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Thread: ex husband fighting PCS

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    #1

    ex husband fighting PCS

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    Please help! My exhusband, who lives three states away, has decided to fight to keep our child at lease at the present base area after we received PCS orders for outside the continental US (not foreign country). I have always given him the summer and at least one weekend per month - usually two even though the drives are excruciating.

    After the divorce, our daughter had a terrible time understanding why her daddy left and why he wasn't coming back (she was three) and she finally has returned to her happy, smiley self She no longer cries over her father, and is very content with her new family life (it's been two years). She is also very excited about having a baby sibling!

    What are the chances her father will be able to block her from moving with us? I would still give him whatever time was possible and feasible, but I am terrified my daughter will have to remain with her father instead. Not only would that break all of our hearts, but I don't feel it's what's best for her. He's not an evil father, but she calls "home" the place where I live and is finally trusting that her life might actually be back to normal.

    Advice? Experiences? Help!
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    #2
    If you get a judge who is sympathetic to dads, his chances are good to keep your from leaving the country. Maybe you guys should have sought orders in the US? Can you get the orders changed? Your argument would be better heard before a judge if you already live "states" away rather than off the continent. KWIM?
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    #3
    First welcome, Please introduce yourself in the newbies section and read the stickies.

    2nd yes he can go to the courts and have an order put on where she can not leave the state. I have a good friend that happened to and even though the father doesn't have much to do with their child, she can not take the child out of the state. She had to sign guardian ship over to her mother when her husband got orders and if the child goes interstate, my friends mother has to go with her and it can only be for x amount of time.

    but unless you have the $ to fight and have something you can hold against him (abuse, drugs, etc) you don't really have much luck. Sorry

    ETA: Just wanted to add, it won't exactly block the orders your husband will still have to go, but you won't be able to take your daughter


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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by kensington View Post
    If you get a judge who is sympathetic to dads, his chances are good to keep your from leaving the country. Maybe you guys should have sought orders in the US? Can you get the orders changed? Your argument would be better heard before a judge if you already live "states" away rather than off the continent. KWIM?
    We already live outside of the state my exhusband lives in and the PCS is in the United States, just not the continental mainland. Just wanted to clarify!
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    #5
    Welcome!!!! What is your relationship with your ex husband? Is there a way you can talk to him about this? Have you discussed what type of visitation he will have?
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    Quote Originally Posted by SandyKay View Post
    First welcome, Please introduce yourself in the newbies section and read the stickies.

    2nd yes he can go to the courts and have an order put on where she can not leave the state. I have a good friend that happened to and even though the father doesn't have much to do with their child, she can not take the child out of the state. She had to sign guardian ship over to her mother when her husband got orders and if the child goes interstate, my friends mother has to go with her and it can only be for x amount of time.

    but unless you have the $ to fight and have something you can hold against him (abuse, drugs, etc) you don't really have much luck. Sorry

    ETA: Just wanted to add, it won't exactly block the orders your husband will still have to go, but you won't be able to take your daughter
    I already live outside the state where the divorce and custody agreement was arranged. There is no geographic limitation to the agreement, but does set forth visitation.

    I am frightened I may have to divorce my husband to keep my children together! Either way, the children lose so much. I wish my ex husband would care more about the well being of the little ones - or at least his own daughter.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Missy_ View Post
    Welcome!!!! What is your relationship with your ex husband? Is there a way you can talk to him about this? Have you discussed what type of visitation he will have?
    Yes - I talked to him immediately after finding out, hoping for a amicable solution since we already operate "outside" the original visitation order. I give him much more than was negotiated during our divorce as I want him to have as much chance as he'd like to be a part of her life.

    Unfortunately, he is insisting that the only course of action is to allow him full custody and leave her behind. Unfortunately, he works 12 hour days, travels for his work often, while I am a stay at home mom who could be there for her any time she needs.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by bawesome1976 View Post
    I already live outside the state where the divorce and custody agreement was arranged. There is no geographic limitation to the agreement, but does set forth visitation.

    I am frightened I may have to divorce my husband to keep my children together! Either way, the children lose so much. I wish my ex husband would care more about the well being of the little ones - or at least his own daughter.
    Alaska and Hawaii are concidered Overseas Tours as far as the military is concerned.

    Question, Why would you have to divorce your husband to keep your children together? Your husband can go unaccompanied if you can not take your daughter with you. People do that all the time


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    #9
    Sounds like you need to lawyer up and go to court. Sorry you are in that place
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by SandyKay View Post
    Alaska and Hawaii are concidered Overseas Tours as far as the military is concerned.

    Question, Why would you have to divorce your husband to keep your children together? Your husband can go unaccompanied if you can not take your daughter with you. People do that all the time
    I guess I don't have to divorce him, but I don't see the marriage working out if I don't see him for four years. He's a good man, but even good men can't last that long. I can't afford to fly there and would have to work quite a bit to support a separate household.
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