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Thread: Relocating with High School Kids

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    #1

    Relocating with High School Kids

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    Hey there!

    First of all, thank you for letting me be a part of this group!! It's good to know you are here!

    My question surrounds being transferred. My husband received word that his transfer has been moved up by an entire year. The issue with this is that our son will be a senior in high school. Originally, we were set to transfer late in 2018 after our son had already graduated. This news of being transferred an entire year earlier (because wires got crossed in the higher ups) has not been easy to swallow. Our son has been in our community/school his entire life and to uproot him in the middle of his senior year would be horrible.

    My husband's CO said there was a policy in regards to this situation that says if you have children in their last two years of high school, that you are ineligible for being transferred. Has anyone else heard of this?

    Any direction you can point me in would be fantastic!
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    I've definitely heard of it, and in fact was at a brief a couple weeks ago where the detailers discussed it. I thought it was only for the last year, not the last two years, but I don't have kids so I didn't take notes on it. So I can't help point you in the right direction, but I can confirm it's a real thing. His CO should know or be able to find more details and should be able to work with the community detailer to make sure the rule applies and then get the orders changed or canceled. The SLO (school liaison officer) might also have more info, as might the detailer for your DH's community.

    Or, if worse comes to worse, since this would be in the middle of the senior year, it sounds like you could wait 4-5 months and then follow your DH. There's no rule requiring you move at the same time he PCSes. Obviously that's not ideal, but if the other thing doesn't work out for some reason, it's something to consider if keeping your DH in his school is the biggest priority.

    Good luck!
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    I've definitely heard of it, and in fact was at a brief a couple weeks ago where the detailers discussed it. I thought it was only for the last year, not the last two years, but I don't have kids so I didn't take notes on it. So I can't help point you in the right direction, but I can confirm it's a real thing. His CO should know or be able to find more details and should be able to work with the community detailer to make sure the rule applies and then get the orders changed or canceled. The SLO (school liaison officer) might also have more info, as might the detailer for your DH's community.

    Or, if worse comes to worse, since this would be in the middle of the senior year, it sounds like you could wait 4-5 months and then follow your DH. There's no rule requiring you move at the same time he PCSes. Obviously that's not ideal, but if the other thing doesn't work out for some reason, it's something to consider if keeping your DH in his school is the biggest priority.

    Good luck!
    I'm really excited to know that is an actual thing. While our kiddos won't be this age before DH can retire (if he does go career) it's really nice to know the military sees the importance of continuity with school, especially that close to college.
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    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    I've definitely heard of it, and in fact was at a brief a couple weeks ago where the detailers discussed it. I thought it was only for the last year, not the last two years, but I don't have kids so I didn't take notes on it. So I can't help point you in the right direction, but I can confirm it's a real thing. His CO should know or be able to find more details and should be able to work with the community detailer to make sure the rule applies and then get the orders changed or canceled. The SLO (school liaison officer) might also have more info, as might the detailer for your DH's community.

    Or, if worse comes to worse, since this would be in the middle of the senior year, it sounds like you could wait 4-5 months and then follow your DH. There's no rule requiring you move at the same time he PCSes. Obviously that's not ideal, but if the other thing doesn't work out for some reason, it's something to consider if keeping your DH in his school is the biggest priority.

    Good luck!
    Thank you so much!!!!!!

    I will definitely look in to this and have him do the same. He is also up for re-enlistment in May of next year so that is another factor. There are so many moving pieces but I know they will all fall together. We had thought about me coming out after our son graduates but there is the expense of two households, etc. It makes my brain hurt to go there so I have decided it best to not borrow that and will cross that bridge if necessary!
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    Good news/bad news.

    The good news is that I think I found the MILPER message number that covers the High School Stabilization program, and that that seems to be the official name of the program so your DH knows what to ask for. MILPER Message 03158 released on 1 May 03. And the form to apply for stabilization is DA Form 4187.

