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Thread: Getting Married then to Duty Station HELP.

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    Getting Married then to Duty Station HELP.

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    In December I will be marrying my best friend of 15 years, after our marriage my husband would like for me to fly back with him so we can get the process started we do not have an apartment, and we plan on trying to get military housing on base. I am very very new to this so I have no clue where to begin he says we can get a hotel and stay in one temporary until we either get a place but staying in a hotel seems so expensive if were not sure how long we will have to stay there can he use BAH for that? or any assistance should I book that now cause I do have the dates already as to when we will be flying to our new home state. I know he won't start getting it until he take in our marriage license along with my other documents, I will change my name and SS/DL right after we wed the following days so I will have everything at hand along with us doing DEERS paper work ect. Then once there figure out if we have to be on a waiting list, I was wondering if they know we are getting married could he put us on the list before getting married???

    We do not want to be married then spend weeks apart as he does leave little later for a deployment. He is currently and E4 and away at the moment so I'd like some guidance or info as to when he gets back what he should do or what questions he needs to ask?


    I'm so overwhelmed with not knowing whats to happen after our wed, but one thing is for sure is he does not want me to stay back when he leaves after the wedding.

    Any tips or advise as to what we could do or maybe help with guidance.
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    Quote Originally Posted by !Rebecca! View Post
    In December I will be marrying my best friend of 15 years, after our marriage my husband would like for me to fly back with him so we can get the process started we do not have an apartment, and we plan on trying to get military housing on base. I am very very new to this so I have no clue where to begin he says we can get a hotel and stay in one temporary until we either get a place but staying in a hotel seems so expensive if were not sure how long we will have to stay there can he use BAH for that? or any assistance should I book that now cause I do have the dates already as to when we will be flying to our new home state. I know he won't start getting it until he take in our marriage license along with my other documents, I will change my name and SS/DL right after we wed the following days so I will have everything at hand along with us doing DEERS paper work ect. Then once there figure out if we have to be on a waiting list, I was wondering if they know we are getting married could he put us on the list before getting married???

    We do not want to be married then spend weeks apart as he does leave little later for a deployment. He is currently and E4 and away at the moment so I'd like some guidance or info as to when he gets back what he should do or what questions he needs to ask?


    I'm so overwhelmed with not knowing whats to happen after our wed, but one thing is for sure is he does not want me to stay back when he leaves after the wedding.

    Any tips or advise as to what we could do or maybe help with guidance.
    Hi, well once you are married he can go into the most local deers office to where you marry (it doesn't have to be the base he is stationed at unless that is where you will be getting married) and get you added. Once that happens he can apply for base housing. How long it will take to get that housing is 100% up to what the needs are for that base at the moment. If they have a lot of need and no houses well the wait will be long. But again it could only take a matter of a few days. Of course you can get an apartment off base or stay in a hotel if you choose. BAH is for that purpose although honestly bah won't pay for very much of a stay in a hotel unless you go very cheap. AND he will not get bah straight away as it most of the time takes several weeks to get it (count on at least a month but some times it takes 2 or 3). Of course he will get back payed but that doesn't help the current need to pay. Soooo, I suggest every spare dollar you both earn, set aside for plane tickets and hotel/apartment costs to help cover the time til BAH kicks in.
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    Yes, don't count on getting in to military housing. Some bases can get you in within a few days or a week. Others have wait lists that are literally a year or two long.

    You can use BAH to pay for a hotel, though whether it covers the full amount will depend on the BAH and hotel rates in your area. Look at the hotel on base as it might have better rates, but look in town as well as sometimes that is the cheaper option.

    Even if they have empty houses, it can take a week or more to get you into one of them, even after he adds you to the DEERS system.

    As SQ pointed out, it can take months for BAH to start showing up. It will be back paid, but you'll still need to be able to pay out of pocket until the money shows up.
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    Hello!


    Wait so after we get married we can go to any local DEERS office in Texas and fill out all the paper work he would have to do if we flew to Cali. then did it??? If he can that awesome because we will marrying with 3 days he's here then have a few days to do name change ect and if we could do that as well so get the process started that would be amazing so we can jump start on it all. I did not know that is that when I can get Military ID ect? And so if we did it here before we left then go to California that's okay?? Will everything already be updates for the Base he is stationed at? Also they do not have a marine base here so it just as to be at a deers office any one?

    And I was reading people talking about TLE is that something he could use?


    We do have money saved up as I currently do work but will not leave my job until those last two weeks before our wedding. And apartment off base just isn't an option its just not realistic for either of us.


    Thank you so much for the feed back anything else at this point.
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    Quote Originally Posted by !Rebecca! View Post
    Hello!


    Wait so after we get married we can go to any local DEERS office in Texas and fill out all the paper work he would have to do if we flew to Cali. then did it??? If he can that awesome because we will marrying with 3 days he's here then have a few days to do name change ect and if we could do that as well so get the process started that would be amazing so we can jump start on it all. I did not know that is that when I can get Military ID ect? And so if we did it here before we left then go to California that's okay?? Will everything already be updates for the Base he is stationed at? Also they do not have a marine base here so it just as to be at a deers office any one?

    And I was reading people talking about TLE is that something he could use?


