally Posted by KellyL3 View Post
    We would like to be married before he switches so I can go with him and everything is already done . He never said no big wedding, I was thinking out loud. Those weren’t my big concerns , it’s the mixing part and how to fit in and all
    Quote Originally Posted by KellyL3 View Post
    Yeah I knew he preocess wasn’t a quick one , I’m just thinking ahead .
    Yeah that’s what I’m worries about is holidays and seeing my nieces and nephews grow up and all. I know there is a sacrifice I have to make , just don’t know how well I’ll deal with all of it and making new friends and all
    How old are both of you and what is your career field? Some bases are in the middle of nowhere so finding anything more than retail or fast food jobs can be challenging.

    Why doesn't he delay going active until you can have the wedding you want? What's the rush?

    Probably one of the things I hate most about military life is being away from family. Because of many factors it's not always easy to go home or for our families to visit us.




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    Quote Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
    Are there any bases within driving distance to where you are now? He can't up and leave whenever but you can.
    not super close, but i would be fine driving a few hours.
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    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    How old are both of you and what is your career field? Some bases are in the middle of nowhere so finding anything more than retail or fast food jobs can be challenging.

    Why doesn't he delay going active until you can have the wedding you want? What's the rush?

    Probably one of the things I hate most about military life is being away from family. Because of many factors it's not always easy to go home or for our families to visit us.
    I'm a teacher. and we are 30 and 29.

    We wouldnt rush into marriage, we know we want to be married and be together forever. This is all just an idea for now. I was just looking for advice from people that have been through it

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