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Thread: Okay, so we weren't expecting this.... Recruiting..?

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    #1

    Okay, so we weren't expecting this.... Recruiting..?

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    The hubs is currently stationed overseas in Okinawa. In January, he popped up on the HSST list (Marine Corps). He just got notification that he has been slotted for recruiting duty, with a school seat sometime in February 2014. When we had spoken about it before, he was adamant that he would NEVER do recruiting and that he would choose to deny the orders and get out rather than be forced to do recruiting (he had his heart set on a different special duty assignment). Well, now that it's kind of been decided, now he feels like he has no other option. Thankfully, he is already starting to look at the positive things that could come from recruiting duty, though I know that he is still bummed that he didn't get his first choice (which he's been trying to get for the last year!).

    So, questions for you all. First, are there any specific things that I could/should be doing to support him? How did you support your guy when he was assigned a job he just did NOT want to do? He's the kind of guy where if he doesn't want to talk about it, he closes up like a bank vault. I'm already trying to just be a passive listener and just be there if he *wants* to talk, without passing judgment, and being as positive as possible for him.

    Second, I've already been online and read horror stories from other wives. So, for those of you who have done recruiting duty, or are maybe in it now, what positive things have you experienced? EVERYTHING has a silver lining, so I'm trying to focus on that as much as possible. Personally, I'm just so looking forward to him sleeping in MY bed every night and no deployments.

    OH, and he'll be home sooner than expected, which is AWESOME!!!! The LDR thing sucks...
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    #2
    We were in exactly your shoes not so many years ago - DH was actually in the process of putting his MSG package together when he came up on the list for RD He, too, had always been adamant that RD was the one duty he would NEVER do, that he'd sooner get out than take the orders, etc - but when push came to shove we sat down and talked things through and he realized that with 12+ years in he'd be throwing away his career, pension, etc over three years (even if it turned out to be hell). Ultimately, it came down to doing what was best for our family long-term even if it meant some short-term suffering.
    As for how it turned out - turns out DH was a teriffic recruiter. The duty can still suck even if you are successful - a lot of how it is will depend on the command. There were two different COs during DH's tour and the difference was night and day as far as morale, quality of life, etc under each of them. DH spent a year as a canvasser, two as the NCOIC of his RS and then one at MEPS as the liason (he actually extended his tour to do that as it was *supposed* to pave the way to going career recruiter/a staff position so we could finish his career out here since we were w/in three years of his 20 and why PCS, etc for one more tour KWIM? - but we all know how plans work out with the military and when another new CO came in that plan was changed for us).
    I won't lie, there were times both DH and I hated the duty - but overall it was not nearly as bad as the stories I read/heard prior to our arrival out here. I would say try not to focus on those stories before you give yourselves the chance to have your own experience. What I'm getting at is that if you come into it expecting to hate it, be miserable, etc then that is the experience you will have - no matter how good or bad it actually is....I've seen that happen.
    Be glad to talk to you about it any time......
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    My husband has not had recruiter duty, but a very good friend's husband did. Are you going to end the LDR when he PCS's for duty?

    I ask because my friends husband reported to the school and then PCSed to RD after a year long deployment. She said that for them the transition was ok since they had just come off a deployment, so she was pretty independent and they were grateful to see each other at all, so the workload and time he spent doing recruiting wasn't as horrible for them as it was for some of the others that they were with. I think the biggest thing for her was she just went with the flow and knew hours were going to suck. He traveled a lot and would drop almost anything to go meet with someone, and she made sure he knew it was fine with her to do that.

    She said a few of the spouses of members at the RS seemed to go into it with an impression that it's a 9-5 job, almost like a vacation and it wasn't. They had good recruits and good numbers but it was still a LOT of work.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn View Post
    My husband has not had recruiter duty, but a very good friend's husband did. Are you going to end the LDR when he PCS's for duty?

    I ask because my friends husband reported to the school and then PCSed to RD after a year long deployment. She said that for them the transition was ok since they had just come off a deployment, so she was pretty independent and they were grateful to see each other at all, so the workload and time he spent doing recruiting wasn't as horrible for them as it was for some of the others that they were with. I think the biggest thing for her was she just went with the flow and knew hours were going to suck. He traveled a lot and would drop almost anything to go meet with someone, and she made sure he knew it was fine with her to do that.

    She said a few of the spouses of members at the RS seemed to go into it with an impression that it's a 9-5 job, almost like a vacation and it wasn't. They had good recruits and good numbers but it was still a LOT of work.
    - it's kind of a double edged sword to be successful because while you may have met YOUR numbers, if the RS as a whole hasn't they tend to look to their strong RSSs to fill in the gaps so even though you are "done" for the month there is pressure to bring in even more - which can get frustrating all around.
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    #5
    I'm in the same situation as you. DH was hit on the HSST list. He goes to school in Jan 2014 and we move right afterwards. He didn't want to be a recruiter either, and I could see his stress levels rise and just asking about it stressed him out. But after being in over 10 years, it was in his best interest to continue with his career. We are now trying to look at this new duty station as an adventure.
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    #6
    Dh is recruiting now (3 years with the Navy). Mostly do not expect it to be a 9-5 cush job even when he is home the phone is still ringing.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn View Post
    My husband has not had recruiter duty, but a very good friend's husband did. Are you going to end the LDR when he PCS's for duty?

    I ask because my friends husband reported to the school and then PCSed to RD after a year long deployment. She said that for them the transition was ok since they had just come off a deployment, so she was pretty independent and they were grateful to see each other at all, so the workload and time he spent doing recruiting wasn't as horrible for them as it was for some of the others that they were with. I think the biggest thing for her was she just went with the flow and knew hours were going to suck. He traveled a lot and would drop almost anything to go meet with someone, and she made sure he knew it was fine with her to do that.

    She said a few of the spouses of members at the RS seemed to go into it with an impression that it's a 9-5 job, almost like a vacation and it wasn't. They had good recruits and good numbers but it was still a LOT of work.
    THIS!! The bolded. Right now, all I can think about is, "Who the heck cares!? I'll get to see him!!"

    Yes, we are planning on ending the LDR when he PCS's for the duty. In fact, we are hoping that he will be able to get a by name request for where I am located (I already have a great rental house and a FANTASTIC job, so it would be ideal.)

    One of the BIGGEST things that I hear over and over are the hours. However, his last job (before this current one overseas), he typically worked from 7am to 6pm, so I kind of feel like I'm prepared for the hours...?

    Deifick, this is exactly what we had discussed too. Why throw away 10 years for a duty that is going to be 3 years (maybe less)? But, I know that he was so incredibly disappointed. My heart really broke for him.
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    #8
    Well as a spouse the hours is what sucks the most Typically Dh leaves at 8:15 am and gets in around 10 pm. Here lately closer to midnight. Some people love recruiting and get a smaller station or one with lots of qualified walk ins. Dh wasnt so lucky and he is the only spanish speaker for a very large area. I hope it works out well for y'all!!
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    #9
    Thanks, MamaMia! I am trying to stay positive about it because I agree that what you expect from something, will most likely happen (like, if I walk in going, "Oh man, this is gonna suck!", then it's probably going to suck.)

    At this point, I would LOVE for him to actually *get* the orders for recruiting so that I could have a set date to countdown to ending the LDR.

    The other thing that I've heard/read about is that if the MEP's location and airport are far away, that your man ends up doing a LOT of driving hours. The awesome thing is that if he was able to get recruiting duty where I am, he's about 10 minutes from the local, international airport! So, I'm hoping that that would help.
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    #10
    Yep Meps for Dh is a 45 min drive but we have some that have to drive 4-6 hours to it. Its not all bad... he hasnt had duty in 3 years If he has a cool rinc and the station is doing good sometimes they throw in some extra days off.
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