Unmarried and Moving Help!

[sevenslucy]

Hi, I have been dating my so for about a year now and we have finally decided to move in together! The problem is that we aren't married, and that makes things so much harder.. My so, Sean, is looking at apartments, and we need to get a car as well. The hardest part for me is trying to find a job.. I'd like to get one lined up before moving.. but from Illinois that has been almost impossible. I have tried sites like monster and snagajob.. and haven't had any luck

On top of that I'm only 19 and have no college experience yet.. Right now I work as a manager at a mom and pop type grocery store, but I'd take any job I can take.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice or has been through a similar situation? We are trying to move by mid January. We will be moving to Jacksonville, Florida.

Thanks in advance!

[gunsgirl]

for jobs- go to craigslist and Jacksonville News, Sports and Entertainment | Jacksonville.com

you may not be able to hook a job before you get here- but you will not have trouble finding a job when you do.

Jax is a very big city- and I know places like best buy, HH gregg ect are always hiring- if you have manager exp it is a huge plus.

I would not worry about finding a job when you get to JAX.

[AML7609]

well...im kind of in the same boat as you. im 18 and DB is 19 and i plan on moving to his duty station within the next few months. the only difference is we are getting married before i do. i dont go to school and have a job for the county so its not exactly transferable. id say just keep searching and make calls and reach out. or as soon as you get there just start the hunt! but good luck !!!

[Lynnette1990]

Unless he is a certain rank, he can't move out of the barracks unless he is married. At least that's how it is in the MC. They also will not give him any BAH to move out so all the rent and utilities will have to be covered by your job or his base pay. You might want to think about this a little more.

[sevenslucy]

I know that. I didn't expect for the military to pay for anything. And he is able to move out, we have already seriously researched this and spent time thinking about it. Also you need to remember that civilian couples move in together all the time, without the help of military benefits, so I don't need to reconsider this. He's the man I love and I've already spent enough time considering everything. I found that remark kind of rude.

I wasn't asking for help getting the military to help pay.. just advice on getting a job while living in another state, it's been hard for me and I was hoping others could share their experiences and what had helped them out.

[Tiffy]

Originally Posted by sevenslucy I know that. I didn't expect for the military to pay for anything. And he is able to move out, we have already seriously researched this and spent time thinking about it. Also you need to remember that civilian couples move in together all the time, without the help of military benefits, so I don't need to reconsider this. He's the man I love and I've already spent enough time considering everything. I found that remark kind of rude. I wasn't asking for help getting the military to help pay.. just advice on getting a job while living in another state, it's been hard for me and I was hoping others could share their experiences and what had helped them out.

I think she was really trying to help. A lot of people don't realize that they may not receive bah if they live off base at a certain rank. I didn't see her comment as rude at all.

[candypants]

Do you have money saved up that you could live off of if you didn't find a job right away? Or would he be able to support you? I'm sure you've thought of this, but just wanted to throw that out there just in case. I don't know what the job market is like in FL, but where I'm at, it's a giant pain and there are zero jobs. Don't expect to be able to land a job right away, and give yourself some time to adjust to your new life. After that, check out Craigslist and just walk around and explore. Good luck on your exciting new life!

[Mrz. Robinson]

Originally Posted by sevenslucy I know that. I didn't expect for the military to pay for anything. And he is able to move out, we have already seriously researched this and spent time thinking about it. Also you need to remember that civilian couples move in together all the time, without the help of military benefits, so I don't need to reconsider this. He's the man I love and I've already spent enough time considering everything. I found that remark kind of rude. I wasn't asking for help getting the military to help pay.. just advice on getting a job while living in another state, it's been hard for me and I was hoping others could share their experiences and what had helped them out.

I don't see how this could be rude. SHe was letting you know that if he is not a certain rank then he wont be able to move off base in he 1st place. The bah thing is a plus, my hubby use to stay in Jackson Fl and the cost of living is not cheap. If you don't have some or enough rank it will be hard to live comfortable. She was just bascially giving you the heads up. Yo not having a job, and him the only one working can be hard on money sometimes

[His*PITA*]

Originally Posted by sevenslucy I know that. I didn't expect for the military to pay for anything. And he is able to move out, we have already seriously researched this and spent time thinking about it. Also you need to remember that civilian couples move in together all the time, without the help of military benefits, so I don't need to reconsider this. He's the man I love and I've already spent enough time considering everything. I found that remark kind of rude. I wasn't asking for help getting the military to help pay.. just advice on getting a job while living in another state, it's been hard for me and I was hoping others could share their experiences and what had helped them out.

