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Thread: Should I stay or should I go

  1. Fresh Newbie
    Ldorantes's Avatar
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    #1

    Whatever Should I stay or should I go

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    Hello Ladies,
    My husband to leaving to Korea in a few months.Then our follow on is to Japan.He wants me to move back to my home town because of the "money".
    I do want to stay where we are stationed at because i have my own space and privacy,but if I move back I have my family close by and it will make the time go by fast for me until he get's back.

    What should I do?????

    Need advice ladies
  2. Do or do not... There is no try.~ Yoda, Jedi Master
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    #2
    If it were me, I'd stay put. I value my privacy and my kids & I all need a sense of normalcy when dh is gone. Going home wouldn't work for any of us, my folks included. My friends (and my kids friends) are all here and we have a great support network here that I wouldn't give up for anything.
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    #3
    That is a tough one... How long before you go to Japan? If only a few months, I might move to my hometown and save some money. Ultimately you just have to do what is best for both of you. PCSing is not cheap and this might help.
  4. Loving my soldier since '96
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by SnowCrystal View Post
    If it were me, I'd stay put. I value my privacy and my kids & I all need a sense of normalcy when dh is gone. Going home wouldn't work for any of us, my folks included. My friends (and my kids friends) are all here and we have a great support network here that I wouldn't give up for anything.
    I feel the same way and I am in the same situation. My husband is in school and when finish he will be gone for a year minus his leave. I decided to stay put. I didnt want to move to 2 duty stations every 6 months to only have to move again. I decided I want a sense of normalcy. My dh wanted me to move back home. Honesty I have established a home/life for my family and moving back home wouldn't work for us. I love my parents dearly but I couldnt move back.
    (Disclaimer: The following information is coming from a Army wife who doesn't actually know any specifics 100%. Often told to her by husband or other wise ones. Though, they all will admit that at times they dont know the specifics neither. The information received should be considered unstable and possibly flammable. Do not disseminate. )
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    #5
    If it was me, it would depend on the length of time he'd be gone. I don't have children, only furbabies, so it'd be easier on me than it would on others. If it was only a few months, I'd stay put. If it was a year or so, I'd move home so we could save that money. Like someone else said, PCSing is not cheap.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by SnowCrystal View Post
    If it were me, I'd stay put. I value my privacy and my kids & I all need a sense of normalcy when dh is gone. Going home wouldn't work for any of us, my folks included. My friends (and my kids friends) are all here and we have a great support network here that I wouldn't give up for anything.
    Good point. For me it depends upon whether OP meant moving to home town, or moving home. I would have a tough time moving back into my parent's home. Actually I couldn't do it. But moving back to my home town would be doable.
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    #7
    I don't think there is enough money in the world for me to move back home...
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    #8
    Well her husband is doing his year remote in Korea. So he will be gone a year.

    They have kids and are settled in in Vegas. Personally *I* would stay as long as I was comfortable living at the base I was at.

    BUT if I wasn't fond of the base I was at, I would consider going somewhere else (follow on would be my first choice depending on where it is). Family where I know I would get support and help would be my second choice. BUT I would need my own place not live with family.

    OP....You mentioned your husband mentioned money. You need to look and see if the BAH would be more for Nellis or your hometown. But don't let money be what makes your choice. It can be something that helps decide, but it should NOT be the only thing that decides.
    Last edited by Southern-queen; 02-05-2010 at 11:32 AM. Reason: added a word I realized when re-reading I forgot that is a key word.
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    #9

    Smile

    thanks ladies,this some what made me feel a little better.
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    #10
    My cousin was in the same situation. Her DH got stationed in Korea for a year. She decided to go live with family for that year. At the time she had 1 child. She was glad to be with family and away from Ft Sill. She was able to keep her mind off of things while he was gone with a new baby. This way she didnt have to be around the military people and remind her of what she was missing.

    You just have to stop and think what would be best for you and your family. Sit down and write out a pros and cons list.
    It took longer than we thought. Now 2 IUI's, 3 IVF's, 1 FET .
    One day at a time, one step at a time, and one day we will get there.
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