    The bad news is that the info I found online (admittedly from a non-official source) says that, "You must apply NLT the start of the student's junior year, and not earlier than March 1 of the student's sophomore year (apply between March 1 and September 1)." Since he's past the start of his junior year (If I'm understanding correctly), if that info is correct, it sounds like you may have missed the window and your DH won't be eligible. They may still be able to work with you, or there may be other details of the program, so it's still worth looking in to. But if that fails, the delayed move for you and your son should still be an option. One thing to consider there, especially if your DH is considering not reenlisting, is that I believe he does have to have some minimum time left on his orders for them to move you, so if you delay too long, that could come up. Since it sounds like this would only be a semester or so, it probably wouldn't come in to play, but it makes sense to be aware of any limits so you can keep that in mind when planning and not end up inadvertently backing yourself in to a corner.

    Also, be aware that if your DH is granted stabilization, that doesn't necessarily mean he'll stay at his current job or command. They can stick him in a stash job. I believe that is one piece of the puzzle that explains why you have to apply early. They need to make sure they aren't overmanned, and that means needing time to move all the pieces on the chess board, find appropriate jobs to extend him, and move him in to those jobs at an appropriate time. Your time line is very compressed, so the options for where he can be sent are going to be very limited since many things will already be finalized. But you can always apply and see what happens!
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    Good news/bad news.

    The good news is that I think I found the MILPER message number that covers the High School Stabilization program, and that that seems to be the official name of the program so your DH knows what to ask for. MILPER Message 03158 released on 1 May 03. And the form to apply for stabilization is DA Form 4187.

    The bad news is that the info I found online (admittedly from a non-official source) says that, "You must apply NLT the start of the student's junior year, and not earlier than March 1 of the student's sophomore year (apply between March 1 and September 1)." Since he's past the start of his junior year (If I'm understanding correctly), if that info is correct, it sounds like you may have missed the window and your DH won't be eligible. They may still be able to work with you, or there may be other details of the program, so it's still worth looking in to. But if that fails, the delayed move for you and your son should still be an option. One thing to consider there, especially if your DH is considering not reenlisting, is that I believe he does have to have some minimum time left on his orders for them to move you, so if you delay too long, that could come up. Since it sounds like this would only be a semester or so, it probably wouldn't come in to play, but it makes sense to be aware of any limits so you can keep that in mind when planning and not end up inadvertently backing yourself in to a corner.

    Also, be aware that if your DH is granted stabilization, that doesn't necessarily mean he'll stay at his current job or command. They can stick him in a stash job. I believe that is one piece of the puzzle that explains why you have to apply early. They need to make sure they aren't overmanned, and that means needing time to move all the pieces on the chess board, find appropriate jobs to extend him, and move him in to those jobs at an appropriate time. Your time line is very compressed, so the options for where he can be sent are going to be very limited since many things will already be finalized. But you can always apply and see what happens!
    Thank you! However, we just got married in November 2016 AND we just found out last week that the transfer was happening October 2017 and NOT October 2018 (which wouldn't matter because our son would have graduated by then). Will they take that in to consideration?
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    Quote Originally Posted by GunnersWife View Post
    Thank you! However, we just got married in November 2016 AND we just found out last week that the transfer was happening October 2017 and NOT October 2018 (which wouldn't matter because our son would have graduated by then). Will they take that in to consideration?
    Honestly I doubt it. But again, I'm not familiar with all the details of the program. I think the point is to apply before you even know about a PCS though. It's sounds like it is not something you do when a PCS comes up. The program intention is to have people apply when their kids are in between sophomore and junior year, regardless of PRD or orders date or whatever. That notifies the military that the service member will be in a non-PCS status, and they can plan accordingly. It isn't intended to be something you do if and when you are expecting orders, so I don't think they change in your husband's dates would matter. But they may still be able to make it happen. It can't hurt to try, and I'd do it ASAP, because the more notice, the better.

    Is staying behind for those not an option? I know any extra separation is always rough, but if the stabilization program doesn't pan out, it seems like that would accomplish your goal. Or, since the PSC is in October, you could go early (if he's got orders) and start your son in school so that at least he wouldn't move in the middle of the school year.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski

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