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Thread: Marine Security Guard Girlfriend??

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    #1

    Confused Marine Security Guard Girlfriend??

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    Hello. My name is Amanda and I am new here. It's so great to see a community like this. Seems like a great place and a very necessary resource. I need some help so thanks in advance to any of you who can offer any advice.

    I am new to the military SO world. I began dating my Marine 6 months ago and he is without a doubt the love of my life. I wasn't even sure I believed in "soul mates" until I found him. We are happy beyond words together. The only problems we have revolve around his job. Adjusting to being with a Marine (unpredictable schedule, late nights, early mornings, field ops away from home, not being able to take leave, being on call all the time, tons of stress and demands on him so he's always exhausted, etc) has been tougher than I thought. I already have a career established within the DoD so I work with service members every day and I get the lifestyle. Even still, it took me a while to get used to everything. The USMC always comes before me. Despite it all, he is absolutely worth it. I am even prepared to deal with long deployments away or following him to move around the world as a Marine spouse eventually. Just trying to paint a picture for you that we are pretty serious and that, like many of you, I would sacrifice just about anything for my military partner.

    Well. That is until the other day, when he let me know he is going to apply to be a Marine Security Guard (MSG). This would involve 6 months of training and then 3 1-year assignments guarding embassies overseas. Since he will only be an E-5 soon, I would not be able to go if we were to get married beforehand (for some reason, as an E-6 and above, you can bring dependents but for E-5 and below you cannot be married as a MSG). So basically I could not join him and he will be gone for 3.5 years. The reason he's applying is because he just KNOWS that if he doesn't volunteer now, then it's only a matter of time before he will get HSST'ed (placed on a list for a Special Duty Assignments (SDA) which means jobs like recruiter, drill instructor, or MSG). So 1 of my questions revolves around this (see below). He is desperate to get out of miserable jobs like recruiter and drill instructor which he claims he will NOT do, so his rationale is to volunteer for MSG now so he can "get it over with". Originally when he told me this, I was so shocked and questioned whether this meant the end for us. However, he sounds SO confident that we could do long distance for 3.5 years and be fine. He claims he's seen other people make it work and that we would get to travel together a lot.

    So here are my questions...

    1) The HSST list... how serious is this? What is the actual likelihood of getting put on here and is there ANYTHING you can do to get out?

    2) Does anyone have experience dating someone on MSG duty? How hard is it really? How often did you see each other?

    Please help!! I am so distraught over this because I want to support his career, but I cannot lose this man. He's the one. I would try to make it work long distance, but we are talking almost 4 years away and only seeing each other a few times a year.... That is TOUGH!! Plus I am a bit older than him so I don't have a ton of time to waste. I have found it so incredibly hard to find info on this or talk to anyone who can relate... so any advice you may have will be a HUGE help!! Truly appreciate it...
    Last edited by AK123; 09-26-2016 at 07:19 PM. Reason: typos
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    #2

    Confused Marine HSST List

    Hello. My name is Amanda and I am new here. It's so great to see a community like this. Seems like a great place and a very necessary resource. I need some help so thanks in advance to any of you who can offer any advice.

    My boyfriend is a Marine. The other day, he let me know he is going to apply to be a Marine Security Guard (MSG). This would involve 6 months of training and then 3 1-year assignments guarding embassies overseas. Since he will only be an E-5 soon, I would not be able to go if we were to get married beforehand (for some reason, as an E-6 and above, you can bring dependents but for E-5 and below you cannot be married as a MSG). So basically I could not join him and he will be gone for 3.5 years. The reason he's applying is because he just KNOWS that if he doesn't volunteer now, then it's only a matter of time before he will get HSST'ed (placed on a list for a Special Duty Assignments (SDA) which means jobs like recruiter, drill instructor, or MSG). He is desperate to get out of miserable jobs like recruiter and drill instructor which he claims he WILL not do, so his rationale is to volunteer for MSG now so he can "get it over with". Originally when he told me this, I was so shocked and questioned whether this meant the end for us. However, he sounds SO confident that we could do long distance for 3.5 years and be fine. He claims he's seen other people make it work.

    So here are my questions...

    The HSST list... how serious is this? What is the actual likelihood of getting put on here and is there ANYTHING you can do to get out?

    The MSG job... Anyone have experience with either doing this or dating someone who's done it?


    Please help. I am so distraught over this because I want to support his career 110%, but I cannot lose this man. He's the one. I would try to make it work long distance, but we are talking almost 4 years away and only seeing each other a few times a year.... That is TOUGH!! I just can't understand how this is his best option. I have found it so incredibly hard to find info on this or talk to anyone who can relate... so any advice you may have will be a HUGE help!! Truly appreciate it...
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by AK123 View Post
    Hello. My name is Amanda and I am new here. It's so great to see a community like this. Seems like a great place and a very necessary resource. I need some help so thanks in advance to any of you who can offer any advice.