    We do have money saved up as I currently do work but will not leave my job until those last two weeks before our wedding. And apartment off base just isn't an option its just not realistic for either of us.


    Thank you so much for the feed back anything else at this point.
    First, he should be able to go into any deers office. I am sure someone here knows the link to find one local to where you are but *I* don't know it. Than he would just need to call that office and ask their hours, what is needed etc. I say should because well he should be able to but we all know that should doesn't mean can lol. And yes, doing it in Texas will still update in California (get copies of all papers though to be on the safe side). And branch shouldn't matter.

    TLE is most likely not an option as he is already stationed there and it is when the military member moves. I might be wrong but I don't think I am.

    Well if an apartment is not an option....yeah, just save every single penny you can. If you don't need to spend it to pay your bills and eat than don't. A hotel room for a month will be nearly if not over $1000 and that is for a cheap room nothing nice or extend-a-stay like. When you do get bah most likely as long as you keep your montly hotel cost under 1500 a month his BAH will cover it. It is just the cost until the BAH does show up.
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    Well could get an apartment, but options are so limited and far as well and the amount of space for the amount of money we'd be better off staying on base. I have two pets and in Cali its one pet per room its so weird to me!


    Okay well I will be sure to look and contact that office to see what our options are the base he is at seems to be pretty good with housing hopefully it's not to long, if needed be I can fly back home or while there look for an apartment since I will not be working and actually be able to go in and talk to them face to face its so hard doing it all online!!!!!! His BAH there is not to bad about 1,800 a little more but lord I can't see us putting it all on a hotel if worse comes to worse I could fly home temporary and just wait but I don't see him wanting to do that we'd end up getting a place to live.
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    Villanelle, I pray the waiting list isn't that long can he find out before we are married? Or try and get us on the list.
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    Also do you ladies prefer off or on base? It's hard with not knowing since I will be a first time military wife.... I don't have a clue I wish there was like a page for bases to help guide. We'd love renting a house then apartment. I do plan on working after fully moved as I have options with company in the insurance medical field.
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    Quote Originally Posted by !Rebecca! View Post
    Well could get an apartment, but options are so limited and far as well and the amount of space for the amount of money we'd be better off staying on base. I have two pets and in Cali its one pet per room its so weird to me!


    Okay well I will be sure to look and contact that office to see what our options are the base he is at seems to be pretty good with housing hopefully it's not to long, if needed be I can fly back home or while there look for an apartment since I will not be working and actually be able to go in and talk to them face to face its so hard doing it all online!!!!!! His BAH there is not to bad about 1,800 a little more but lord I can't see us putting it all on a hotel if worse comes to worse I could fly home temporary and just wait but I don't see him wanting to do that we'd end up getting a place to live.
    Quote Originally Posted by !Rebecca! View Post
    Also do you ladies prefer off or on base? It's hard with not knowing since I will be a first time military wife.... I don't have a clue I wish there was like a page for bases to help guide. We'd love renting a house then apartment. I do plan on working after fully moved as I have options with company in the insurance medical field.
    Which base is he headed to? When we were moving from North Carolina to Miramar (San Diego) California they would not put us on the housing list until DH checked out of his squadron in NC. You should have him call housing and see when he will be able to get y'all on the list, but be prepared to be told you won't be put on the list till after you're married. Is he already station in CA (I can't remember if you mentioned it or not)?

    It took around 3 months for a spot in Murphy Canyon housing to open up. We chose to live in base housing because we have 2 large breed dogs and finding a place in town just wasn't worth it. The homes in Murphy Canyon are very nice and pretty large. I really enjoyed living there.




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    Quote Originally Posted by !Rebecca! View Post
    Villanelle, I pray the waiting list isn't that long can he find out before we are married? Or try and get us on the list.
    He can call and ask the housing office for his base what the wait list is like, but most often they will tell you that the time line they give you is purely an estimate. Even when you go on the list you don't get more than an estimate on how long it could or could not take. They have no real way of knowing to be 100% honest.

    Quote Originally Posted by !Rebecca! View Post
    Also do you ladies prefer off or on base? It's hard with not knowing since I will be a first time military wife.... I don't have a clue I wish there was like a page for bases to help guide. We'd love renting a house then apartment. I do plan on working after fully moved as I have options with company in the insurance medical field.
    For me it depended on the location of the base we were at. I have lived on and off. Most time on as it was just easier but off when the costs did not increase significantly.

    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    Which base is he headed to? When we were moving from North Carolina to Miramar (San Diego) California they would not put us on the housing list until DH checked out of his squadron in NC. You should have him call housing and see when he will be able to get y'all on the list, but be prepared to be told you won't be put on the list till after you're married. Is he already station in CA (I can't remember if you mentioned it or not)?

    It took around 3 months for a spot in Murphy Canyon housing to open up. We chose to live in base housing because we have 2 large breed dogs and finding a place in town just wasn't worth it. The homes in Murphy Canyon are very nice and pretty large. I really enjoyed living there.
    This is pretty standard with most bases (from my experiences). But I am thinking he is already stationed there (that is the impression I am getting) so it doesn't matter for that detail. But yeah until you are married and into deers, he can not get on the list for housing. At least in most cases.
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