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Thread: lifers... what happens when kids get old enough to say they really dont want to go

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    #1

    lifers... what happens when kids get old enough to say they really dont want to go

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    being in the military means the possibility of constant change. how did you all deal with your kids not wanting to move anymore after a while?
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDJM View Post
    being in the military means the possibility of constant change. how did you all deal with your kids not wanting to move anymore after a while?
    It does and will happen. When they are old enough to not go... they won't. When my oldest son stayed behind at the age of 18 to be with his friends and girlfriend ... It just about killed me, I broke down so hard... and just didn't deal with it very well.

    But, I've since learned, it's not the end of your family, it's the beginning of your family growing... He went on to follow us a year later, join the Army... leave again, start his family and now brings them home to see us when he can.

    We've had to move on three times this way... our daughter stayed to go to college, and get her degree... I guess it was the same as if she had gone to college where we were... we saw her on holidays and vacations.

    We still don't like it. But... you have to realize, your life grows on, and you are called to go... then you go. My husband have always tried to make our choices based on what was best for our whole family, and the fact that someday, it will be just me and him... and for us... that was important. In the long run, after they all go, it will still be just me and him.

    I guess it's no different than any other parent who has a child grow up and leave home, you miss them, you cry, you bug them to come visit. Only in our case, we leave and they stay. Sadly...

    You can stay close though, calls, email, pictures, visits... You really can.

    We have 1 son on the West coast, 1 son and his family on the East Coast, a son and a daughter and their families in the Middle. Right now, we are in the Middle.
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    One of the various reasons J and I have decided not to breed.
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    We talked about this tonight. I dont look forward to when that time comes. Theres no real way to know how we will handle it til the time comes.
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    honestly, i moved around a few times as a kid, without military parents, and it wasn't fun. i only plan on having one or two, i dont think i could do this to 5-6 kids. when it comes to it, i'll have to explain i don;t like moving either, but we have ways to stay in touch with our old friends, and i move with daddy because i love him. and since our family loves each other, we will all be staying together. in the end, none of us have a choice, just try to help them keep in touch with their friends, until they can realize it's not the end of the world
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    not sure how we will handle that.

    my husband could retire in 5 years......in 5 years my oldest graduates high school. I doubt my husband will retire in 5 years though....if he can stay in the navy he will as he loves his job. Anyway we'll deal with the separation when time comes......I mean at 18 he would be going off to college anyway. I hope we'll be close enough to see him.....all kids go away eventually.

    So far we haven't had to deal with the "i don't want to move" aspect of military life. We've been on this base for 8 years and are moving to a base that we could potentially stay at the rest of his career......I'd like to at least have him graduate at one school.
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    great question...something i've been curious about

    "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" ~ Psalm 27:1
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    #8
    There are options.

    Obviously, if the child is under the age of 18, they will move with you. Living on their own is not really an option.

    If I had a child in or entering their junior or senior year of high school, you can choose to stay behind while your DH goes alone (geo-baching). You can choose to have them stay with a family member in the area. This is about the only situation where I would consider them not accompanying, in order to provide them with some continuity.
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    I loved moving. For me it was the favorite part. Luckily my kids so far have gotten that attribute from me.

    But push comes to shove they will move regardless if they are under 18 or still in high school. Hopefully we will be at a base during their jr and sr years but who knows.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Southern-momma View Post
    I loved moving. For me it was the favorite part. Luckily my kids so far have gotten that attribute from me.

    But push comes to shove they will move regardless if they are under 18 or still in high school. Hopefully we will be at a base during their jr and sr years but who knows.
    I think you are me, southern. Like maybe I have multiple personalities (that are actually very similar) and I have a different screen name that I post under LOL!!!

    I moved constantly growing up (no, not military!) and I didn't mind it much; even if I did, I wasn't given a choice. Although, years later when I lived in the same town as my folks and they were moving to another town, Dad just couldn't understand why MY stuff wasn't packed and ready to go!! LOL!! Um, I live and WORK here, Dad. In my own house!

    The one thing my son did that neither I nor either of my siblings did was to go to the same school system his entire life. My son went to the same system from kindergarten through high school graduation! Very odd to us
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