You are being extremely rude here... she gave you information and an opinion based off your original post, which you did not specify researching anything about him living off base, BAH, or any of the stuff that people typically ask about when this issue comes up, and can be very important when moving while unmarried...

Being in a relationship with someone in the military, esp. when it comes to moving with each other and living together when you are not married is a bit different then between two people who have no military affiliation, so that comment was also uncalled for...

Civilian pay is normally 1 amount, Military has different factors that contribute to an SO's paycheck... 1 whole section being for housing/rent. So if he is not getting that, it can be VERY hard to pay for rent/utilites/ect without that extra amount for housing, esp. in a big city.

Its good you have done some research to make sure he is at a rank where he can live off base and all that kind of stuff though... Most people asking these kinds of questions do not know that which is why again, that info was given to you...

If you are going to need two incomes in order to pay the bills (which I am assuming will be the case if he is not getting BAH), my advice would be to not move until you either have a jobbed lined up, or have at least a few decent interviews set up... while Jax may be a large city, many people are still getting laid off and having a very hard time finding jobs, it could be months before you find something and you do not want to put you and your DB in a situation where you are stuck in an apt. with a lease and not able to pay the bills...

[Lynnette1990]

Originally Posted by sevenslucy I know that. I didn't expect for the military to pay for anything. And he is able to move out, we have already seriously researched this and spent time thinking about it. Also you need to remember that civilian couples move in together all the time, without the help of military benefits, so I don't need to reconsider this. He's the man I love and I've already spent enough time considering everything. I found that remark kind of rude. I wasn't asking for help getting the military to help pay.. just advice on getting a job while living in another state, it's been hard for me and I was hoping others could share their experiences and what had helped them out.

Also, you need to remember that civilians have totally different lifestyles. Your DB is owned by the government. Civilians aren't. If the military says he can't move in with his gf, then guess what? He can't. I've seen it happen. They were pretty much forced to get married or she would have to leave home since he wasn't allowed to leave the barracks. If you aren't married, they aren't any military benefits (at least not for you). Base pay isn't a lot of money. It would be really tight to try to cover a rent, food, utilities, gas, insurance, and taking care of you if you don't have a job. The job market in FL is not good right now at all. I've lived there. There is a chance you won't get a job sometimes for months, sometimes not at all. What then? Is his base pay enough? You don't have to answer these questions, just throwing it out there.
I am sharing my experiences. Frankie took care of my needs when my parents couldn't when we were dating. Do you know how incredibly tight it was for him to try to take care of both of us? Granted, I wasn't living with him unwed. I stayed with my parents but money was super tight for him. A very close friend of ours tried to do what you and your bf are trying to do and like I mentioned, it didn't work out. The military wasn't having it A and B they couldn't make rent with just his base pay.

Originally Posted by Tiffy I think she was really trying to help. A lot of people don't realize that they may not receive bah if they live off base at a certain rank. I didn't see her comment as rude at all.

Thank you.

Originally Posted by Mrz. Robinson I don't see how this could be rude. SHe was letting you know that if he is not a certain rank then he wont be able to move off base in he 1st place. The bah thing is a plus, my hubby use to stay in Jackson Fl and the cost of living is not cheap. If you don't have some or enough rank it will be hard to live comfortable. She was just bascially giving you the heads up. Yo not having a job, and him the only one working can be hard on money sometimes

Thanks!

Originally Posted by His*PITA* You are being extremely rude here... she gave you information and an opinion based off your original post, which you did not specify researching anything about him living off base, BAH, or any of the stuff that people typically ask about when this issue comes up, and can be very important when moving while unmarried... Being in a relationship with someone in the military, esp. when it comes to moving with each other and living together when you are not married is a bit different then between two people who have no military affiliation, so that comment was also uncalled for... Civilian pay is normally 1 amount, Military has different factors that contribute to an SO's paycheck... 1 whole section being for housing/rent. So if he is not getting that, it can be VERY hard to pay for rent/utilites/ect without that extra amount for housing, esp. in a big city. Its good you have done some research to make sure he is at a rank where he can live off base and all that kind of stuff though... Most people asking these kinds of questions do not know that which is why again, that info was given to you... If you are going to need two incomes in order to pay the bills (which I am assuming will be the case if he is not getting BAH), my advice would be to not move until you either have a jobbed lined up, or have at least a few decent interviews set up... while Jax may be a large city, many people are still getting laid off and having a very hard time finding jobs, it could be months before you find something and you do not want to put you and your DB in a situation where you are stuck in an apt. with a lease and not able to pay the bills...

I agree.