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Thread: Officers Wives/GFs/Fiances?

  1. Doin' It All On My Own...
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    #1

    Help Officers Wives/GFs/Fiances?

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    SOO I am talking to a 1st LT In the Marine Corps and I was just curious what is the main thing you feel every woman should know getting involved with an officer. What is the hardest part? What is the most rewarding? Please fill me in so I know what the heck I am getting myself into thanks!
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    #2
    I'm married to a Captain in the Army. One thing that took me awhile to get used was the fact that he can't socialize with enlisted servicemembers very much. This includes not going to bars where you can run into enlisted servicemembers. It was hard for me when we were in Germany on a small post, this one bar held a trivia night every week in English and I really wanted to go, I was so homesick. But we couldn't go because enlisted guys went. It was also kind of lonely when our unit went on a marriage retreat, everyone hung out in the bar at night but the only officer couples were DH and I and the COL and her husband. So there was a huge table of enlisted families hanging out and having a great time, and then a table of just DH and me.

    I do have some friends who are married to enlisted guys, but it's hard to plan get-togethers involving the husbands. They can come here but DH can't hang out at their homes because they live on post. And DH has a list of bars in town to stay out of, so that's out too.
  3. Do or do not... There is no try.~ Yoda, Jedi Master
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    #3
    Honestly? No difference between O and E (my hubby was E... then got his commission a couple of years ago). The major issue is being involved or in love with a military man. Bad schedules, unpredictable return dates, basically the unknown! As we all know, you don't decide for your heart who you fall in love with and most of us wouldn't have it any other way.
    I'm not Lynn, but we ARE MSOS Best Friends and MSOS Twins.
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    #4
    I don't think there is a difference with the officer/enlisted with wives. That all depends on the people. I am an enlisted wife but have lots of friends with the officer wives. The only time there is a seperation is when it is forces by one party or another. You will see more of the rank on the wives sholders then the husbands. Sad fact.

    At one base, the commanders wife would like up the wives by rank that the officer wives club. She was first....Lt col was second...and so on. Her husband got a major complaint about her from his higher ups...not pretty.

    I think, just like any wife here, you need to deal with the stress of the job, long hours, phone rining all the time, and you need to be second in his life. Military/country first, you second.

    Good Luck
    "Obstinacy is a fault of temperament. Stubbornness and Intolerance of contradiction result from a special kind of Egotism, which elevates above everything else the pleasure of its own autonomous intellect, to which others must bow.: Carl von Clausewitz
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Alexandra View Post
    I'm married to a Captain in the Army. One thing that took me awhile to get used was the fact that he can't socialize with enlisted servicemembers very much. This includes not going to bars where you can run into enlisted servicemembers. It was hard for me when we were in Germany on a small post, this one bar held a trivia night every week in English and I really wanted to go, I was so homesick. But we couldn't go because enlisted guys went. It was also kind of lonely when our unit went on a marriage retreat, everyone hung out in the bar at night but the only officer couples were DH and I and the COL and her husband. So there was a huge table of enlisted families hanging out and having a great time, and then a table of just DH and me.

    I do have some friends who are married to enlisted guys, but it's hard to plan get-togethers involving the husbands. They can come here but DH can't hang out at their homes because they live on post. And DH has a list of bars in town to stay out of, so that's out too.
    I don't mean to sound ignorant at all, but are they really not supposed to associate with enlisted members? Like- it's a written rule or more like a code of conduct? Just curious!
  6. Angelina
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    I'm married to a LT in the Navy. I had a hard time at first due to the fact that people assume I was a snobby officers wife. If anyone got to know me, they would and have realize I'm a very down to earth person. My dh doesn't carry around his title. When he leaves the base, he becomes the husband and father. Yes, he can't hang out with enlisted but the friends he does have he has known for years. He's very picky about that.
    I have friends who are enlisted. Again, it's not what our husbands do. It's who WE are. We have common interest.
    The most rewarding part for me is that he is my husband. I wouldn't care if he was a Admiral or a seaman. It's him who I fell in love with.
  7. Beltway Bandit
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Dorieo View Post
    I don't mean to sound ignorant at all, but are they really not supposed to associate with enlisted members? Like- it's a written rule or more like a code of conduct? Just curious!
    They have written lists of off-limits bars that are frequented by enlisted service members. It's very frustrating to me, I like to socialize with everyone and I hate having places I can't go. Technically I could go, these lists are only for DH, but I wouldn't feel right about going out while he had to sit home alone.

    It's more of a big deal when they are all in the same chain of command. We're at a school right now so it isn't as big a deal as it was when we were in Germany, but there is still a list of bars DH isn't supposed to go to.
  8. bunkie
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    You can only socialize with enlisted members of your unit if its a company event We have ways around these rules. We happen to be very good friends with a Lt. Col and his wife.
  9. Doin' It All On My Own...
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    #9
    Thanks ladies! Most of that I knew so I feel relieved! I dated a future 2nd LT to the marine corps and so I learned a little as I went along. But its nothing like dating the REAL thing lol.

    I agree with the not allowed to associate with enlisted members, makes life a lil tense. It would seriously suck to become really close to a girl and have her man and my man not be able to socialize, but thats the life.

    I also have heard the stereo type about officers wives being mean. I was watching that Army Wives show and they have a nice mix of the nice and the snobby lol. I am not gonna be that snobby one, I enjoy all people

    Thanks again ladies! Anyone else that once to add on feel free!!!
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    #10
    These types of posts tend to drive a bigger wedge between the O & E people. Honestly, DH was an E and is now an O, there is no big difference for me. I hang with the same people I did, DH just has to watch they are not in his "chain" but other than that it's not big deal. SR Enlisted deal with the same crap.

    Biggest thing to remember your DH wears the rank NOT YOU. Remember that and you will be fine. You start wearing the rank and that is what gets you in trouble.
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