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Thread: I have a million questions, so any advice is appreciated!

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    #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
    Wow things have changed for sure, if I hadn't moved home we would've moved to kapolei instead of renewing in Waipahu. It used to take me like 15 minutes to drive to the target over there lol not bad at all. And rent prices were pretty comparable to what we were paying anyway for a WAY nicer area.
    I've house sat for some friends in Ewa/Kapolei many times and if I need to be on base at 630am I have to leave the house at 5am. Some days I'd get there 30 mins early but others I'd be 30 mins late and it's a shorter drive to PH than SB. It's godawful traffic because you can buy a nice new home for what run down places charge for rent. They're trying to put in the monorail to improve traffic but it's failing pretty hard in all aspects. I'm so excited for the day I leave this rock but that's probably going to be a few more years.
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    #32
    I'm not famiiar with Hawaii, but most overseas bases have lending lockers with furniture and kitchen basics. You can check with someone at your DF's gaining command to see if he'd qualify for those after getting married even if he has already received his shipment, so that you will have something before your stuff arrives. Be prepared for shipping your stuff to be extremely expensive, unless we are just talking about things that can be crammed in a few boxes and mailed. But that's still smarter than committing fraud and having your DF send your stuff as his own. Another option would be to store your stuff and live without it for a few years, especially if you can leave it at your parents house. You'd have to pay on your own to get it from there to your next location after Hawaii, but that would probably be much cheaper and easier.
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    #33
    He is currently getting a divorce. Does that mean his orders to HI are unaccompanied? If they are and that is why he will be required to live in the barracks that would be a different situation than someone who is married, going to HI on accompanied orders and allowed to live in the barracks until their family arrives.
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    #34
    Quote Originally Posted by arierosie View Post
    He currently lives off post so it would be pretty easy to swap out my stuff with his, so unless they demand receipts for anything I doubt this will be an issue having them pack it. He will just have to figure out a place to store it once it arrives in Hawaii. Also, I've heard that things are more expensive, but I'm pretty good at finding bargains on furniture and such so I don't believe this will be a problem. The few things I will need I will be able to purchase with my tax return. They have Walmarts, which is where I do 99% of my shopping for everything anyways.

    Going to Hawaii before we're married is only a scenario if he cannot get leave to fly here in January. I didn't plan on wandering around alone anyways?? My boyfriend will be down there already, and he is having his car shipped so that's not an issue. If he's able to take leave in January then we can get married here and I will stay until he finds housing. I would prefer living on base because the schools are better so if there's a waiting list then obviously we will be waiting.

    I don't mean to be rude, but it's really none of your business to question my relationship when I didn't ask for advice on it. For the record, even if he wasn't leaving we would be getting married eventually. He adores my children and neither one of us wants to wait 2-3 years before starting our life together. I'm not a millionaire, but I'm going to go ahead and assume nobody else here is either. I have a friend who made the move to Hawaii to be with her boyfriend and I know for a fact she's not a millionaire. So because my lease is up in October anyways means it's not a smart idea to do what I can to save money? Obviously I don't plan to be here for another year so why would I renew my lease? It would just be money down the drain. I only mentioned the divorce because it won't be finalized before he goes so that's why we have to wait in the first place. Also, his ex has taken care of the filing and it won't be a long drawn out process where he has to pay a lawyer any kind of fees. I plan on getting a job when I'm down there so Hawaii not being livable on a soldier's salary doesn't really affect me.

    Like I said, the plan is to wait for housing on base because of the better schools. I can pay security and rent until BAH kicks in, so that's not a problem. The reason I'm not bringing my car is because I am leasing it and the lease will be up soon. I don't plan on buying an "island beater" but going to an actual dealer so again, this won't be an issue.
    WOAH Nelly! If you're that sensitive you're not going last around here very long....you asked for advice, she gave you advice based on HER EXPERIENCE living with her husband in Hawaii while he was stationed there. She didn't question your relationship she asked gave you some scenarios to consider that some people might not (or she assumed you hadn't because of how your OP was written). We get a lot of new people in similar situations around here and most are very young so it's not uncommon to see someone tell them to ask the question "Would we be getting married now if it wasn't for the military?"

    So, to sum up, you've been given answers to your questions here...being snarky and defensive does nothing for you.



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    #35
    I can't comment about Hawaii, but if his divorce isn't finalized yet, are either of you worried about how it'll appear, with him marrying again as soon as he is divorced? I don't know what his relationship is like with his ex but that seems risky to me, considering how strict a view the armed forces sees these things.
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    #36
    My simple question is this...
    What is your plan for the first 3-6 months of your marriage?

    Meaning, there is a possibility you won't get base housing until June or July (based on your 1/23 marriage date). You cannot get your children enrolled in DoD schools right away, so what is the plan there? Or do they not start school until Fall 2018?
    Where will you live? You cannot live in a hotel for that long, and military will pay nothing towards temporary housing... at all. So what are you going to do? If you go to HI to get married if he doesn't get live, do you plan to go back home and wait?

    there are just so many unanswered questions, and so many scenarios I don't think you have thought through. As someone mentioned earlier, its like you are living a fairy tale and don't understand how this all works.

    Are you prepared to move there and then leave a year later? If his orders are unaccompanied its likely only a 2 year stint... that's barely enough time to get there and get your kids settled. He cannot file for amended orders until you are either married or there (I can't remember which), and there is no guarantee they will be amended.

    Again, too many questions.. Personally, I wouldn't make any plans or arrangements until I knew the divorce was finalized. Anything can happen. So, what's your plan if come Jan and his divorce isn't finalized?

    There are 10 types of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't
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    #37
    Quote Originally Posted by TrishAFSpouse View Post
    Again, too many questions.. Personally, I wouldn't make any plans or arrangements until I knew the divorce was finalized. Anything can happen. So, what's your plan if come Jan and his divorce isn't finalized?
    This is a very good point. Hopefully, everything goes as scheduled with him and his ex, but even with uncontested divorces, sometimes inadvertent delays pop up- a deadline gets missed, the Court or notary is unavailable at the designated time, some detail turns out to be missing from paperwork, and so on and so forth. You may need to leave yourselves a bit more of a buffer time-wise just in case.
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