    My boyfriend is a Marine. The other day, he let me know he is going to apply to be a Marine Security Guard (MSG). This would involve 6 months of training and then 3 1-year assignments guarding embassies overseas. Since he will only be an E-5 soon, I would not be able to go if we were to get married beforehand (for some reason, as an E-6 and above, you can bring dependents but for E-5 and below you cannot be married as a MSG). So basically I could not join him and he will be gone for 3.5 years. The reason he's applying is because he just KNOWS that if he doesn't volunteer now, then it's only a matter of time before he will get HSST'ed (placed on a list for a Special Duty Assignments (SDA) which means jobs like recruiter, drill instructor, or MSG). He is desperate to get out of miserable jobs like recruiter and drill instructor which he claims he WILL not do, so his rationale is to volunteer for MSG now so he can "get it over with". Originally when he told me this, I was so shocked and questioned whether this meant the end for us. However, he sounds SO confident that we could do long distance for 3.5 years and be fine. He claims he's seen other people make it work.

    So here are my questions...

    The HSST list... how serious is this? What is the actual likelihood of getting put on here and is there ANYTHING you can do to get out?

    The MSG job... Anyone have experience with either doing this or dating someone who's done it?


    Please help. I am so distraught over this because I want to support his career 110%, but I cannot lose this man. He's the one. I would try to make it work long distance, but we are talking almost 4 years away and only seeing each other a few times a year.... That is TOUGH!! I just can't understand how this is his best option. I have found it so incredibly hard to find info on this or talk to anyone who can relate... so any advice you may have will be a HUGE help!! Truly appreciate it...
    The HSST list is no joke. DH got HSSTed shortly after he picked up E5 and we had PCSed cross country. He got recruiting and it's been pretty awful (the hours are long and he works 6-7 days a week). But, the 3 years went by pretty fast and he got promoted again because of this duty so that's a plus.

    Doing a B-Billet is essential for promotion in the Marine Corps. So whether he volunteers for one or gets HSSTed he'll have to do one to advance his career.

    ETA: if he volunteers then he can pick which SDA he wants and he may have a preference in where he gets sent. If he's HSSTed then he has zero say. It's a smart idea to just volunteer if he plans on going career.




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    #4
    Merged identical threads. Please do not post multiple threads of the same content, it is against TOS to do so.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    The HSST list is no joke. DH got HSSTed shortly after he picked up E5 and we had PCSed cross country. He got recruiting and it's been pretty awful (the hours are long and he works 6-7 days a week). But, the 3 years went by pretty fast and he got promoted again because of this duty so that's a plus.

    Doing a B-Billet is essential for promotion in the Marine Corps. So whether he volunteers for one or gets HSSTed he'll have to do one to advance his career.

    ETA: if he volunteers then he can pick which SDA he wants and he may have a preference in where he gets sent. If he's HSSTed then he has zero say. It's a smart idea to just volunteer if he plans on going career.
    My husband got HSST'ed too. Put in for DI, since we lived there, and got sent recruiting. He was an E5, but picked up Ssgt right before recruiting school. It's a rough duty, but like said above, it's necessary to advance.

    This is the perfect time to volunteer, since he hasn't been HSST'ed and isn't married. I know it's a daunting thought, but I would want him to do it now. It's much harder when married, the uncertainty of where he would go, or the possibility of a billet he wouldn't enjoy.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    The HSST list is no joke. DH got HSSTed shortly after he picked up E5 and we had PCSed cross country. He got recruiting and it's been pretty awful (the hours are long and he works 6-7 days a week). But, the 3 years went by pretty fast and he got promoted again because of this duty so that's a plus.

    Doing a B-Billet is essential for promotion in the Marine Corps. So whether he volunteers for one or gets HSSTed he'll have to do one to advance his career.

    ETA: if he volunteers then he can pick which SDA he wants and he may have a preference in where he gets sent. If he's HSSTed then he has zero say. It's a smart idea to just volunteer if he plans on going career.
    Thanks for your perspective, this definitely helps. It's hard to imagine being away for so long but I guess it really is the best option for his career, and that is what matters most.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by twistertwin View Post
    My husband got HSST'ed too. Put in for DI, since we lived there, and got sent recruiting. He was an E5, but picked up Ssgt right before recruiting school. It's a rough duty, but like said above, it's necessary to advance.

    This is the perfect time to volunteer, since he hasn't been HSST'ed and isn't married. I know it's a daunting thought, but I would want him to do it now. It's much harder when married, the uncertainty of where he would go, or the possibility of a billet he wouldn't enjoy.
    Thanks for sharing your experience. It is helpful. If it IS what is best for him, then that is definitely what I want for him.

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