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Thread: Re:the longest post ever ... ** new posted 1*23*07 **

  1. Senior Member
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    Re:the longest post ever ... ** new posted 1*23*07 **

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    Holy Crud!!! I have to say, when I started this, I had no intention of making it a novel. I had no idea it would ever explode like this. I would have NEVER imagined it would become a 26 page post and still on the first page more than a year later. I want to again thank you all for your continued support. I have received many PMs and Emails lately (due to this being featured on the community page a few weeks ago). Thank you. I will be replying to some of the PMs personally a little later. Unfortunately, my computer died and I didn't have it for about 6 weeks. I am posting a bit more tonight to curb your literary appetites a tad. I have a LOT of work to do on this. Since my computer has been fixed, I have taken some of the suggestions you all have given me and gone back through my story adding and clarifying a bit more. Thank you for your suggestions! In answer to the last poster's question, unfortunately, here I am 2 years after my husband left, and I still don't know WHAT exactly happened! But, I do hope that my story will help other spouses and loved one's notice signs of mental illness in their soldier and be able to empower them to speak up and help their loved one seek the professional help they need regardless of what the military says. Remember, not all our servicemembers will have issues that need professional assistance to get through. My husband had the groundwork laid throughout his childhood. It was all manageable without meds, until he was brought to a warzone. That was the environment needed to help allow the illness to blossom, bloom, and destroy our family.

    Anyway, tonights segment.....

    When he realized how his spending habits were affecting his family, he vowed to change. All these months in Iraq, he had officers and other enlisted soldiers alike jealous of him, of how spoiled he was by his wife. There were even jokes that maybe his wife was “servicing others” to support him during the deployment. He was asked often how he could afford all the was buying over there and all he was splurging on only being an E4. There were single soldiers without children or large debts that weren’t spending money the way he was. It had to stop. He had to let his wife take care of herself. He had to be as frivolous as the other soldiers around him. Even without spending money himself, he still had more than the others since Kerri was so adamant about sending him packages and anything he asked for. Instead of just taking money out of his pay or charging something on his credit card, he would just have to ask his wife to send him what he wanted. He knew she would. He would just have to learn to wait.

    Sitting at the table, looking over the bills, Kerri realized she had to stop enabling Rob. She loved him and wanted to make the deployment as comfortable as she could for him, but she had to stop treating him like one of her children and fixing everything for him. If it wasn’t an immediate need and it wasn’t a bill that had both their name on it, she would have to write the company and let them know that her husband was deployed and unable to make the payment at this time. She had to stop working on fixing his credit report for him. She had to start taking care of her and the children. Guilt overwhelmed her. He worked hard for his paycheck. He was in danger and might not ever make it back to her. Yet, she wanted to use his money for herself and her children. Trying to ward the guilt off, she took out his credit report and added up the highlighted items. She had been able to pay off almost $5000 of his old debt during this deployment. That was pretty darn good! She knew of other wives that put their husband’s further into debt while they were gone.

    Again she wept. She wept of guilt. She wept of loneliness. She wept out of fear. Not just fear for her husband’s life, but fear of failing him as a wife; fear of not being the wife he wanted. Again, the fear of him leaving her upon return crept up. Who would she be without him? What would she do? How would she go on? There were days that, God forgive her, she swore it would be easier to lose him to death than to have him walk out on her.

    The day they first met, she was late. Her babysitter was late by almost a half hour. She and Earl were to go out Christmas shopping but first were expected at a coworkers house for a pre holiday dinner. Being an overly punctual person, Kerri was pacing and cursing Erin for being late. Erin was in the same unit as Earl and Earl was home! What could be taking her so long?

    Finally, she showed up with her boyfriend and another single soldier from the barracks. Right away, Earl was shocked. “Hey Gerke! What are you doing here? You won’t be turning me in for fraternizing with lower enlisted now, will you?” Earl made the introductions. Kerri wasn’t struck by “Gerke’s” appearance. He didn’t appear to her to be a strikingly handsome man. Honestly, Erin had brought over much better looking soldiers for Kerri to feed. Robert (as he introduced himself) had a rough, worked, worn manliness about him. Immediately Kerri had noticed the poor condition and growth of his teeth. But, there was something warm and inviting about him. Kerri welcomed him and made small talk. The rush she had been in to leave, suddenly disappeared. She stood for another 25 minutes or so talking with Robert and picking on him. Finally, Earl made her leave, and she almost dismissed him and told him to go without her. They had been on rocky ground anyway. As a matter of fact, at that point in time, she wasn’t even living with him. She had moved out the previous February because she couldn’t handle the verbal and emotional abuse anymore. The physical assaults didn’t bother her a fraction as much as the name calling, passive aggressive behaviors, guilt trips, financial control, and general feeling of worthlessness she felt around him. But, Earl vowed to change and begged her for another chance. At that point in time, he was “proving” himself to her and putting on a good act.

    She remembered how Robert (later he would tell her that everyone called him RC) quickly became a regular visitor to their base housing. He became another member of the family. Actually, she was quite shocked when Erin and Bobby brought him with them to her stepdaughter’s birthday party. Generally speaking, the guys they brought over were young and didn’t know how to take Kerri’s picking and vocal personality. Usually, one visit was the limit. As a matter of fact, when they walked into Chuck E. Cheese’s for Kaiti’s birthday party, the first thing Kerri said to RC was “Glutton for punishment, huh? You just had to come back for another verbal spanking?” He just laughed, gave her a quick hug and thanked her for letting him “crash” the party.



    AMERICA RULES !!!
  2. Happy little tree
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    #2
    Thanks for posting an update

    Keep up with all of our adventures with renovating a 1960s ranch house - check out MY BLOG!

  3. Senior Member
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    welcome



    AMERICA RULES !!!
  4. NavyWife725
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    #4
    Cool! Are the new segments just going to be posted on here now? That will be awesome!
  5. Senior Member
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    #5
    NO ... i go back and forth... i've been reading her stuff long before she really started putting them together ... I will update it as I see them ...

    I've also invited her over here



    AMERICA RULES !!!
  6. my AOC truly makes me happy
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    #6
    Amazin story
  7. Jen
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    #7
    theres been an update
  8. hurry up and wait....
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    #8
    oh how sad. I hope she will choose to come over to our board and share her story here.
  9. Senior Member
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    #9
    Where are you reading this? I tried googling it but I can't find it on there.
    Under construction...

    Actually highlighting everything and hitting delete was a lot easier than fixing what was here....

    I'll think of something clever to put here someday....
  10. Senior Member
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    #10
    it used to be on pregnancy weekly... but people were correcting her spelling and stuff... and she got upset... so she isn't posting any more untill she gets it all done !!!



    AMERICA RULES !!!

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