Life as a Navy Wife...

So I know we've had this converstation before. But db and I talked more today about the posibility of him being a lifer. All he ever talks about is the benefits. He doesn't really understand why I would want to stay close to family/friends. And he thinks that moving all the time would be no problem..for me or future kids. So I know most of you have been in the "Navy Wife" position for awhile and most of you like it. But I was wondering for those of you who are new to the situation..how are you likeing it? And I was also wondering if there was anyone who was against it when you got married....how is it now, has it gotten better--worse? And for everyone..how do you kids take it? With your husbands gone a lot and the moving all of the time, I was just wondering how your kids seem to take it. I know that they probaby wouldn't say to your face that they hate it or anything..but, I know it can't be easy. DB just kept saying that if it was like that in the beginning that the kids would get used to it. I told him that they shouldn't have to, that kids should be able to have close friends and relationships that they shouldn't have to give up to move all of the time. He said the kids he's worked with on base don't seem to care. My cousin's husband is a lifer in the Army and they have 4 kids and they don't really seem to mind. But I plan on talking to the 2 older ones alone over Christmas break, to see what they really think about having a dad who is a lifer (who they don't get to see a lot) and moving all of the time. Sorry for dragging that out for so long. I guess I was just kind of thinking out loud. So any thoughts that you might have would be appreciated. Thanks ladies!!!

[Kaymara]

Ok I know this was geared towards those whom haven't been navy wives for long...But I wanted to answer you on a couple of things This will probably be long so bear with me

When we got married Dh was gonna get out. That was our plan. He was gonna get out and we were going to stay in CA by my family. Well 3 months before he was due to get out he announced he was extending. Was I happy about it? No not at all. I had done 1 deployment and I NEVER wanted to do anything like that again. I didn't want to be a "Navy wife" I simply wanted to be a wife. So yea I was kind of upset.

He then left for an A school a few months after he returned home from deployment. He told me he would get orders to Washington which is where I was from. I wanted to be near family so badly. I was young. Never been married, never lived away from any family..Well he got orders to Washington alright. But it was Washington DC...Other side of the US. I was in tears. Scared, crying, didn;t know what to expect. I had wanted to go back to school and now that was on hold...

The first year was hard. It was hard being away from my family. And so far away too. But there were good aspects to it as well. I was getting to see things I had never ever seen. Being away was teaching me more and more indepandance. Well again. He was going to get out after that tour. We were gonna move to Washington. He was putting resumes out and everything. Well he then announces he was going to cross rate and reenlist. Talk about confusing...He cross rated and we went from DC to IL to VA for his schools. From there we did end up back in WA. But honestly it was al so different. I was USED to not being near my family. I was USED to alot of it. But I did NOT want to go thru another deployment. And the ship he was going to was fixing to leave in a month after we got there. I remember when we got there and went to check him in...I said to him in the car "I don't know if I can do this again" His face dropped nad he looked as tho he was gonna cry (which is shocking in itself) He said "What are you saying??" I told him I was saying I wasn;t looking forward to another deployment. He thought I was leaving him.

Needless to say that deployment came and went, another came and was extended and went..And here I am, 11 years later. Been a military wife for 11 years. For what started to be 1 year.

Yes I like this lifestyle now. As I have grown I have changed. I know even in the civilian world nothing is in stone. Here he has a stable job which is why he stayed in. To make sure he would always have work.

As far as kids go I dunno since we just had Ethan. But I do have alot of friends who went thru it with children and it isn;t easy. Saying goodbye never is and especially for young kids who do not understand. But just like everything else they get through it. Personally, to me, although yes having your child in 1 set school, city etc is good, so is moving and expierencing new and wonderful things. They can look back and say "I have been here, lived here, done this, did that"

I hope you find the answers you are looking for. Like I said it isn;t easy and this isn;t the lifestyle I thought I would have at first. But I am so very glad that I do now.

[Donna]

I hated it at the time.... the moving around all the time. but i look back on it now and wouldnt trade it for the world!!!! how many people can say went to Spain for spring break their senior year of high school or had their grad ceremony at a german castle???

Kristi--As I read that, the tears just started falling. Because I feel so much this this isn't what I want. But at the same time, there is a small part of me who believes that I'll be like you and might like it in the end. But right now the part of me who wants nothing to do with being a "Navy Wife" is the part that is the strongest. Thank you for what you wrote, I appreciate it.

[amandalaine]

I really don't have any experience to go on to help with this, but I wanted to add to something that Kristi said about it being good for kids to move around because they can experience new things and stuff. I've lived in the same city for 23 years and went to school with pretty much the same people K-12 and I couldn't tell you how many times I wanted to move so I could experience something new as a kid. So I personally don't think that moving kids around would be a bad thing, especially with the internet and everything that could help friends stay in touch.

[KevzQueen]

My husband's been in for almost 4 years, but we have been away from family since we were 19 and 20 yrs old (we're 27 now). I didn't know anything about the Navy and there are still lots of things I may not know or care to know, but I didn't have a problem with him joining. We decided on this together. I don't like my children having to change schools, but I do believe they will be ok. This is only their 2nd school change and will be their last (unless we're crazy and change our minds). I also want them to have memories of our home, not our home for this amount of yrs. I feel as if I'm a visitor here and would like to feel like I belong and care about the town I'm in. Those are just a couple of the reasons he is getting out. It's nice to see different places, but I'd much prefer to save money and go on vacations rather than having to stay at a place I don't like for a few yrs. That's my scatterbrained story. Good luck with your decision.

Wow. I'm still living in the same down I have been since I was born. (well, when I'm not up at school). Same deal..with going to school with the same people and all. But I've loved it. And I think that is why it would be so hard to move so far away. Ok, once you move you'd get used to the new place. But the thing is, just as soon as you get used to it..it would be time to move again. But then again, maybe you guys are right. That's what I'm hoping to find out from my talk with my cousin's kids..if and when I am able to talk to them one on one. The oldes is 13 and 2nd oldes is 9. That's all they've known all their life..so they would know better than anyone. I guess.

KevsQueen--That's why I think it might be good to be in for awhile. To get the experience of living in really different places and doing things most people don't get to do. I wouldn't mind doing something like that for the first several years of our marriage (we don't plan on getting married until I graduate anyway..). And then settling down and having a family. BUT from what I'm hearing from him, it sounds like all or none at the moment. Even if we did agree to stay in just for awhile longer..I'm sure it would end up being a life thing anyway.

[Me&D]

edited by me

[ash]

i saw your teaching pics, what are the odds you get a teaching job in your home school system? military towns have more teaching opportunities, they told me in my education classes..