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Thread: “all others tour” (unaccompanied tour) - Germany

  1. Fresh Newbie
    Manuel350F's Avatar
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    Dec 2016

    “all others tour” (unaccompanied tour) - Germany


    I am posting all over the internet on this. I am not new to the military but definitely new to this situation. Background been in 14 years been through most things military life gives you, but as always there is still more hardship to be uncovered. My second time to Germany.
    Situation: Currently on orders to go to Germany I have elected to do an “all others tour” (unaccompanied tour) so my wife can be with her son. She lost him in a shockingly unfair custody trial (She is not a criminal), so we decided that we would, although heartbreaking, I would go unaccompanied she would go back home to her home of record (where her son is), and she would come visit me for the summer. Luckily, my tour is only 2 years so it won’t be too terrible but I am making plans to ensure everything comes together.
    1. I know the rate of BAH but do I get the with dependents rate or without dependents rate for my wife’s locale?
    2. Do I get the DLA for with dependents or without?
    3. What are some tips for what to do with apartment while she is with me (2-4 mos)?
    4. Advice for keeping our lives together (never did a unaccompanied tour).

    Thanks in advance!

  2. Regular Member
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    fenixphire is offline
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    Nov 2016
    Albuquerque, NM
    I'm no expert, but my husband just left for an unaccompanied tour last month. Here is what I can say based on our experience:

    1. He is getting the BAH and BAS with dependents rate, based on the zipcode for the duty station he left us at. I believe, but am not sure, that he would get the amount for the zip where we were living if we went back to our home of record. Anywhere else, and I think it would default to the prior duty station rate. I am not 100% sure on that, though, so maybe someone else knows.

    2. Not sure what DLA is, but guessing it is something like COLA and/or separation pay (FSH). My husband is getting COLA (without dependents) for his current location, as well as an extra separation allowance. (He is Air Force, so there may be some differences in the names or kinds of pay.)

    3. I think I need more info for this. Are you getting a place just while she is there? Or is it an apartment you are renting on your own the entire time you are there?

    4. Set aside some set time to Skype/Facetime/whatever you like to use to talk to one other "face to face". Even if you don't have much to talk about, sometimes just being on the line with one another and being able to look at each other while you do other things is helpful to feel more connected. My husband is not a phone guy, or a big talker, but he still sets aside a couple of hours on his days off that we can skype. And yeah, a big part of that time is each of us doing our own thing in silence. But just being able to glance at the camera window and see him fidgeting in some familiar way, or being able to say "hey, here is this interesting thing I just thought about" makes the distance feel a lot shorter.

    Maybe find some online games, or movies, or some other interest that the two of you share and can play/watch/whatever together. My husband and I have a every-other-weekly voice-over DnD game we play in together, and sometimes we try to watch the same movie at the same time while on skype together. We call it our "date night".

    Also, try and schedule some "adult time" together, if the two of you are comfortable doing so. It's obviously far from the real thing, but some skype or phone stuff can do a lot to restore some of the intimacy that you're going to be losing over the distance.

  3. Fresh Newbie
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    Hello, thank you for your detailed response.. Your replies answered exactly what I needed to hear. Its going to be hard and I have scouring forums for tips to stay close but I think we can do it.

    I have in my orders for her home of record (So I am good there), we are in WA and she doesnt have any attachments here.. going back home to be with her son is the #1 reason for her not coming with me.

    DLA is Dislocation Allowance kind of a stipend for picking up and moving. I feel like I should get the full rate considering we have to move two homes essentially

    "Adult" time is probably good, we had that time when I went AFG for 4 months..

    again thank you!

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