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Thread: first time transferring.. Help!

  1. Chris9plus1
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    Help first time transferring.. Help!

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    Ok.. so I'm kind of new to the boards, and I just posted this in the rants section, but then i found this and found it a little more appropriate. please help me from going bonkers over this!

    I need help... Im sooo overwhelmed!

    My husband and I got married a year ago. I moved from Texas (which is where my heart will always be) to Washington to be with him. I should mention hes a navy guy. I've hated every single minute I've had to live in this state. The state is pretty, but I've had Mother in Law and his side of the family issues (big issues and they hate me for no apparent reason other that marrying my husband since the day I got here). THAT made it torture on top of not being able to find a job too... I'm a graphic designer and my work is very very important to me. The only reason people won't hire me is because I'm a military wife. IT PISSES ME OFF!!!... not to brag, but I'm 10x better than the people I'm up against and they know it! they're just afraid to hire me and have me leave them!

    So FINALLY we're moving in feb and I'm going through the process of talking with the detailer............. As stated, my job is very important to me, so where we move is also very important. i don't want to go through not having a job again.... I need a good job market! And I want to move back to the south too. I heard GA was a possibility, and while trying not to, I got my hopes up to move there..... didn't get the job, someone else did. Then I researched Charleston, SC (tried not to, but I got my hopes up again) and put in the request for that.... someone beat us to it. (notice a pattern?).... now I find out today that the only options we have left... SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .... what do you do when you don't want any of the places they give you to choose from?

    Can anyone who has done this before help me out? My husband is an E5 (about to be an E6) going on shore duty and into teaching. I can't really be any more specific than that. Our options are Groton, CT (no way in hell am I moving there) I don't do snow, Norfolk, VA, and Hawaii <-- Plane fare to see my family is ridiculous!.

    HELP! How do you deal with the stress? how often do positions change? should we wait for another cycle? or just move somewhere we both don't want? -- We'll be there for the remainder of his contract - 3 years.

    Sorry for the long rant... i just need advice!
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    #2
    I do not have a whole lot of advise for you...but I wanted to say that I am sorry for what you are going through

    Now for my advise.. I would say that the decision to wait on the next cycle would be a decision that you and your DH need to sit down and talk about..the pros and cons. Also..just keep in mind that next cycle may not be peachy perfect either. I really feel for you on the job issue. I was in the USAF and got out, and my husband stayed in. I wanted to get a job...but the only jobs that pay enough for me to afford daycare are 45 minutes away and gas is just too high in CA. I have just not worked since I have been out...well I do concider being a SAHM mom hard work though!


    I hope that you guys can get something that will suite you. Sometimes things just don't always go the way we like when we are married to "government property". I once had a NCO tell me when I was a airman..."The military did not issue you dependents!!!" In the end..the military will send you DH where they need him most. While it sucks...such is life. Keep your chin up. I know its hard...but in the end everything usually works out. I wish you the best.

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    my DH is a sailor, the one thing you have to understand quickly is those options change, and they are exactly that just options, because they are there now doesn't mean they will be in 2 months when he goes to pick them. sometimes the places you want the most aren't available at the time your up for the orders so you have to go with the lesser of the evils. the way the navy is working right now you need to be aware that just because he is on shore duty does not mean he won't deploy for an IA tour, so ask yourself where would go if that happens? would you go back to texas? or stay put? and snow really isn't that bad. i grew up in Lake Placid NY area its not the end of the world its actually pretty, and CT is closer to the NYC then any of the other choices you might have a better chance at finding a good paying job. i have learned that as soon as you say HELL TO THE NO I am not going there, that is the first place the navy sends you. i to went from home in NY to WA with no family! luckliy my in laws weren't there. but i spent 3.5 years out there, i hated the state with a passion, then i moved to IL a place i said I WOULD NEVER EVER GO and spent 3.5 years there. when it comes to picking orders, expect the worst and pray for the best. good luck
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    #4
    First off, if employers are telling you that they won't hire you is that you are a military spouse, that is illegal. There are some good temp services that will work specifically with military spouses as well.
    Secondly, since his rotation date is Feb, you have to make a choice ASAP or they will put him wherever they want to. He has to have good communication with his detailer. Personally, I would go for the Hawaii orders. Yeah, plane fare gets expensive (I am a a Texas girl also and have lived in Hawaii twice), but it is an amazing place to live! They are building new housing over there on top of the new housing they already have and if it is just the two of you, it is a really good place to be at. Don't let the plane fare issue be the only thing holding you back.
    Unfortunately this is the military and you are going to get orders you don't want and have to make the best of things. We had two choices for orders our last rotation - Lemoore, CA and Virginia Beach, VA. That wasn't going to change.
  5. *pinkie*
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    Im sorry that youre going thru all that..we had issues with the detailer for awhile now..they just gave my DH Norfolk...we're in San Diego now and we're transferring in February as well. from what I remember, it doesnt snow that much in Norfolk..gets cold of course.
    Have you guys thought about San Diego?
  6. Chris9plus1
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    thank you for your help girls.... I'm a little better today than I have been..... I'm just not used to not being in control of my life. I'm not sure if I'm exhausted from stress or i really just don't care anymore lol We should find out by Friday what we got. I hope its VA.... as someone else said, its the lesser of 2 evils. thanks again girls!
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    #7
    good luck!
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    #8

    Hawaii!!!

    I'm not sure about what it is for any other branch, but my husband is in the Air Force and we are allowed to take Hops on military aircraft. You should see if your husband's branch allows that. That being said, if you choose Hawaii they have a flight going to and from California every day. We are going to be moving there shortly and hope to get as much use out of it as possible. It will be our first time moving as well and we are looking forward to HI.
  9. Pass the Chocolate
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    Yup, those stationed in HI (on orders, you have to be command sponsored), can get letters that bump you up a category to fly Space-A. It bumps you to a 5, and if he's deployed 180 days or more, you get a bump to a 4.

    There are at least 1, if not several, flights to Travis AFB (north of San Fran) daily. Hickam also goes all over the country.

    We love HI. Honolulu is a beautiful large metropolitian city. Pearl Harbor (which is where I take it your DH would go, I assume he's subs) is a beautiful base and there is so much to do. O'ahu gets about 70,000 visitors A DAY to the island, so it's very hustle-bustle lots of action.

    I've done Norfolk, personally didn't care for the area but we were E-2's and it was my first time away from family so that might have done me in. Doesn't snow that much (though it gets cold!) and there is a lot to do.

    Groton would make it easy to travel to other areas of the NE like NYC,etc.
  10. Pass the Chocolate
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    Oh yeah, and expect where they say he's going to change!!

    Until he has hard orders (actual paper orders) the Navy might change their minds. I know this last round (last year) DH had his orders change from Maine to Jax to HI to Jax to HI. We ended up in HI!

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