Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Going Active Duty

  1. Fresh Newbie
    younginlove's Avatar
    younginlove is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    2
    #1

    Going Active Duty

    Advertisements

    Well, I'm new to the forum, as well as new to the "military life". Although, right now my life doesn't consist much of military stuff, it will soon. I've been dating the same guy for about a year now. He is in the US Army Reserves. So (as I'm sure you all know, even though I didn't) means he just goes away one weekend monthly. And it's not bad, gives me some time to catch up on hobbies and things. But with my turning 18 3 months ago, and graduating next month, he's introduced the idea of "going active duty". I'm completely clueless to the military and most things about it, and so he explained simply, as living on a post. He said it would be like living life where I am now, only we would live in a home together, he would work a full time job, and basically.... that's it. I know I can ask him anything, and he would explain to me the best he can, but I guess what I'm looking for is someone to tell me what exactly I'm getting myself into by marrying and moving in with someone who will be living on an active duty Army post. Thanks ahead
    Last edited by younginlove; 04-01-2010 at 04:57 PM.
  2. Banned
    gunsgirl's Avatar
    gunsgirl is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    lost
    Posts
    17,275
    #2
    well unfortunately what your BF is saying is not true.

    first you cannot live on base until your married, he cannot live off base as single until he reaches at least e5.

    he will not work a 9-5 job, he will go on deployments, trainings and will go to different schools. he could be deployed to the persian gulf, or he could get unaccompanied orders to an overseas duty station.
    sometimes there is not housing avail and you have to rent an apt either until something on base is open or for the entire length of the tour.

    the life of a military wife is hard and alot of times lonely and unpredictable.
    the military will always come first, even for deaths and births. there are times he will say he will be home and will come home hours are days later.
    there will be times when you cannot take vacations even tho you have planned and paid for them, there will be times when you will have to go on your own.

    when they say being a military wife is the toughest job in the military they are not joking.
  3. I was a GREAT mom... until I had kids.
    FertileMertile.'s Avatar
    FertileMertile. is offline
    I was a GREAT mom... until I had kids.
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Boston
    Posts
    19,013
    Blog Entries
    5
    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by gunsgirl View Post
    well unfortunately what your BF is saying is not true.

    first you cannot live on base until your married, he cannot live off base as single until he reaches at least e5.

    he will not work a 9-5 job, he will go on deployments, trainings and will go to different schools. he could be deployed to the persian gulf, or he could get unaccompanied orders to an overseas duty station.
    sometimes there is not housing avail and you have to rent an apt either until something on base is open or for the entire length of the tour.

    the life of a military wife is hard and alot of times lonely and unpredictable.
    the military will always come first, even for deaths and births. there are times he will say he will be home and will come home hours are days later.
    there will be times when you cannot take vacations even tho you have planned and paid for them, there will be times when you will have to go on your own.

    when they say being a military wife is the toughest job in the military they are not joking.
    What she said..

    And it can take up to a year for paperwork to go threw to switch over from Active, and they are NOT always guaranteed their MOS. They can lose rank (coming from a recruiter) and alot of other things.




  4. Senior Member
    Judi89's Avatar
    Judi89 is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    30,839
    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by younginlove View Post
    Well, I'm new to the forum, as well as new to the "military life". Although, right now my life doesn't consist much of military stuff, it will soon. I've been dating the same guy for about a year now. He is in the US Army Reserves. So (as I'm sure you all know, even though I didn't) means he just goes away one weekend monthly. And it's not bad, gives me some time to catch up on hobbies and things. But with my turning 18 3 months ago, and graduating next month, he's introduced the idea of "going active duty". I'm completely clueless to the military and most things about it, and so he explained simply, as living on a post. He said it would be like living life where I am now, only we would live in a home together, he would work a full time job, and basically.... that's it. I know I can ask him anything, and he would explain to me the best he can, but I guess what I'm looking for is someone to tell me what exactly I'm getting myself into by marrying and moving in with someone who will be living on an active duty Army post. Thanks ahead

    Well, and QFP
    Gunsgirl said it right. There is not just a little check in the box somewhere that "poof" makes him active duty, he's all of a sudden full time, gets paid more, can live with you and there are no other differences. He'll work all hours of the day and night and deploy for very long periods of time. Just to clarify too, he now wants to go active duty only because you graduated? I'm assuming then he didn't before because he wanted to be around you and now you can marry and move with him wherever the Army sends him? Whew, that is a lot of change and heavy stuff for a young gal! I am not saying you're too young etc, just that you are taking a lot of big steps... We can give you lots of information here, and its a great board. Ask away and we'll do our best to support.



    "If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - President Ronald Reagan
  5. Looking for the sunshine...
    Jayo's Avatar
    Jayo is offline
    Looking for the sunshine...
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    13,586

    #5
    BUT it isn't all that bad. Once you learn the ropes, remember to always be flexible and that the military isn't "out to screw you" personally it can and does get easier.

    We have lived a very comfortable life. My dh and I both started out as E-1's. I only stayed in for 4 years. He has been AD for 27+ years as of right now. We have always had a roof over our heads, food on the table, my three dd's have had health insurance for their whole lives. I have moved to some great places, met some great people and have wonderful live experiences. As of right now, we are enjoying awsome perks because of my dh's hard work. We have a really good pension set in place and a stable job for the next 2.5 years (and in this economy that's a definate plus!).

    Is it all butterflies and roses along the way. NO, definately not. What I'm saying is that it is what you make of it. Again, once you get your mind around the "rules of engagement" it's just like every other marriage/lifestyle. No more dangerous or grueling than being married to a police officer, fire fighter, doctor, nurse, crab fisherman (gotta love "The Deadliest Catch" guys!) ect....

    It IS a lifestyle but if you learn this motto; Semper Gumby you'll do just fine!
  6. You are here.
    Frybread's Avatar
    Frybread is offline
    You are here.
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    23,977
    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by gunsgirl View Post
    well unfortunately what your BF is saying is not true.

    first you cannot live on base until your married, he cannot live off base as single until he reaches at least e5.

    he will not work a 9-5 job, he will go on deployments, trainings and will go to different schools. he could be deployed to the persian gulf, or he could get unaccompanied orders to an overseas duty station.
    sometimes there is not housing avail and you have to rent an apt either until something on base is open or for the entire length of the tour.

    the life of a military wife is hard and alot of times lonely and unpredictable.
    the military will always come first, even for deaths and births. there are times he will say he will be home and will come home hours are days later.
    there will be times when you cannot take vacations even tho you have planned and paid for them, there will be times when you will have to go on your own.

    when they say being a military wife is the toughest job in the military they are not joking.
    Ditto completely...its certainly no walk in the park.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •